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Sad news about Dad

DaveCr1968

Registered User
Jul 5, 2020
58
Hi all

I came on here originally to ask for advice about my dad going into a care home after my mum died suddenly. Dad had pretty severe dementia although was still quite independent in respect of washing, eating, toilet, etc. After a rather disheartening battle with SS, we got him in a really good care home a few weeks ago and, aside from agitation in the evening, was settling in well.

However, last Sunday, he fell in the home and this resulted in two brain bleeds; one of which was severe. The bleed was so severe that the doctors stated that he is very unlikely to survive this and if is did, would be severely brain damaged and would need "full care". My dad being quite a private, dignified man would not have wanted what "full care" entails. In the event, he never regained consciousness and passed away early on Saturday morning after being put on an end-of-life palliative package during the week to keep him comfortable when it became clear he would not recover. He passed away very peacefully in the end.

I did manage to spend some time with him before he died, which was good (even though he wasn't conscious), but what doesn't fully stack up is the sheer number of injuries (cuts and bruises) my dad had on his head, arms and torso that were not consistent with the statement that he had a simple fall in the corridor. The care home have stated that the fall was not witnessed, which is strange in itself, because he did wander and they gave him a dose of Lorazepam a few hours beforehand. The hospital and SS have called for a Safeguarding Investigation. I visited the care home yesterday and am 100% sure that there is nothing sinister going on other than they possibly allowed him to wander unsupervised. However, where they found him was close to some stairs and I think that he went wandering and fell down the stairs (with sharp metal treads) and then crawled to where they found him. The residents have a lift and can't use the stairs but I know my dad would use the stairs.

I don't want to cause trouble for the care home but I need to know what happened.

Regards

Dave
 

Starting on a journey

Registered User
Jul 9, 2019
439
So sorry to hear your news, losing both parents in quick succession.
Unfortunately, although you probably don’t feel like it I do think your fathers death needs to be investigated. It was probably a freak accident but investigation needs to be done.
Again, sorry to hear of your loss but at least you had some time with your dad and take care of yourself as grief and loss drains you.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
13,646
South coast
Oh @DaveCr1968 , I am so sorry to hear your news

I hope the safeguarding investigation gives you some answers
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,775
South East
I too am sorry to hear about your dad , what a lot you have been through in such a short space of time . I too hope you get some answers. Take care of yourself .
 

LadyA

Registered User
Oct 19, 2009
13,637
Ireland
I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. It must have come as a terrible shock. My condolences.
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,836
So sorry to hear that @DaveCr1968. I'm glad your father's passing was peaceful and that you could be there.
I too think there needs to be a safeguarding investigation. My mother's care home has number pads for the lifts and doors to the stairs to prevent residents using them unsupervised. In her first week there mum managed to get down the stairs and out into the car park. Fortunately she was spotted before she could get any further and persuaded back in. It sounds like your dad might have done something similar.
 

Illy

Registered User
May 11, 2013
35
Manchester
Sorry to hear your sad news. Having had a bleed on the brain myself, I do know it quite often causes a person to fit. Maybe this could explain some of the injuries?
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
2,753
Essex
Hi all

I came on here originally to ask for advice about my dad going into a care home after my mum died suddenly. Dad had pretty severe dementia although was still quite independent in respect of washing, eating, toilet, etc. After a rather disheartening battle with SS, we got him in a really good care home a few weeks ago and, aside from agitation in the evening, was settling in well.

However, last Sunday, he fell in the home and this resulted in two brain bleeds; one of which was severe. The bleed was so severe that the doctors stated that he is very unlikely to survive this and if is did, would be severely brain damaged and would need "full care". My dad being quite a private, dignified man would not have wanted what "full care" entails. In the event, he never regained consciousness and passed away early on Saturday morning after being put on an end-of-life palliative package during the week to keep him comfortable when it became clear he would not recover. He passed away very peacefully in the end.

I did manage to spend some time with him before he died, which was good (even though he wasn't conscious), but what doesn't fully stack up is the sheer number of injuries (cuts and bruises) my dad had on his head, arms and torso that were not consistent with the statement that he had a simple fall in the corridor. The care home have stated that the fall was not witnessed, which is strange in itself, because he did wander and they gave him a dose of Lorazepam a few hours beforehand. The hospital and SS have called for a Safeguarding Investigation. I visited the care home yesterday and am 100% sure that there is nothing sinister going on other than they possibly allowed him to wander unsupervised. However, where they found him was close to some stairs and I think that he went wandering and fell down the stairs (with sharp metal treads) and then crawled to where they found him. The residents have a lift and can't use the stairs but I know my dad would use the stairs.

I don't want to cause trouble for the care home but I need to know what happened.

Regards

Dave
Dear @DaveCR 1968,

I'm so sorry. Your poor dad. I know his passing was peaceful but I agree with @Starting on a journey so that you get some peace of mind otherwise you will be constantly asking yourself how did he get those injuries.

Hugs

MaNaAk
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
2,753
Essex
Just noticed @Ily's reply dad had a seizure when he had his brain haemorrhage which could have caused those injuries except that dad was in a hospital bed.

MaNaAk
 

DaveCr1968

Registered User
Jul 5, 2020
58
Hi All

Thanks you all for the kind comments. The gravity of what has happened over the past 6 weeks is now beginning to set in and it is quite raw. I've lost both parents within a month.

We are pretty confident his injuries were as a result of the fall rather than a seizure. The extent of his injuries to not tie up with the hypothesis of the care home. They assumed that because he was in the corridor, that is where the whole incident took place, but there are no witnesses. I think he fell down stairs and then made it to the corridor (only about 5 yards away) and then collapsed. This fits in with there not being any evidence on the palms of his hands trying to stop himself.

We'll see what the Safeguarding team come up with. I intend putting a call in myself to ensure I am in the loop with the investigation.

Regards and thanks

Dave
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
2,753
Essex
Hi All

Thanks you all for the kind comments. The gravity of what has happened over the past 6 weeks is now beginning to set in and it is quite raw. I've lost both parents within a month.

We are pretty confident his injuries were as a result of the fall rather than a seizure. The extent of his injuries to not tie up with the hypothesis of the care home. They assumed that because he was in the corridor, that is where the whole incident took place, but there are no witnesses. I think he fell down stairs and then made it to the corridor (only about 5 yards away) and then collapsed. This fits in with there not being any evidence on the palms of his hands trying to stop himself.

We'll see what the Safeguarding team come up with. I intend putting a call in myself to ensure I am in the loop with the investigation.

Regards and thanks

Dave
Dear Dave,

I'm sorry I didn't realise you had lost your mum as well. I'm so sorry.

Hugs

MaNaAk
 

DaveCr1968

Registered User
Jul 5, 2020
58
Hi all

As an update, dad'd death was referred to the coroner, who referred it to the Public Protection Team. Thankfully, they found no evidence of criminal activity, so no forensic PM is needed. The coroner has asked for a normal PM to be carried out.

It really does not stack up with a simple fall and I've been told that they think dad may have had a fall in the home previously (they found him kneeling by his bed but with no injuries).

I've also been told that he should have been supervised at all times if he is prone to or at risk of falling and also because they gave him a dose of Lorazepam a few hours earlier, which is known to precipitate falls in the elderly.

The coroner are taking this very seriously.

Regards

Dave
 

Starting on a journey

Registered User
Jul 9, 2019
439
I am so sorry you are having to go through this.
I have dealt with the coroners on my husbands sudden death and found them caring but dedicated to finding the facts. They even sent the report to me in an envelope and said if you don’t want to have it or even look at it, don’t open it just send it back....a touch of humanity.
I have been to a court hearing on a suicide where my husband gave evidence as to state of mind...again this was respectful and asked all the questions that needed to be asked.
If the home were at fault the coroner will identify it .
I just hope you are feeling a little better in yourself.
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
63,037
69
Dundee
I’m so sorry to read of your loss @DaveCr1968. The circumstances must be making the loss even more difficult. Wishing you strength.
 

DaveCr1968

Registered User
Jul 5, 2020
58
I’m so sorry to read of your loss @DaveCr1968. The circumstances must be making the loss even more difficult. Wishing you strength.
Thanks Izzy

I don't want to hang anybody out to dry and just want answers to what happened to him. What the care home are saying simply does not make sense (to me and others) and if they have neglected their duty in relation to supervision of my dad, then they should acknowledge this and make changes so it does not happen again. It is not going to bring dad back but I need answers for some sort of closure.
 

DaveCr1968

Registered User
Jul 5, 2020
58
I am so sorry you are having to go through this.
I have dealt with the coroners on my husbands sudden death and found them caring but dedicated to finding the facts. They even sent the report to me in an envelope and said if you don’t want to have it or even look at it, don’t open it just send it back....a touch of humanity.
I have been to a court hearing on a suicide where my husband gave evidence as to state of mind...again this was respectful and asked all the questions that needed to be asked.
If the home were at fault the coroner will identify it .
I just hope you are feeling a little better in yourself.
Thanks for these words, they are very helpful. The Coroner's Office has been superb in this case and were also extremely good with mum's death a month earlier.