Hi, I am new to the group, and just wanted to post because I am feeling really sad at the moment. I live next door to my parents and have health problems of my own. Two years ago mum was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and had a hysterectomy. Thankfully the results came back that she had stage 1 cancer, She also has severe osteoarthritis and has been displaying mild symptoms of dementia, I believe, for over 10 years. There has been a significant deterioration over the last two years. Although, in some aspects her memory can be extremely good, she tends to develop false memories - they may be grounded in fact but it seems that they become embellished and develop into new memories that, to her mind, are the real ones. Mum has also, on occasions, accused us of changing things without her knowledge (we haven't), such as her wheelchair, cup and glass. She cannot remember days, even with two calendars that she has to turn over every day. All these problems are very tiring to cope with, however, the thing that makes me so sad is how she behaves to my dad, putting him down all the time and saying some really horrible things. She will push all his buttons and then when he says something, she then takes it out of context and tells everyone how unkind dad is to her. Mum's mother had dementia and she always said that would be her worst fear, and she doesn't believe there is anything wrong with her. A few of our friends have had parents diagnosed with dementia and mum believes that she is an expert on how to deal with dementia because of her mother. I know some of these friends have been offended by the things mum has said to them about it. I am just getting so tired. Since mum's operation I have taken over all mum and dad's care, from 8am to 11.30pm every day, and when I get home I find it difficult to rest because I never know when I am going to be called back. Ideally, mum should go to the doctors, both for her memory and to find ways of helping with the pain, but she refuses to go. I don't feel able to force her because she is very stubborn and I know that she would never forgive me. It is impossible to reason with mum. it generally feels as though she is speaking at you, rather than with you. I know that I just have to carry on, and I will do, but it is so nice to know that there is somewhere I can just give vent to my feelings, and to know that I am not alone. Thank you.