Same care home as respite?

[Sianey]

Is it best if my Mam stays in the same care home permanently that she has been in for the last three weeks on respite?

She has three weeks left partly funded by the Council as they fund six weeks respite and she's been in already for three weeks , until she probably moves into a home on a permanent basis.

It isn't as close to me as I would wish but if Mam is settled and used to the staff is it best there? They have kept her clean and dry whilst she has been there and the food seems lovely and home made.

How do you tell that they are happy? And that somewhere is could be better?

Mam had a operation this week they were doing a spinal anaesthetic but had to do general and her confusion is terrible now.

 

[jaymor]

If you are happy with the home and confident they are looking after her well I would leave her there.

You could go looking for another home but until she was actually there you won't know what the actual care is like.

As to the confusion, anaesthetic does add to confusion and hopefully she will recover over the weeks. She may not go back to where she was before but some of it should disappear. My husband had to have an operation and he was extremely confused for some time but he did recover and was the same as he was before the operation. We were lucky.

 

[Sianey]

Thanks Jaymor, I suppose I knew deep down it was best to leave her there. A care home had been recommended to us by an elderly gentleman who had been in it but they had no respite or permanent vacancies at the time Mam needed to go in and even if respite was available there permanent seems always full.

The confusion is very bad no reality in any sentence at all. Plus Mam seems to wet herself a lot more after the op, it was on her bladder though so maybe it's that.

To be sure I've made a drs appointment for Thursday just to ask questions if she is still confused. I rang the home last night and apparently she is very weepy as well.

I go tomorrow to see her but feel so guilty when I aren't there. I don't understand the guilt really at all but it does seem to be there a lot of the time.