sad day

[melz]

Just thought I'd share an experience with you all. I care for mum who lives with us. She has Vas D. If you've read my threads before you'll know It hasn't been easy! This week I took her to her own estranged sister's funeral. She also had dementia, and lived in a nursing home. It was the saddest moment of my life when her only son didn't turn up to her funeral. Mum and I were in shock when the service started without her closest family. Not only that, but no leaflets were arranged, or flowers or indeed any arrangements. Her friends at the chapel had created a decent send off for her. God only knows what sad events happened to lead up to this situation. All I know is that every funeral I go to from now on, I shall be extremely glad, (if not happy!) to see people grieving and upset. When I recounted the event to a worker at the alzheimers society, she said it was so important that I recognise need for help as a carer, and ask for it so that we don't reach a terrible end such as that of my poor, dear aunty xxx

 

[rajahh]

That is very sad indeed, however they may be a very valid reason for this to have happened.

When my ex husband dies I am sure none of his children will attend his funeral, and I certainly wouldn't. In fact he may already be dead for all we know.

This may sound totally heartless but believe me it isn't.

Jeannette

 

[sistermillicent]

How sad, and how easy it would have been for you to ignore it as well, if your mum and her sister were estranged. I have often wondered as i go to funerals of my friends' parents and elderly members of my own community here whether i ought to be doing this, not being "close" family. You have made me feel that I am doing the right thing.

The AS person was right, you should be getting support and having other people involved with you, don't let you and your mum get isolated.

Jeannette, you don't sound heartless.

 

[Onlyme]

I feel funerals are a mark of respect but are to support the living therefore I would go to my friends parent's funeral as an act of support.

 

[Jess26]

I agree I have been to friends parents funerals even when I'd only met the parent once or twice. I was there to support my friends.

Sadly my half sister didn't bother to attend our mum's funeral.

 

[melz]

Thinking more about it, I do feel for my cousin and the awful circs leading to him not attending his own mother's funeral. Dementia sucks!

 

[Jessbow]

I shall be very annoyed if, when the time comes my sister in law turns up to my mothers funeral. She has no time for her in 'life' but will no doubt show up at the funeral.

I call it hypocritical.