Rushing

[Artytone]

Hello,
I am new to all this and I would like to get advice. My
wife has early stage dementia, and there are two problems that I do not know how to deal with. She is always in a hurry and I have real difficulty slowing her down. This evening was the worst she has been and we were getting ready to take our dog for a walk. I went to the toilet and when I came down stairs she was virtually ready to go. I told her to slow down as I needed to put my shoes and coat on. She said she would and as I was getting ready I heard her open the front door I kept telling her to slow down and wait, but as I was closing the door she went out of the gate and walked with the dog straight in front of a car., even though I was screaming at her to stop. I don't know how he stopped but thankfully he did. She has never done anything this dangerous before.
The other major problem is that I often have great difficulty in stopping her from eating and drinking tea.
Any advice.
Artytone

 

[lollyc]

Hello,
I am new to all this and I would like to get advice. My
wife has early stage dementia, and there are two problems that I do not know how to deal with. She is always in a hurry and I have real difficulty slowing her down. This evening was the worst she has been and we were getting ready to take our dog for a walk. I went to the toilet and when I came down stairs she was virtually ready to go. I told her to slow down as I needed to put my shoes and coat on. She said she would and as I was getting ready I heard her open the front door I kept telling her to slow down and wait, but as I was closing the door she went out of the gate and walked with the dog straight in front of a car., even though I was screaming at her to stop. I don't know how he stopped but thankfully he did. She has never done anything this dangerous before.
The other major problem is that I often have great difficulty in stopping her from eating and drinking tea.
Any advice.
Artytone

Hello @Artytone,
I wonder if it is worth talking to her GP? It sounds as if these behaviours are obsessive (eating/drinking) and slightly manic (rushing), both of which may be due to anxiety. Many here have had some success with Mirtazipine for anxiety / depression.
My mother recently went through a phase of non-stop talking - hour, after hour, after hour - and it was literally like a mania. Nothing would break the flow for any length of time, and it was getting to the point that she would struggle to stop long enough to eat a meal. Her medications have now been tweaked, and everything is much calmer.

Just a thought: could you put a bolt on the gate (may not be practical if you need a postman/visitors to use it), to slow her down, if it happens again? You can get something called a pig bolt - a normal slide bolt, with a plate that that drops behind the bolt when shot home. You have to line up the plate to open the bolt - which might be to tricky for your wife to work out, and allow you catch up.

If sure others will be along with suggestions soon.

 

[Dunroamin]

This resonates with me and I do exactly the same apparently. My OH copes by getting himself ready first i.e. toilet, shoes, keys etc.

When you have dementia the thought systems seem to change and whilst you, as carer, are running through a mental list of things to do, "we" are ready and impatient to get on with things.

 

[Artytone]

Hello @Artytone,
I wonder if it is worth talking to her GP? It sounds as if these behaviours are obsessive (eating/drinking) and slightly manic (rushing), both of which may be due to anxiety. Many here have had some success with Mirtazipine for anxiety / depression.
My mother recently went through a phase of non-stop talking - hour, after hour, after hour - and it was literally like a mania. Nothing would break the flow for any length of time, and it was getting to the point that she would struggle to stop long enough to eat a meal. Her medications have now been tweaked, and everything is much calmer.

Just a thought: could you put a bolt on the gate (may not be practical if you need a postman/visitors to use it), to slow her down, if it happens again? You can get something called a pig bolt - a normal slide bolt, with a plate that that drops behind the bolt when shot home. You have to line up the plate to open the bolt - which might be to tricky for your wife to work out, and allow you catch up.

If sure others will be along with suggestions soon.

Thanks. The pig bolt sounds a good idea.

 

[Artytone]

This resonates with me and I do exactly the same apparently. My OH copes by getting himself ready first i.e. toilet, shoes, keys etc.

When you have dementia the thought systems seem to change and whilst you, as carer, are running through a mental list of things to do, "we" are ready and impatient to get on with things.

Thank you. You have made me feel less alone. I do try to get ready first, but when she decides to go she is too fast for me.