Sadness and much guilt

[Lynnb81]

My Dad passed away a few days ago after battling in hospital for 6 weeks with chest infection. It's been heart breaking seeing him in hospital and I wasnt there when he passed. I live 1 and half drive away and have two young children. Although I went to visit it him through out the year . I feel guilty that I should have gone more. This year I didnt go over easter like I normally do and last time I saw him was end if Feb. Before he became ill in June. I cant get over the guilt I should have gone at easter. I was at the hospital all the time I could get there and seen him few days before he passed. But he was in so much pain it wasnt nice to see. I cant get passed the guilt I feel. I do feel happy he is no longer in pain and at peace but its hurts so much.

 

[DesperateofDevon]

My Dad passed away a few days ago after battling in hospital for 6 weeks with chest infection. It's been heart breaking seeing him in hospital and I wasnt there when he passed. I live 1 and half drive away and have two young children. Although I went to visit it him through out the year . I feel guilty that I should have gone more. This year I didnt go over easter like I normally do and last time I saw him was end if Feb. Before he became ill in June. I cant get over the guilt I should have gone at easter. I was at the hospital all the time I could get there and seen him few days before he passed. But he was in so much pain it wasnt nice to see. I cant get passed the guilt I feel. I do feel happy he is no longer in pain and at peace but its hurts so much.

Please don’t feel guilty, you can only do so much. Your priority is your children, believe me I regret putting my ailing parents above my children & now they are grown up they ask me why I didn’t put myself before others.
I think you loved your parent, & your family priorities are just how it should be.
Please trust me when I say that you were there for your parent when needed. It’s very common for loved ones to pass when family leaves the room.
Enjoy your children & hug them close.
That’s what a parent should do
I hope this helps my lovely,
Xx

 

[Shedrech]

sad news @Lynnb81
my condolences on your loss

I doubt there's a single one of us who's lost a parent, partner, friend who hasn't had some thoughts of 'if only' or 'I wish' or 'I should' .... and actually we no doubt each did whatever we could in situations where it was almost impossible to fight off the guilt monster telling us that we ought to have done more
your children need you, they have to be your priority ... everything you want for them, your dad wanted for you ... you went to your dad's side as soon as you knew it was his time ... look after his grandchildren for him, help them know the man he really was; that may help you put the whole of his life in perspective
your dad is at peace now ... be gentle with yourself, grieve and allow yourself to find peace

 

[Cat27]

I’m so sorry @Lynnb81.
I think guilt goes hand in hand with grief. I think everyone has the what if thoughts. You did the very best you could for your Dad.

 

[Lynnb81]

Thank you
He was a big family man the best dad I could wish for. I know he would want me to concentrate on my children




QUOTE="Shedrech, post: 1651461, member: 33224"]sad news @Lynnb81
my condolences on your loss

I doubt there's a single one of us who's lost a parent, partner, friend who hasn't had some thoughts of 'if only' or 'I wish' or 'I should' .... and actually we no doubt each did whatever we could in situations where it was almost impossible to fight off the guilt monster telling us that we ought to have done more
your children need you, they have to be your priority ... everything you want for them, your dad wanted for you ... you went to your dad's side as soon as you knew it was his time ... look after his grandchildren for him, help them know the man he really was; that may help you put the whole of his life in perspective
your dad is at peace now ... be gentle with yourself, grieve and allow yourself to find peace[/QUOTE]

 

[Lynnb81]

Thank you that means slor

I’m so sorry @Lynnb81.
I think guilt goes hand in hand with grief. I think everyone has the what if thoughts. You did the very best you could for your Dad.

 

[Lynnb81]

sad news @Lynnb81
my condolences on your loss

I doubt there's a single one of us who's lost a parent, partner, friend who hasn't had some thoughts of 'if only' or 'I wish' or 'I should' .... and actually we no doubt each did whatever we could in situations where it was almost impossible to fight off the guilt monster telling us that we ought to have done more
your children need you, they have to be your priority ... everything you want for them, your dad wanted for you ... you went to your dad's side as soon as you knew it was his time ... look after his grandchildren for him, help them know the man he really was; that may help you put the whole of his life in perspective
your dad is at peace now ... be gentle with yourself, grieve and allow yourself to find peace

Thank you your reply means alot. I will certainly talk alot about him and what he was like

 

[Bunpoots]

My condolences to you @Lynnb81

There are no winners with this disease. Try to remember the good things about your dad and share them with those you love. Eventually it will get easier.