Sat in the kitchen...again

[kittypurry]

Seems I spend alot of time in here on my own when kids are asleep. Having bad time with MIL not registering I exist unless to ask me when I'm leaving. Rather be here on my own than sat on the sofa with her sideways glances or outright staring at me.

VERY hard not to take it all personally this week

 

[danny]

Oh Kitty,come over to the bar

 

[Canadian Joanne]

It IS hard not to take it personally, isn't it? Does your MIL have a friend who can visit her and distract her? What about a lunch club or something like that?

Putting up with that attitude, even though we all know it's the disease, grinds a person down terribly.

Hang in there and take care.

 

[CaPattinson]

dear me

How awful for you. wish i could say something to help but I don't know what to think. Try to be strong, its hard, it must be, thinking of you, take care, my friend. XXXXXX

 

[piedwarbler]

I read a book recently (Keeper by Andrea Gillies) where the woman who was caring for her MIL got upset as her MIL referred constantly to her daughter in law's kids as evil little b******s and told her to get them out of the house constantly. She felt so upset because these children were tiptoeing around her MIL and trying not to antagonise her. It is a book with quite a few smiles and laughs in it despite the grimness of the Alzheimers that the MIL is suffering from.

I just thought it might comfort you to know of someone else it has happened to.

My mum has called me evil and bossy plenty of times but fortunately (in a way) this mum co-exists with a second one who believes I am an angel sent from heaven. The tricky thing is, I am never quite sure which Mum I will meet when I visit. I have been an angel from heaven for quite a long time now; I can tip the balance though very easily if I don't get Countdown on the TV within 3 seconds of a request being made.

x

 

[Nanak]

Oh Kitty
Doesn't matter how often we tell ourselves it is the disease we wouldn't we human if it didn't hurt.
Once when I went to visit my MIL in her care home I spent two and a half hours with her. When I said I have to go now Mum she looked at me and said "well it would have been better if you didn't come!"
Just know we are all here for you any time xx
Nanak
missing what has gone and scared of what is to come

 

[larivy]

sorry you are having such a bad time at the moment hope things improve mum went through this stage and i really struggled thank god she is the opposite now friendly and funny Larivy

 

[Christin]

Hello Kitty. I hope you feeling a bit better now. I often find FIL sitting staring at me. I often wonder whats going through his mind but then perhaps its better that I don't . It did take me a long time to learn not to worry about it. Now I am not sure he knows who I am all the time and he oftens asks me. I have learnt to tell myself that this is my home too and I am entitled to sit on the sofa if I want to.

 

[pixy]

Mil

It must be very difficult to deal with a mother in law. It is harden enough coping with a mother - emotionally and physically let alone a MIL with all the feelings that can bring.

 

[alex]

Hi Kitty,
I can understand it getting you down, it must be difficult and i'm sure most people would feel a little uncomfortable, however, its nice to have a room you can consider your own space, i must admit the kitchen is my favourite room.....mainly because i'm close to the teapot

Hope tomorrow brings a better day for you.

Love Alex x