I haven't been on the forum for a while as so much has been happening. I guess my Mum hasn't been on for a while (C Waring) for similar reasons (coupled with her computer having over 2000 viruses and not working!)
My Dad was diagnosed with dementia aged 57. We think he showed symptoms since his late forties (isn't hindsight a wonderful thing?). My last posting around May time updated on the fact that we had found a wonderful care home for him for people with dementia of all kinds, under 64 years of age. The youngest person in there is in his early forties I believe. The staff are wonderful and the place is quite cheery, not like some of the homes I went to visit. After 4 attempts, and lots of fighting, I managed to secure continuing care funding for Dad to stay there.
He was there 7 weeks. Unfortunately, Dad had a heart attack on 2 July 2004 and could not be resuscitated by paramedics. The dementia had meant that he could no longer work out how to take his inhalers for his asthma. This led to frequent attacks and difficulties in breathing, which in turn weakened his heart. When he was a well man, he never suffered with his asthma at all (no-one even knew he had it) and was an avid mountain-walker. So, whilst his death certificate doesn't mention dementia, there is no doubt that it was the dementia which snatched him away from us. It is a cruel world.
However, on the other hand, Dad was very poorly and miserable with the dementia. He hated the life he had and it was horrendous to see him suffer and deteriorate as he was. He wouldn't have wanted that. At least this means he won't suffer anymore and we won't have to watch the wonderful man whom we loved so much fade anymore. He can now be a shining happy memory. At least, that's the theory! Still, these things take time.
We, as a family, decided to donate his brain to a professor in Manchester who has a "brain bank" for his ongoing research into dementia. I think he was particularly interested in young onset dementia. We all take the view that if our donation could just help one family, and prevent some of the heartache we have endured, then it will be well worth it.
So, suddenly, my day-to-day involvement with dementia is no longer here. I am hoping that I can try to have a life which one could expect to have in one's twenties, rather than waking up in the early hours of every morning wondering how on earth we will manage to get through the next stages. However, I will continue to fundraise wherever possible and educate people (willing or not!) about the devastating effects of the illness. In time, I think I will offer my services as a volunteer to befriend another family similar to my own, perhaps. For now, though, I need to heal.
Anyway, I thought I would update people generally and take the opportunity to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for the support you have provided for me, my mum and my sister, in the many postings and advice we have read on this website over time. It is so comforting to know that people care and understand. Quite frankly, it can sometimes be a life-saver, to simply know that you are not alone.
Keep it up
Vikki
My Dad was diagnosed with dementia aged 57. We think he showed symptoms since his late forties (isn't hindsight a wonderful thing?). My last posting around May time updated on the fact that we had found a wonderful care home for him for people with dementia of all kinds, under 64 years of age. The youngest person in there is in his early forties I believe. The staff are wonderful and the place is quite cheery, not like some of the homes I went to visit. After 4 attempts, and lots of fighting, I managed to secure continuing care funding for Dad to stay there.
He was there 7 weeks. Unfortunately, Dad had a heart attack on 2 July 2004 and could not be resuscitated by paramedics. The dementia had meant that he could no longer work out how to take his inhalers for his asthma. This led to frequent attacks and difficulties in breathing, which in turn weakened his heart. When he was a well man, he never suffered with his asthma at all (no-one even knew he had it) and was an avid mountain-walker. So, whilst his death certificate doesn't mention dementia, there is no doubt that it was the dementia which snatched him away from us. It is a cruel world.
However, on the other hand, Dad was very poorly and miserable with the dementia. He hated the life he had and it was horrendous to see him suffer and deteriorate as he was. He wouldn't have wanted that. At least this means he won't suffer anymore and we won't have to watch the wonderful man whom we loved so much fade anymore. He can now be a shining happy memory. At least, that's the theory! Still, these things take time.
We, as a family, decided to donate his brain to a professor in Manchester who has a "brain bank" for his ongoing research into dementia. I think he was particularly interested in young onset dementia. We all take the view that if our donation could just help one family, and prevent some of the heartache we have endured, then it will be well worth it.
So, suddenly, my day-to-day involvement with dementia is no longer here. I am hoping that I can try to have a life which one could expect to have in one's twenties, rather than waking up in the early hours of every morning wondering how on earth we will manage to get through the next stages. However, I will continue to fundraise wherever possible and educate people (willing or not!) about the devastating effects of the illness. In time, I think I will offer my services as a volunteer to befriend another family similar to my own, perhaps. For now, though, I need to heal.
Anyway, I thought I would update people generally and take the opportunity to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for the support you have provided for me, my mum and my sister, in the many postings and advice we have read on this website over time. It is so comforting to know that people care and understand. Quite frankly, it can sometimes be a life-saver, to simply know that you are not alone.
Keep it up
Vikki
