Sad day has arrived

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by WIFE, Jun 10, 2014.

  1. WIFE

    WIFE Registered User

    May 23, 2014
    857
    WEST SUSSEX
    For the last five days my husband has been unable to recognise me. He is comfortable in my presence which is comforting but does not know who I am, why I am there or what I want! Has asked the Carers multiple times - "who is she?" They just say to me "its the progression of increasing dementia". I know that but it is still sad.

    Today back to the snakes under the bed which I expect heralds another UTI for him to cope with, poor love.
     
  2. Merrymaid

    Merrymaid Registered User

    Feb 21, 2014
    305
    Oh dear this heartbreaking for you, I dread when this time will come with my Mum. Draw strength from the fact that he is comfortable when you are near long may it continue for you.
     
  3. meme

    meme Registered User

    Aug 29, 2011
    1,955
    Female
    London
    how very very sad and hurtful for you...that is something I always dreaded with my mother but she knew me right to the end.
     
  4. Canadian Joanne

    Canadian Joanne Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 8, 2005
    16,093
    Toronto, Canada
    However prepared we might think we are, it's always heartbreaking when we actually experience those moments.

    At least your husband finds comfort in your presence. My mother used to refer to me as her friend, when she was still able to speak.
     
  5. Early riser

    Early riser Registered User

    Mar 16, 2014
    23
    Yorkshire
    Don't give up.
    My husband has been in a nursing home for 2 years. Many months ago that very sad day arrived when he stopped recognising me, but like your husband he felt comfortable with me even though after a few minutes he'd forgotten anyone was there!
    On my last 2 visits he's been so excited and happy when I've arrived and reaches out to hold my hand.
    Does he know who I am? I don't know and I'm not going to spoil it by asking him.
    I'm just so happy to have him back, even though I know it won't be for long.
    Best wishes
     
  6. WIFE

    WIFE Registered User

    May 23, 2014
    857
    WEST SUSSEX
    Hello Early Riser - me too. These days I find myself pacing the kitchen at 5 a.m. filling time until I can go to the NH. I am so pleased for you that your Husband is so delighted to see you. Would he be able to tell you that he knows who you are? I feel so sad and frustrated but know I can do nothing about it so just hold his hand and make inane conversation hoping that somehow it invades his fog and maybe there will be some slight recognition.

    Thanks for your comments. Best wishes
     
  7. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    6,968
    Brixham Devon
    When Pete actually said the words 'who are you' it cut me to the core. I felt physically sick and dizzy. I don't know why as Pete, by that time, hadn't known me as his wife for some time.

    Just to let you know I understand the shock when this happens

    Take care

    Lyn T
     
  8. Rathbone

    Rathbone Registered User

    May 17, 2014
    2,264
    Female
    West Sussex
    Sending loving thoughts X:)
     
  9. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,343
    Kent
    Hello WIFE

    All might not be lost. Please don`t give up .

    There was a period my husband didn`t know me but later on as his dementia progressed, I think he did. He seldom used my name and I didn`t put him on the spot to test him, but he always had a lovely smile for me and allowed close contact.
     
  10. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    6,968
    Brixham Devon
    Sylvia

    Pete is giving me more smiles at the moment. Little ones as though he recognises my voice.

    Chin up Wife- believe me though, I know how difficult things are

    Lyn T XX
     
  11. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,343
    Kent
    Something to be thankful for Lyn. At least Pete knows you`re with him. It does`t make it much easier, just a little.
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.