1. susan

    susan Registered User

    Aug 18, 2003
    125
    east sussex
    Dear all
    Just what i needed for xmas - dad got chest infection last sunday and sadly passed away today after all his fighting for the last few years. Not a good night to post but am struggling with emotions at this time. A happy release but also a very sad time - speak soon Sue
     
  2. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Dear Susan, so very sorry to hear your Dad has passed away. Take heart that he is not suffering now. This will be a hard time for you, please accept my sincere condolances and please post when you can. You may find our posting (sticky) "When a loved one dies" helpful to you. If we can help in any way, or if you just want to talk please post. Thinking of you, love She. XX
     
  3. barraf

    barraf Registered User

    Mar 27, 2004
    308
    Huddersfield
    Dear Susan

    I am so sorry to hear about your Dad, even though as you say a happy release, it doesn't help the feeling of pain and loss that is present when you lose a loved one.

    The loss of a parent is always extremely heart breaking because it is a link with the past broken forever.

    Please keep on posting as we are all thinking of you and wishing you well.

    Barraf
     
  4. Chris

    Chris Registered User

    May 20, 2003
    243
    I'm so sorry Susan - lost my Mum on 22 November so feel for you.

    Keep in touch . Take Care . Someone said "Be kind to yourself" to me - it helped somehow - so .... Be kind to yourself.

    Thinking of you . Chris
     
  5. susan

    susan Registered User

    Aug 18, 2003
    125
    east sussex
    Dear sheila and Barraf
    Sleep will not come easy tonight - i will keep posting - give me a few days as everthing is so raw - think it is never going to happen - thank you to everyone that has helped me in the past few years i feel you are all friends - mum yet to accept has dad has gone - the red wine has is getting the better of me speak sensibly tomorrow love sue
     
  6. susan

    susan Registered User

    Aug 18, 2003
    125
    east sussex
    Dear Chris
    Thank you - it came through after i had posted - hard as it is i feel for all that go through it - seems unreal at the moment and i am feelng very very sorry for myself and mum. Son will not accept it although daughter is brill - came home rom uni early to be with me -hubby driving sister back home - not safe to drie tonight! All i wanted was dad out of his shell of a life and now he has gone i'm useless a blubbering wreck excuse me i can't handle it bye for now sue
     
  7. Chris

    Chris Registered User

    May 20, 2003
    243
    Oh Sue - feel our arms around you , take some rest , a little sleep will come and I promise you will feel stronger soon. Love from Chris
     
  8. Chesca

    Chesca Guest

    Dear Sue

    So sad to hear about your Dad and the grief you are all feeling; your poor, poor Mum. Hold on to one another and to your good memories, the awful one's will hopefully fade given time.

    You have all been through so very much sadness and pain I think a good old blubbering is quite in order, don't you. I've had a little blub too reading your post. We're all with you.

    Be gentle with yourself

    kindest of wishes to you and all of your family
    Chesca
     
  9. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Dear Sue,hope you did get some sleep, I know it won't be easy to do. Remember, those we love are never far away because they are always in our hearts. Love She. XX
     
  10. susan

    susan Registered User

    Aug 18, 2003
    125
    east sussex
    Dear all
    Thank you for your support - have slept a lot today and am feeling a bit more with it. Dad went very peacefully with mum - he waited to be alone with her, had a sleep together and then went, i was so glad as they were as they should be - together.
    Thank you all for your support over the last 2 years - i will keep in touch.
    Had a laugh with hubby today apparently i sat on back door step last night - door wide open and -2 centigrade - i was looking at a raised garden dad built for me about 7 years ago - hubby was freezing in lounge and all i said was - it's nice out here!! I spent 1/2 night in bed freezing cold and got up at 5.30am!!
    Thinking of all of you - you have kept me sane - well nearly - always was a bit off the track!!
    Love Sue
     
  11. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    4,348
    Birmingham Hades
    Susan
    some one once said to me when someone dies what can you say you can only make noises.
    It is so true.
    I am thinking of you Mum,I dread the day when I have to be alone like her,I have Sons and she has you so you will help her get by.
    I'm making noises and talking c--p but I am thinking of you all
    Norman
     
  12. susan

    susan Registered User

    Aug 18, 2003
    125
    east sussex
    Dear Norman
    believe me you will never be alone - it is hard but i have just completed another bawling session and feel better for it.
    Mum at present is stronger than me?
    I still have alot of frustration at AD as i still can not draw on how dad was pre AD -
    I will stand by your motto - day by day as it is as necessary now as before love sue
     
  13. susan

    susan Registered User

    Aug 18, 2003
    125
    east sussex
    Dear Sheila
    where do i find sticky - when you lose a loved one - have tried and can;'t find it thanks sue
     
  14. Kriss

    Kriss Registered User

    May 20, 2004
    513
    Shropshire
    Dear Susan

    we lost Dad 2 weeks before Christmas only 2 years ago and I am feeling all your emotions with you. Hold tight to the memory of Mum and Dad together at the end it's the 1 picture that is so clear in my mind and always will be.

    You'll have better days, though some will be pretty murky, but you'll get through. Wish we could do more from here for you but sounds like you have a good man to give you a hug when you need it.

    I hope you get some sleep, the worlds a hard enough place to face without being exhausted. Go and stand by the garden he built and have a chat with him cos he's there you know - but for goodness sake put a coat on first!

    Thinking of you

    Kriss
     
  15. Chris

    Chris Registered User

    May 20, 2003
    243
    Finding "when you lose a loved one"

    Hello Sue
    You can find the thread "When you lose a loved one" in the Forum called RESOURCES - this you will find in the main index which you get to by clicking on ALZHEIEMRS TALKING POINT which is in BLUE at the top of this page.

    This Discussion Forum is getting quite big & along with the main website of the Alzheimer's Society is a fantastic resource.

    I guess because AD or any of the other dementias goes on so long & touches every part of lives - thats why help like this is so BIG !!!!
     
  16. Chris

    Chris Registered User

    May 20, 2003
    243
    For info on the early days of bereavement

    Recently i was experiencing some odd feelings - the following websites gave info that made me realise it was the effects of a recent bereavement. All the websites say sometnng a little different - the list of POEMS in the last one listed will I hope have somethng for everyone.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/bereavement/psych_effects_adults.shtml

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/onelife/personal/bereavement/coping.shtml

    http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/info/help/bereav/index.asp

    http://www.helptheaged.org.uk/AdviceInfo/InfoPoint/_Bereavement/Section+A.htm

    POEMS http://www.ifishoulddie.co.uk/poems.htm
     
  17. JulianneGreen

    JulianneGreen Registered User

    Dec 9, 2004
    23
    Hornchurch
    I'm so sorry, my thoughts go out to you.

    I am new here so i knew little of your story, and i wish i could offer more support. I'l be praying for you over christmas, its an awful time to lose a loved one.

    Take care x
     
  18. susan

    susan Registered User

    Aug 18, 2003
    125
    east sussex
    Dear Chris
    Thank you for the info - i have been on the page - really helpful as i have never had to do this before. The poems were lovely and have printed them off for mum to browse. Tomorrow we have the registering to do and arranging as dad sadly went 'out of hours' and the GP would not come and sign the certificate - all by 5 mins too late!! So we had to have him moved locally and then on to our choice - not a good start at a difficult time.
    I have also been really out of sorts and reading the effects of bereavement helped me - i thought i was ill - no - just good old shock reaction!
    I really feel mean posting as everyone winds up for xmas and please folks make sure you make the most of what you have got - time pasts too quickly for all of us.
    Still blubbering when ever i have to speak to someone face to face ok when i'm on the phone - but am smiling between and beginning to remember the good times although it's a good 7years ago.
    Mum still not releasing her emotions - not hit home yet - trouble is when you have spent 4 1/2 years in a house by yourself and you go home - nothing has changed - i know it will catch up with her - just waiting for the 'when'.
    Oh warbling again - thank you all Sue
     
  19. susan

    susan Registered User

    Aug 18, 2003
    125
    east sussex
    Dear Julianne
    Thank you for your support - i won't go through the history, but welcome you to the site- it is invaluable - say what you like and not offend anyone - and people reply with care and concern - as well as releasing their own frustrations with some wonderful humour - which we all need.
    Take care sue x
     
  20. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Chris, thanks for posting info to link, heavy weekend here didn't manage to get on line at all.XX Susan, hope things are coming together for the days to follow, remember we are here for you won't you. Love She.XX
     

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