Sanity saver!

[Fishgirl]

Hello everyone, I found this forum over the weekend and I’m so glad I did as I’ve been feeling particularly depressed recently.My husband was diagnosed in January 2017 but I now realise it started about 3 years before that! I know there are thousands of people going through the same thing, but I feel better knowing I can actually be in contact with them rather than just knowing that they are out there somewhere!

 

[canary]

Hello @Fishgirl and welcome to DTP.

This site is indeed a sanity saver. You will find many people in exactly the same boat as yourself as well as a huge amount of knowledge. You can ask about anything and there will be someone who has dealt with the same thing.

Have you found the Alz Soc Factsheets? There is a lot of information there too
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list

Do have a mooch around and feel free to join in conversations or start new threads if you want to ask about something in particular.

 

[Bunpoots]

Welcome from me too @Fishgirl

This forum is definitely a sanity saver! Keep posting

 

[Helly68]

Yes! It saved my sanity this morning.....

 

[Philbo]

Hello @Fishgirl

Welcome to the forum and the sanity mob

Phil

 

[Fishgirl]

Thank you for the welcome messages, it’s so good to know that there’s someone I can get advice from who really know what they’re talking about! I think I will probably be posting a lot and the Fact sheet site is brilliant!

 

[Canadian Joanne]

I found that the biggest relief was that people completely understood what I was talking about.

 

[Fishgirl]

Yes friends and family are very sympathetic but nobody can really understand how hard it is unless they’re actually living with it, plus I feel as though they think I’m going on about it too much when it’s not me that’s actually ill.

 

[Glokta]

I think that’s a normal response, I’m desperate for normal human companionship but my conversation is dominated by what I do every day, ie, look after mum. To people not in the know they often give unsuitable advise like “oh, I’d stop her doing that”. I try to explain that my guardianship of mum is not there so I can punish her. The dementia is not her fault!

 

[Fishgirl]

I’ve had advice like don’t keep giving in to him and just make him go out he’ll be fine when he gets there, they’ve no idea how difficult it is! He’s in bed now so I’ll have to go as well because he’ll be up again at 2am and 3 and 4. God I’d give anything for a good nights sleep.

 

[nae sporran]

Lack of sleep is awful, you just can't really function properly at all. Can you get some respite form outside carers to let you sleep for a couple of nights just to get back to normal. It's not much but it helps.

 

[Fishgirl]

He wouldn’t be able to cope with anyone staying overnight, even when family come to visit after an hour or so, he gets really agitated and says he doesn’t want them to come again, ( not in front of them)
I don’t give in to that one though, otherwise I’d never see anyone because he won’t go out except to the supermarket or the doctors.

 

[Guzelle]

My husband was given mirtazipine an antidepressant which helped him sleep. You could add the GP for something to help him sleep. My OH always says he doesn’t want to see people but he soon forgets he has seen them!

 

[Fishgirl]

Yes I’ve already got an appointment to see the doctor about it, and the fact that he’s getting more agitated over little things that don’t matter, but because it’s not an “emergency “ I couldn’t get in until the 20th!

 

[DesperateofDevon]

He wouldn’t be able to cope with anyone staying overnight, even when family come to visit after an hour or so, he gets really agitated and says he doesn’t want them to come again, ( not in front of them)
I don’t give in to that one though, otherwise I’d never see anyone because he won’t go out except to the supermarket or the doctors.

I had to stop staying overnight eventually as I would wake up in the early hours with Mum hovering over me muttering the most horrid things. From resentment to how she would get rid of me. Yep - permanently get rid of .... it frightens me even now to remember.
Aged Mother was like a stealth ninja at her night time exploits.
( I have to find humour in these situations otherwise it tears me apart that that was my life for so many years!)

 

[Grannie G]

I’ve had advice like don’t keep giving in to him and just make him go out he’ll be fine when he gets there,

Please don`t listen to this advice.

Perhaps this will help. You can show your well meaning advisors.

https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/thr...he-memory-impaired.30801/page-15#post-1656633

 

[pevensey]

Hello everyone, I found this forum over the weekend and I’m so glad I did as I’ve been feeling particularly depressed recently.My husband was diagnosed in January 2017 but I now realise it started about 3 years before that! I know there are thousands of people going through the same thing, but I feel better knowing I can actually be in contact with them rather than just knowing that they are out there somewhere!

Welcome fishgirl, isola,pleased for you that you found this TP site, its really is a sanity saver. and you will make so many friends just at the click of a button. So many different lovely people have so many different solutions to all the problems we all have. And you can really feel their empathy and true feelings for any problems you have. You just feel like your in safe hands. But you don't have to come on here just when you have a problem and are crying out for help it's good just to shout out loud and rant when you've had a really bad day and then take a deep breath and
Breath. Take care and look after YOURSELF.

 

[Fishgirl]

Hi Desperate of Devon,
That must have been terrifying, my husband hasn’t shown any actual aggression yet, it’s more agitation when there’s anything out of the normal routine. I’m wondering if the aggression is inevitable as it seems so common?
Than you Grannie G for the link, that is really helpful, I’m ashamed to admit that I’ve probably done most of the don’ts but I’m learning a lot more on here than any of the doctors have told me!! Especially about the shadowing, I couldn’t understand why he follows me about from room that room.

 

[Fishgirl]

Welcome fishgirl, isola,pleased for you that you found this TP site, its really is a sanity saver. and you will make so many friends just at the click of a button. So many different lovely people have so many different solutions to all the problems we all have. And you can really feel their empathy and true feelings for any problems you have. You just feel like your in safe hands. But you don't have to come on here just when you have a problem and are crying out for help it's good just to shout out loud and rant when you've had a really bad day and then take a deep breath and
Breath. Take care and look after YOURSELF.

Welcome fishgirl, isola,pleased for you that you found this TP site, its really is a sanity saver. and you will make so many friends just at the click of a button. So many different lovely people have so many different solutions to all the problems we all have. And you can really feel their empathy and true feelings for any problems you have. You just feel like your in safe hands. But you don't have to come on here just when you have a problem and are crying out for help it's good just to shout out loud and rant when you've had a really bad day and then take a deep breath and
Breath. Take care and look after YOURSELF.

Sorry about that, went wrong somewhere, probably lack of sleep Thank you pevensey for your reply. I do feel strangely enlightened, it’s a good feeling!

 

[DesperateofDevon]

Hi Desperate of Devon,
That must have been terrifying, my husband hasn’t shown any actual aggression yet, it’s more agitation when there’s anything out of the normal routine. I’m wondering if the aggression is inevitable as it seems so common?
Than you Grannie G for the link, that is really helpful, I’m ashamed to admit that I’ve probably done most of the don’ts but I’m learning a lot more on here than any of the doctors have told me!! Especially about the shadowing, I couldn’t understand why he follows me about from room that room.

My Dads lovely with his dementia, in a care home & everybody adores him
Routine is the key with certain constants, just don’t be a 24/7 constant! Start the routines ASAP & try & stick to them.
Good luck
X