I'm sorry to tell you that our mother passed away on Sunday morning. Four weeks and three days after breaking her hip - some of which I posted about. I'm not going to go into it all because it was simply too depressing, but my sister and I are deeply angry - not because of her death, since we knew after a while that it was inevitable, but because her treatment was shoddy and, at times, nothing short of disgraceful. Grief is all intertwined right now with anger, but we'll try and deal with that by getting things clearly down on paper and getting it to those concerned, and to Age Concern. It may have no effect for others, but if we don't try, we certainly won't achieve anything. We've all read in the last few days about food being left on trays - but time after time I found pills dumped, one container behind the other. Worse than that, when our mum begged us to help with her pain, they wouldn't take our word for it because she tended to tell them she was okay. They seemed to have no real understanding about Alzheimer's. A surgical ward - not a single medical doctor ever visiting her. A doctor on call Friday night when my sister and I called for him stood outside the room and told us the dramatic downturn we'd noticed was just a reaction to new medication. He never even glanced at her through the window, let alone entered her room. I think he was in surgical scrubs and didn't want to enter an MRSA room.
If I had not chased after her doctor the day before her death and pushed him at length to speak honestly to me, we would not have been told she had 2-3 days to live. She had less than one, in fact.
The "good" news: AD shielded my mother from full realization of what would certainly have confronted her had she survived. And all the love that had been, all too often, submerged by the pain and difficulties and misunderstandings of AD, came back unconditionally. She knew we loved her, and I am more thankful for that than I can tell you.
I wish you all the best possible journeys with your loved ones.
Jeannette
If I had not chased after her doctor the day before her death and pushed him at length to speak honestly to me, we would not have been told she had 2-3 days to live. She had less than one, in fact.
The "good" news: AD shielded my mother from full realization of what would certainly have confronted her had she survived. And all the love that had been, all too often, submerged by the pain and difficulties and misunderstandings of AD, came back unconditionally. She knew we loved her, and I am more thankful for that than I can tell you.
I wish you all the best possible journeys with your loved ones.
Jeannette
