Hi Everyone,
Any help would be appreciated please!
Mum has one of those old style electric black hobs (where you can't see if they are red hot and stays hot for about an hour).
Not that she uses the hobs as far as I know it would only be the carers but I am very worried about the safety aspect. Especially now as my brother has just told me that Mum was weeks ago just randomly turning the hobs on and leaving them on!!!
The question is does anyone know of an electric hob that if turned on has an automatic cut out? I could just get the present hob disconnected and use the microwave but if safe it would be good to have a hob as well.
The other issue is how do you know when is the right time to make the move to a care home?
I have now taken an unpaid sabbatical from work until January to spend time with Mum. She lives five and a half hours away from me but I have been getting more and more concerned about her. She has deteriorated quite a bit over the last few months.
She can't remember anything short term, keeps going out leaving her door unlocked (luckily she is in sheltered accommodation so her front door opens onto an internal corridor). I have to almost force her to have a shower, she keeps putting the same clothes on and is not washing them. When we are out she talks to people randomly and shuffles so has tripped a couple of times when she was with me.
She also seems to want to go out in the evening for shopping which she doesn't need. She lives in a city which although quite safe she I think puts herself at risk by cutting through the bottom of a multi storey car park which in its self worries me.
She had her purse stolen by a couple in the shops a couple of years ago.
She keeps getting all her stuff out of the cupboards and then puts it back again. She keeps moving everything around and is constantly losing her keys and glasses, gets food out of the freezer and lets it defrost. She gets particularly agitated in the evening and last night tried to take my keys from me getting quite nasty saying they were my dad's who has been dead for nineteen years which upset me. She also keeps thinking that I am her dead sister and says that she wonders where I am.
I'm finding it very hard to judge what to do, I don't want her to go into a home too early, but I worry about her safety. And how bad is bad as I have no way of judging? I'm hoping to get an assessment by the mental health team (apparently that will be in a months time) to see what they think.
I could step up the carers once I go back home and try to see how that works. I have though been very disappointed with the carers generally as they just seem to come in and do the basics, and we pay an agency £19.00 an hour. This is a concern as Mum doesn't need personal care and I would have thought she was one of their easier clients so goodness knows what would happen if she needed more attention. For example leaving old medication in the locked medicine cabinet, old food left in fridge and barely anything in the fridge even though one of their visits is to take her shopping. Mum goes to day care two days a week and I noticed last week when she came back she had gone out with a cardigan on and no blouse underneath when the carer had been responsible for making sure she had got dressed and various other things.
There was one girl who the agency used to send (who has now left the agency) who was really good who seemed to actually care. I'm thinking of maybe approaching her to see if she would be happy to come an help Mum. Can anyone advise what would be a fair hourly rate? Mum doesn't need personal care but she will need prompting to have a shower.
I would appreciate anyone's help as I'm finding it so hard my Mum seems to be disappearing and I just want to do the right thing.
Any help would be appreciated please!
Mum has one of those old style electric black hobs (where you can't see if they are red hot and stays hot for about an hour).
Not that she uses the hobs as far as I know it would only be the carers but I am very worried about the safety aspect. Especially now as my brother has just told me that Mum was weeks ago just randomly turning the hobs on and leaving them on!!!
The question is does anyone know of an electric hob that if turned on has an automatic cut out? I could just get the present hob disconnected and use the microwave but if safe it would be good to have a hob as well.
The other issue is how do you know when is the right time to make the move to a care home?
I have now taken an unpaid sabbatical from work until January to spend time with Mum. She lives five and a half hours away from me but I have been getting more and more concerned about her. She has deteriorated quite a bit over the last few months.
She can't remember anything short term, keeps going out leaving her door unlocked (luckily she is in sheltered accommodation so her front door opens onto an internal corridor). I have to almost force her to have a shower, she keeps putting the same clothes on and is not washing them. When we are out she talks to people randomly and shuffles so has tripped a couple of times when she was with me.
She also seems to want to go out in the evening for shopping which she doesn't need. She lives in a city which although quite safe she I think puts herself at risk by cutting through the bottom of a multi storey car park which in its self worries me.
She had her purse stolen by a couple in the shops a couple of years ago.
She keeps getting all her stuff out of the cupboards and then puts it back again. She keeps moving everything around and is constantly losing her keys and glasses, gets food out of the freezer and lets it defrost. She gets particularly agitated in the evening and last night tried to take my keys from me getting quite nasty saying they were my dad's who has been dead for nineteen years which upset me. She also keeps thinking that I am her dead sister and says that she wonders where I am.
I'm finding it very hard to judge what to do, I don't want her to go into a home too early, but I worry about her safety. And how bad is bad as I have no way of judging? I'm hoping to get an assessment by the mental health team (apparently that will be in a months time) to see what they think.
I could step up the carers once I go back home and try to see how that works. I have though been very disappointed with the carers generally as they just seem to come in and do the basics, and we pay an agency £19.00 an hour. This is a concern as Mum doesn't need personal care and I would have thought she was one of their easier clients so goodness knows what would happen if she needed more attention. For example leaving old medication in the locked medicine cabinet, old food left in fridge and barely anything in the fridge even though one of their visits is to take her shopping. Mum goes to day care two days a week and I noticed last week when she came back she had gone out with a cardigan on and no blouse underneath when the carer had been responsible for making sure she had got dressed and various other things.
There was one girl who the agency used to send (who has now left the agency) who was really good who seemed to actually care. I'm thinking of maybe approaching her to see if she would be happy to come an help Mum. Can anyone advise what would be a fair hourly rate? Mum doesn't need personal care but she will need prompting to have a shower.
I would appreciate anyone's help as I'm finding it so hard my Mum seems to be disappearing and I just want to do the right thing.