Safe Hobs and how do I judge when is the right time for c.h.? Carers Fees etc.

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by susanandliam, Aug 22, 2015.

  1. susanandliam

    susanandliam Registered User

    Dec 10, 2012
    119
    somerset
    Hi Everyone,

    Any help would be appreciated please!

    Mum has one of those old style electric black hobs (where you can't see if they are red hot and stays hot for about an hour).

    Not that she uses the hobs as far as I know it would only be the carers but I am very worried about the safety aspect. Especially now as my brother has just told me that Mum was weeks ago just randomly turning the hobs on and leaving them on!!!

    The question is does anyone know of an electric hob that if turned on has an automatic cut out? I could just get the present hob disconnected and use the microwave but if safe it would be good to have a hob as well.

    The other issue is how do you know when is the right time to make the move to a care home?

    I have now taken an unpaid sabbatical from work until January to spend time with Mum. She lives five and a half hours away from me but I have been getting more and more concerned about her. She has deteriorated quite a bit over the last few months.

    She can't remember anything short term, keeps going out leaving her door unlocked (luckily she is in sheltered accommodation so her front door opens onto an internal corridor). I have to almost force her to have a shower, she keeps putting the same clothes on and is not washing them. When we are out she talks to people randomly and shuffles so has tripped a couple of times when she was with me.

    She also seems to want to go out in the evening for shopping which she doesn't need. She lives in a city which although quite safe she I think puts herself at risk by cutting through the bottom of a multi storey car park which in its self worries me.

    She had her purse stolen by a couple in the shops a couple of years ago.

    She keeps getting all her stuff out of the cupboards and then puts it back again. She keeps moving everything around and is constantly losing her keys and glasses, gets food out of the freezer and lets it defrost. She gets particularly agitated in the evening and last night tried to take my keys from me getting quite nasty saying they were my dad's who has been dead for nineteen years which upset me. She also keeps thinking that I am her dead sister and says that she wonders where I am.

    I'm finding it very hard to judge what to do, I don't want her to go into a home too early, but I worry about her safety. And how bad is bad as I have no way of judging? I'm hoping to get an assessment by the mental health team (apparently that will be in a months time) to see what they think.

    I could step up the carers once I go back home and try to see how that works. I have though been very disappointed with the carers generally as they just seem to come in and do the basics, and we pay an agency £19.00 an hour. This is a concern as Mum doesn't need personal care and I would have thought she was one of their easier clients so goodness knows what would happen if she needed more attention. For example leaving old medication in the locked medicine cabinet, old food left in fridge and barely anything in the fridge even though one of their visits is to take her shopping. Mum goes to day care two days a week and I noticed last week when she came back she had gone out with a cardigan on and no blouse underneath when the carer had been responsible for making sure she had got dressed and various other things.

    There was one girl who the agency used to send (who has now left the agency) who was really good who seemed to actually care. I'm thinking of maybe approaching her to see if she would be happy to come an help Mum. Can anyone advise what would be a fair hourly rate? Mum doesn't need personal care but she will need prompting to have a shower.

    I would appreciate anyone's help as I'm finding it so hard my Mum seems to be disappearing and I just want to do the right thing. :(
     
  2. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,815
    UK
    Not sure there is such a thing as a safe hob especially for someone with Dementia, if she is not cooking for herself and its simply a case of warming up, I'd stick to a microwave and disable the oven knobs.

    Everything you have described was for me the time to move my mum in with me so that I could give her full time care, did not want to wait until she had an accident.

    It would depend on the individual carer, if she is self employed and taking on private clients you should just ask her what she charges, in my experience private carers don't feel comfortable negotiating.

    Really hope you can get things in place so that you can put off the care home scenario, its a heart breaking discussion to make, I cried buckets when mum moved in with me, because she had no idea what myself and siblings were planning for her future.
     
  3. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    4,776
    Salford
    We talked about this a while back (but I can't find the thread).
    You could remove the knobs they usually just pull off and it's almost impossible to turn the switch without the knob. There should be an isolator switch somewhere (possibly in a cupboard) so you may be able to do it there. It's possible that the hob is separately fused at the mains so you could switch it off there or remove the fuse.
    The hob has to be fused somewhere if you can find the fuse then remove it.
    Google the make and model of the hob and you should be able to see if it has an internal fuse. Other than that as you say get it disconnected it's only a 5 minute job.
    K
     
  4. susanandliam

    susanandliam Registered User

    Dec 10, 2012
    119
    somerset
    Thank you

    Thank you Tin,

    Did your Mum moving in with you work well and how manageable for you has it been?
     
  5. susanandliam

    susanandliam Registered User

    Dec 10, 2012
    119
    somerset
    Thanks for the advice it's probably the best thing to do, I will do this. I just wondered if there was such a thing as a safe hob which is probably a contradiction in terms!
     
  6. garnuft

    garnuft Registered User

    Sep 7, 2012
    6,585
    Aw, it's so hard isn't it?

    Your mum reminds me of my mam.

    I think it was the hardest time of my life, supporting mam at home, during this part of her life.

    Carers were in place for what turned out to be the last six weeks of her life.

    They were NEVER going to be good enough, for a number of reasons,
    not just because mam didn't want them (who would?)
    not just because they didn't have enough time to build up trust and rapport,
    not just because some of them I wouldn't have left caring for my garden gate...but for ALL of these reasons plus a 1000 more.

    We had to disconnect mam's cooker, it was gas so blowing up the street was a REAL worry.
    I would definitely take the fuse out (if your mum can withstand the intrusion of work people, you could have a lockable isolating switch fitted that would enable family and carers to still be able to use the cooker... But I know THAT would have driven mam wild, better her cooker didn't work at all, than to see it work for others but not for her).

    It's rotten but if by disabling the cooker you enable your mum to live independently for as long as she can...then you are TRULY doing the best thing for her.

    Sounds like she's pushing the boundaries of safe, 'independent' living, my Mam was too.

    She was lucky, she managed to die at home, aged 86 and a half, before dementia threw it's final, devastating blows.

    Best wishes to you during this truly awful time,
    And best wishes to your little Mum, who's just living her life as best she's able. xxx


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  7. susanandliam

    susanandliam Registered User

    Dec 10, 2012
    119
    somerset
    Thank you so much... your response, understanding and kindness made me cry!

    My Mum was originally from County Durham so I think your answer clicked with me.

    My Mum is 87 years old now and I hope and pray that she doesn't have a much longer harder journey in front of her. She said to me yesterday that she didn't feel that she should be here anymore and I have to shut myself away to cry. xxx
     
  8. Spamar

    Spamar Registered User

    Oct 5, 2013
    6,987
    Suffolk
    Interesting. You say she doesn't need personal care...but she's not washing her clothes or herself. She went out without a blouse, just a cardigan. To my mind, she does need personal care.
    I would spend the next few months finding a good care home and installing her there.

    When things happen, it's often suddenly. It's odds on there'll be a crisis just before you are due to go back to work. Take your time. Find a home, either in her town or your town ( better your town if you're the only one likely to visit).
    The rest of he things are normal (!) dementia things and they might get better, but I can guarantee something worse will replace them!
    IMHO.
     
  9. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    4,776
    Salford
    There are hobs that have childproof locks like this
    http://www.electrolux.co.uk/Products/Cooking/Hobs/Electric_hobs/EHF6241FOK
    or you can get childproof hob knob (sounds like a biscuit) covers from Tesco
    http://www.tesco.com/direct/pack-of-4-stove-oven-knob-covers-f141-dreambaby/243-9247.prd
    If you google for "childproof" hobs then quite a few turn up, given that the hob and installation will be up to £500(approx.) the Tesco type locks at £7,47 for 4 might be worth a try see if they defeat her.
    K
     
  10. nov14

    nov14 Registered User

    May 27, 2014
    20
    Goostrey, Cheshire
    We have an induction hob that doesn't get hot. Mum doesn't know how to use it anyway but I think it's pretty safe for her. It doesn't work unless there is a pan on it either.


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  11. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    4,776
    Salford
    I never knew that, how clever is that. This one doesn't work unless there's a pan on it and childproof feature for £189 top tip nov14:)
    K

    http://www.myappliances.co.uk/prod/...tion-hob.htm?gclid=CLG79uvLvccCFc8aGwodf3MKXQ
     
  12. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,815
    UK
    Honestly the first year was very hard, our lives full of anxiety and desperate distraction all the time, questioning and doubting every thing I did for mum. March this year I 'got it' and mum became so much calmer, probably due to change of anti depressants. Now I know I did the right thing, but I have had to give up a lot, firstly work and then slowly a lot of my evening social life, but I still see friends and I have a great carer who sits with mum when needed. Finances are not great, Dementia just seems like a bottomless money pit. The one thing I have noticed and it happens more and more, mum refers to our home as her house and everything in it is hers, so I guess she has settled/accepted the situation, hard sharing my clothes with her though, especially when I am looking for shoes and find she has got them on!!!!!!!
     
  13. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,777
    Female
    South coast
    If its an electric hob there will be a switch on the wall to switch it on and off. Why not switch it off there and get a child-proof socket cover?
    Alternatively, I have a a free-standing cooker with both hob and oven and it has its own separate circuit and switch in the fusebox. If you have the same arrangement it would be easy to disable the hob/cooker from there.
     
  14. susanandliam

    susanandliam Registered User

    Dec 10, 2012
    119
    somerset
    Hob

    Thank you that is a brilliant idea!
     
  15. susanandliam

    susanandliam Registered User

    Dec 10, 2012
    119
    somerset
  16. susanandliam

    susanandliam Registered User

    Dec 10, 2012
    119
    somerset
    Thank you

    Thank you everyone for your advice it really is much appreciated.
     

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