1. Our next Q&A session is on the topic of Christmas and dementia.This time we want our Q&A to involve our resident experts, you! Share tips and advice on navigating Christmas here in this thread.

    Pop by and post your questions or if you prefer you can email your question to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.
  1. cheeky1

    cheeky1 Registered User

    Apr 3, 2013
    does anyone else get days when they just cry?I cant stop just now I now it will pass and I'll be fine.Why am I crying
    Im crying
    for my dad who Im losing bit by bit
    for the unknown journey thats to follow
    for wishing it would hurry up
    guilt for wishing it would hurry up
    guilt at not being as patient as I once was
    guilt for wishing I had my life back
    anger at my siblings who 'cant face it':confused:

    There even feel better for writing it down!!!
  2. Noorza

    Noorza Registered User

    Jun 8, 2012
    Yes I've had those days. I would be surprised if people hadn't. It's so hard. xx
  3. CollegeGirl

    CollegeGirl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2011
    North East England
    Hi cheeky

    I feel all those things at time too (apart from siblings as I don't have any!).

    You are not alone, and all those feelings are perfectly normal and common. I know it doesn't feel like it, but they are.

    Try to do something nice for yourself today, even if it's only half an hour, ten minutes even. Sit in the garden with a cuppa, give yourself a manicure (are you female? ;)), have a bubble bath.

    But if you need to cry, then cry, because it's better out than in.

  4. Heather E

    Heather E Registered User

    Dec 29, 2012
    Welshpool, powys
    Yes had many of those days... you are not alone - and yes it's always good to tell somebody how you feel or write it down ...College Girl is right get some time for you today to recharge the batteries :)
  5. rajahh

    rajahh Registered User

    Aug 29, 2008
    certainly have some of those feelings. I am caring for my husband so am more or less on my own.

    Sad is not strong enough though as a word really

  6. SallyPotter

    SallyPotter Registered User

    May 19, 2013
    frequently, I'm the same as college girl, no siblings.
    Went to see my father the other day, he thought i was his sister, i reminded him of who I was but some old 'dears' were saying to me while I was trying to talk to him that there wasn't any point in trying and he wouldn't understand.
    I miss him (and my mother, they're at the same home but kept apart as they fight) So so sad x
  7. grobertson62

    grobertson62 Registered User

    Mar 7, 2011
    Yep I did frequently have those feelings
    You are not alone
  8. Kezza44

    Kezza44 Registered User

    Aug 28, 2013
    Yes , I feel for you.

    I totally understand the sadness, frustration and anger (tears for all). Not with any person, just the situation, watching someone you love slip away. You are not alone, and try and take a step back, like others have said, just 10 mins to catch your breath can help. Just a few minutes to feel like you are coming up for air. Talking to someone and as you have done, writing down your feelings is good for the soul. What you have written has helped me too, just sharing feelings, thank you.:)

  9. julesoli

    julesoli Registered User

    Oct 17, 2010
    Dear Cheeky,

    Don't feel bad about crying, it helps a little bit to relieve the strain of caring for your loved one. I cried a lot, in fact every day, at the futility of it all. My husband, who has severe Alzheimer's, was very violent and aggressive, as the illness progressed, and having no children or any family member to help, I got the brunt of it. So I cried. And it did help (I don't know how). Thankfully he is calmer now, though his Alzheimer's has got worse. So go ahead and have a good cry and prepare yourself to face the worst. God Bless!

  10. Anongirl

    Anongirl Registered User

    Aug 8, 2012
    Good to hear I'm not alone in all those thoughts :eek:

    I should change my middle name to "guilt" xxx
  11. dippydora

    dippydora Registered User

    Apr 2, 2013
    I COULD HAVE QUITE EASILY HAVE WRITTEN THIS MYSELF......spooky really! :) Like I say...when its raining look for the rainbow, when its dark look for the stars.....it works! xxx
  12. seaurchin

    seaurchin Registered User

    Oct 24, 2009
    Hi cheeky, I cry bucket loads at times and I find that once I start its hard to stop. You are not alone in feeling like this and I reckon it's a safety valve to allow our feelings to escape a little. I force myself to think of positive things in my life which helps me to adjust my perspective for a while. Best wishes Sea
  13. rosa4077

    rosa4077 Registered User

    Jun 22, 2013
    Hi sending you a big hug xxxxxxxxx
  14. cheeky1

    cheeky1 Registered User

    Apr 3, 2013
    thanks everyone for your kind comments feeling better today.xx:):)
  15. witchpig

    witchpig Registered User

    Dec 31, 2011
    Maidstone Kent
    Yes i think everybody here has cried at some point. When i was upset the other day i was crying and my middle child asked what was wrong, before i could say anything my little nephew turns round and says shes making room for happy memories not sad ones.
    Seeing as he is only 6 i thought that was a good explianation. I dont know where he got it from but i shall always remember it when im sad.
  16. SnowLeopard17

    SnowLeopard17 Registered User

    Nov 23, 2011
    There is rarely a day goes by when I don't shed a tear. Some days I could fill our pond - yet it still remains wanting.

    There isn't always a particular trigger but they are a release even though it doesn't always feel like it.

    'The dew of compassion is a tear'..............Lord Byron

    SnowLeopard, with love x
  17. Rageddy Anne

    Rageddy Anne Registered User

    Feb 21, 2013
    I can't cry. If I started I think I could never stop. But comfort comes from who knows where, and so often just when you need it most.. Making room for happy memories is one of those . Children can be amazing. I was feeling very bleak one day but not wanting to cast any gloom on a cheerful family gathering. Suddenly a little hand was slipped into mine, no word was said, but oh, how much better I felt!

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