sad day


Registered User
Oct 9, 2003
Birmingham Hades
I am sure the consultamts do understand they have seen it all before,they can "read between the lines" and over time have aquired a skill in weighing people up.
From all the tests the patient has received before they can judge,, with what they see what ithe situation is.
I do know what you mean my wife comes over as the happy perfectly normal being and I feel like a lying louse.
Even so I am sure that you are right in thinking that only the carer can know the real pain
best wishes


Registered User
Dec 11, 2003
Tully, Qld, Australia
Dear All,

I usually have a quick chat with the Doctor before he speaks to either of my parents. Our Doctors are extremely good at seeing behind 'the mask' and really do appreciate that I don't want to discuss my parents in front of them.

Mind you, I still feel silly [and not a little cross] in front of guests who are convinced by my parents that they are 'so well and with it' and that I am making mountains out of molehills....



Registered User
Oct 23, 2003
West Sussex
Dear all, it was bitter experience that led me to writing. When Mum was first diagnosed and in deep denial, she took herself out of the assessment day care after just 3 visits and refused any further help. So, for over a year I battled on alone. Then it all went down by several notches as it does, Mum was constantly on the phone, once, in the middle of the night I had to reassure her that my just deceased cousin was not going to be buried inthe same grave as my Dad, just the same cemetary! This took over 2 hours, then she was back on the phone within half an hour having forgotton and worried about it all again. She also kept going out to the shops and collapsed a few times. She refused to take any identification with her and now could not remember her address. I was at the end of my tether as to what to do. That's when I wrote my first letter as I knew she would deny it if I said anything in front of her. I desperately was trying not to hurt her feelings you see. Love, She. XX

Nutty Nan

Registered User
Nov 2, 2003
Your lines are so real, and yet it sometimes sounds so bizarre: "not recognising" does not just apply to names and faces, but just about everything else, from their own bed and living room to local shops and their own street, neighbours and friends, customs and habits, words and gestures, dos and dont's, and their own abilities and limitations - and we end up accused as liars!
We have to hope that the professionals do 'see through it all', and it would be good if we could 'educate' the general public to stop and think before they judge, as things are not always quite what they seem ....
(Jude's idea of hitting the media may well help with this).

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