sad day

susan

Registered User
Aug 18, 2003
125
east sussex
Dear Sheila
- thank you - have got things sorted - well nearly - wow what a merrygo round. Thank you Chris for advice of support - have been brilliant - possible using the poem ' when he has gone'.
Am totally shattered today and tearful - think it has all caught up.
My concern today is mum, who seems to be coming to terms with events and feels 'wobbly' today.
i really need to eat now - nothing would go down earlier.

dear Kriss
Thank you - a little awol at the moment - i appreciate the words you sent and will in time get my head round all this - yes i have a brilliant man as well as 2 kids that have been so brill - what more can i ask for?
Speak soon take care all Sue
 

Sheila

Registered User
Oct 23, 2003
2,259
West Sussex
Dear Sue. my heart goes out to you as will many who have lost a dear one recently, we are all there with you in spirit my love as you complete this final stage of your loved ones earthly journey. We are here and will continue to be in the days that follow should you need us. God Bless, love She. XX
 

Chris

Registered User
May 20, 2003
243
Originally posted by susan
I still have alot of frustration at AD as i still can not draw on how dad was pre AD -
Hello Sue

Thinking of you and your Mum.

The pre AD days do come back and the not so good memories that AD brings fade - but it happens in a different way and at different times to all of us.

My Mum died on 22 Nov this year so not so long ago - after 14 years or more with MID - multi infarct dementia (or vascular dementia whatever .... ) .. for the first time in many years I 'heard' Mums voice a week or two ago, it came out of the blue - her old voice - her real one - all happy & lighthearted - it was SO comforting - even thought I knew i'd never actualy hear it again in reality - the fact I could remember it once again was lovely . I do have a very short video clip too from years ago - but wont be able to watch that just yet - if ever . It was bad enough even when I came across it & watched it when she was so affected by dementia that I was grieving for things like her voice & her advice etc etc Now I can remember the sound of her voice when she was comforting me (!) when her sister died & i know she wouldnt want me to cry now. Wont stop me but I feel her presence. As I said this takes time to happen & I still get all sorts of other feelings I wish I didnt. Like AD itself - the process is a long one and it helps to be with others in same situation.

Sorry - getting introspective - what I wanted to give was hope & say not to expect things to happen in any order . Bereavement & recovery happens but cant be predicted. Well thats my theory !!!!

Take great care - someone said to me after Mum died -

Please give yourself as much time as you need to deal with things in whatever way is right for you.

I'm still finding it useful - stops me feeling selfish if I do or dont do thngs especially now at Christmastime - if I want to stay home & 'wallow' - I will !!!! I need to do that sometimes - blow the stiff upper lip & doing things because I feel I ought. Done that long enough. I need to recharge - this is sounding awful!!!! I will start 'giving' again soon too . Will stop now - am digressing as usual.

Hope you are OK. Love Chris
 

Sheila

Registered User
Oct 23, 2003
2,259
West Sussex
Dear Chris, yes,you are so right, thinking of you this Christmas and everyone else on TP who are in our little boat this year, lotsaluv, She. XX
 
C

Chesca

Guest
Dear Chris

Ah! but you give so much - here and in your life. Why aren't you entitled to a little of the taking? - it's well your due. Remember, it's be kind to yourself time. We all contribute here, whether by sharing our own experiences, sadnesses, offering a kind word, just being there. We're all here for you and it doesn't matter what it sounds like. That it 'sounds' is very important.

You have had one hell of a time and that is not going to go away quickly, much as we would all like it so for you and others suffering bereavement of loved ones. So blub, waffle and wallow (could that be a title for a song?) - you're in the best of company here.

Wait until I get into my act! And the next few weeks may be very telling! I don't think there'll be any apologies, though, my stiff upper lip got the droop ages ago - I'll just put a red alert as warning ahead of my post?

Lots of love, snuffles. We all need you, too.
Chesca
 

gladys

Registered User
Dec 21, 2004
13
usa
Dear Sue,

My heart goes out to you and your family. I am so sorry for all of the pain you are feeling.

May the good memories sustain you through this most difficult time and know that he is in a better place, his mind and body strong and healthy.

I know how much he will be missed. May you find protection under God's wings. Please take care and call on me anytime. I will help you in any way that I can.

Love,
Gladys
 

gladys

Registered User
Dec 21, 2004
13
usa
Dear Sue,

My heart goes out to you and your family. I am so sorry for all of the pain you are feeling.

May the good memories sustain you through this most difficult time and know that he is in a better place, his mind and body strong and healthy.

I know how much he will be missed. May you find protection under God's wings. Please take care and call on me anytime. I will help you in any way that I can.

Love,
Gladys
 

susan

Registered User
Aug 18, 2003
125
east sussex
Dear Chris
Thank you for your reply when things are so fresh in your mind - have just found out from dad's certificate that he had multi - infarct dementia as well as AD. Dad had been suffering with this cruel disease for about 10 years.
Met with the minister today, as dad is going back home - 25 miles away, we did not know him - he was lovely - a family man with a soft voice and sense of humour - something we needed for dad!!
I feel very tired but happy with all that has been arranged.
Mum still in denial, but am seeing her beginning to struggle with coping.
We are using the poem listed earlier - a huge thank you and big hug for that information - i was totally lost at that stage - sorry into big hugs at the moment.

Dear Sheila - thank you and funnily enough like an omen i adopted a grandad at the week-end - found an old man down the road in the bitterly cold when i was walking the dogs - he was nearly falling over - asked if he was ok and he said 'no i am lost - luckily hubby was with me - he stayed with him i went and got the car - dog not amused!!! the rec was in sight!! Hubby drove him round to no avail - so took him home and warmed him up - found address in his wallet - how many times that had happened to dad i don't recall - but someone always took him home!!
Sadly he had recently moved here with his wife and she passed away 2 weeks ago - i have a young 82 year old friend who lives 3 doors to him, loves to mother - used to child mind for me and between us we are keeping an eye.
Dear Gladys
Thank you for your message.
To all on TP have a good xmas, thinking of you all
Love Sue