Rufusing a Bath

[Sunflower10]

Morning all

I am after some advice with regard to my mum. I haven't posted for a while and things have been ok but we are struggling with the whole bathing situation. Mum is now doubly incontinent and is prone to water infections so I feel it is imperative that she has regular baths but she refuses point blank. The morning carers will ask her if she wants a bath to which she says No (her language is now very poor and only really says yes & no) If they run her a bath she will go stiff and un-cooperative and refuse to set foot in the bath. I manage to bath her a couple of times a week but I literally almost have to force her into the bath, and I know the carers wouldn't force mum. Once in she is fine and we have an electric seat which aids her getting out but it is almost as though before she gets in, she is afraid of the water. When I try to wash her hair in the bath she then has another panic as she doesn't like the water over her face.

We have thought about trying a shower instead but she finds water over her head disorientating and I have tried to get her to stand in the bath whilst I shower her down with a hand held shower but she now isn't that steady to stand in the bath.

Has anyone had a similar problem of a sudden adversion to the bath and how this has been overcome.

Any suggestions would be greatly received.

Hx

 

[nicoise]

Dear Sunflower,

This bathing issue seems to be a constant theme.

I guess it is a case of you trying to change your ideas to match hers, rather than the other way round, to avoid the conflict.

It may be that you have your Mum's confidence with washing a couple of times a week, and may have to settle for that, with strip washes (or whatever) in between.

I appreciate that the incontinence makes that really difficult and your concerns about cleanliness and infection are very valid, but it just may be that the previous way of doing things has passed. Or it just may be a phase.

Try a search on TP under washing/bathing/showering to see if any previous threads throw up any new ideas for you to try.

Once again this area just highlights the changes that dementia makes, and how logical argument just won't make any difference.

It is difficult, and I feel for you with this problem.
Best wishes to finding a solution you can both live with

 

[lin1]

Oh yes yes yes . and many who read your post will be nodding their heads

Like your mum , my mum seemed to develope a fear of water at around the same time as losing the ability to get in the bath with assistance and also thought it was rude to be undressed . Bathtimes were very fraught.
Showering was not an option as like your mum mine hated water going over her.

Its perfectly fine to have wash downs instead of bathing/showering, even if doubly incontinent..
I did this with my mum for several years . Till I got a wheeled commode thatwent over the loo that meant washing private parts much easier I sat mum on the loo to wash her down ,
I also draped mum in a bath sheet ,it helpedto keep her warm as well as. making her feel better bout being undressed

Then on here I read about products called, No Rince . Mum and I became huge fans on the first try . Available online only.
Personally I found the body bath rather than the body wash better for mum as you add it to a small amount of warm water , they do a shanpoo , much more too

Its the drying with a towel that does the cleaning , so u need to spend more time gently rubbing hair than you normally Would, I also used their Periwash when mum had an occaisional poo accident

I hope you find this helpful.

 

[kazza73]

Not something we ever encountered with mum when she was at home. A bath was part of her morning routine, my dad would fill the bath and help her in and then she would 'wallow' (mum's description) for a while so dad could get himself washed and dressed etc and then dad would help her get out and dried.
Our problem is in a way the opposite of yours in that since mum has been in the assessment unit and hospital a daily bath isn't an option and I think my mum really misses that part of her 'normal' routine.
K xx

 

[kazza73]

Not something we ever encountered with mum when she was at home. A bath was part of her morning routine, my dad would fill the bath and help her in and then she would 'wallow' (mum's description) for a while so dad could get himself washed and dressed etc and then dad would help her get out and dried.
Our problem is in a way the opposite of yours in that since mum has been in the assessment unit and hospital a daily bath isn't an option and I think my mum really misses that part of her 'normal' routine.
K xx

 

[Haylett]

Sunflower, I think this is quite a common problem and I'd agree with everything that Lin1 suggests. Mum developed a rabid fear of water - water over her face, sitting in the bath - you name it, she hated it and I felt really mean imposing it when it became really necessary. We had the sit and rise - great help from OT but nothing really worked. So we went to the commode option over the loo and I'd make sure that the bathroom was warm and cosy; that Mum was wrapped in a warm towel while I wash bits selectively. Hair was either the sort of no rinse type of shampoo (hospitals also have something similar in a shower cap that you put on the head, and needs no water, only friction to activate the gel). I also used the foam no soap type wash as that seemed better for the tender skin around genital areas etc. Face wash was just a warm flannel and I tried to come at it sideways so as not to appear threatening. (I also kneel down because I'm quite tall!)

Recently, we've managed to convert Mum's tiny en-suite to a wetroom thanks to a wonderful OT who was prepared to help us with funding and who found a firm who could do it (our plumber wouldn't touch it); and I can manage to give her a shower once a week. Mum sits on a commode in the shower - so even if there are accidents, I can clean them up easily. There are a few screams but she's now getting used to it and even at the end, I think, enjoys the feeling of being clean and warm. I get drenched usually though have managed to improve that bit, but gently soaping Mum down first then showering it off, so she's not subjected to constant jets of water. Don't worry if your mother hits out - mine does too and that's quite normal. I tried using one of those caps that stops the water from cascading down the face (a bit like a frisbee - you can get them for chidren - possibly Boots?) - but have abandoned that as it seems to be easier to hold a face-cloth over her forehead while I shampoo her hair with the other hand.

UTIs - I thought hygiene was ultra important when Mum contracted UTIs frequently - but the DN told me that hydration was the key. So if you can persuade your Mum to drink little and often throughout the day, you might find that UTIs reduce a bit. Good luck.

 

[Christin]

Hello Sunflower

I think this refusal to bathe is quite common. My FIL would always say no when asked if he wanted a shower, but we usually managed to persuade him but saying his hair needed a good wash and that the best way to do this was with him sitting in the bath. We had a bath stool from the OT dept which meant he wasn't completely in the water and once in he was perfectly happy. He always said how good it felt once he was actually being showered.

There is an AS factsheet which may offer some help

http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/document_pdf.php?documentID=155


Best wishes

 

[sistermillicent]

Hi Sunflower,
I am 56 and don't like water over my head, never have, and if it goes in my ear I am likely to pass out, I have to be very careful.

My mum didn't wash her hair for a year or so, she was also reluctant to bath, but we managed once in a blue moon. At one stage we realised that she didn't know how to take her clothes off, strange though that may seem, it didn't fit in with the rest of her physical abilities which were good at the time. Now she is further on in her Alzheimers and she is much more keen on bathing again, but needs a lot of help. I would totally go with what Lin says though.

There are hairdressers who are trained to do the hair of people with dementia, mum has recently had hair cuts and hair washes in the nursing home she goes to for respite. It is lovely to see her looking good. I know there was a hairdresser on here a while back who worked from the local hospital, maybe there is one near you? Mum's one in the care home must be absolutely brilliant to get mum to agree to it.

Pippa

 

[Pacucho]

Hi

I have just picked up your thread. I cared for my mum for many years and I recognise the situation you are facing as my mum also refused to step into the bath. Also, she was double incontinent and prone to infections.

The best approach that worked for me was based around keeping my mum's anguish to a minimum when helping her have a wash. The following is a summary of the routine that worked best for me:

(a) Sit mum on commode in bathroom to have a wash
(b) Make sure bathroom is nice and warm and not stuffy, and also well lit but not too bright
(c) Have prepared warm bath and hand towels to put around her when sitting on commode to help relax her.
(d) When undressing my mum we try to ensure she is covered at all times, so she does not feel so vulnerable. But we do it in stages, such as the socks when washing the feet and once washed we put a clean pair on straight away before trying the top.
(e) Start with washing the hands first in a warm bowl of water to try and get her to relax, and then the feet. When washing the hands I encourage my mum to take the face cloth for her to wash her face, or I offer her the favourite moisturiser to put on her face.
(f) Some days I will find my mum will not want to wash certain parts of the body, and so you bear this in mind for the next day and try and do these. If some days my mum does not want a wash then that is fine as well. I HAVE LEARNT YOU HAVE TO GO WITH THE FLOW.
(g) Finally, the routine (i.e. order and way in which we help to wash my mum) I have devised to help my mum have a wash we follow every day, so at least there is a chance she will follow what is going on.

I hope some of these tips come in handy. They may not work all of the time but you may find it makes life somewhat easier.
Regards,

Paco

 

[Jess26]

oh the dreaded washing

mum lives with my brother, she has a carer 3 times a day. But unfortunately the morning call isn't until 9.00-9.30 mum gets up at 7ish. My brother has to tell her at least 6 times each morning not to get dressed as the carer needs to wash/shower her, often unsuccessfully. She will insist she has had a shower,(wetroom floor is completely dry) we can't work out if this is because she genuinely thinks she has or it's an avoidance technique. On the days she does have a shower she enjoys it but this only happens once or twice every 10 days.

 

[chucky]

Hi, i thought i'd tell you a funny story about me showering dad. At first i found it really embarrasing, so my plan was executed like this. Dad got in walk in shower, sat on the seat, stripped of all clothes except his pants. I washed his body front and back then his legs. I stepped out the shower and told dad to take off his pants, wash his bits, then put the towel over his lap to conserve his dignity and i would wash his feet last. Closed the curtain and kept talking telling him to remember to wash front and back. Ok dad are you done, yes came the reply, opened the curtain and there was dad sitting in all his glory with the towel covering his feet!! I laughed so much, the expression on his face, poor soul couldnt understand why i was laughing. Priceless.!

 

[Sunflower10]

Thank you all for your suggestions. It is always reassuring to read that others have been in the same boat. I will definately be trying some of your ideas. I am hoping that this too will be another phase which we will work through and she may at some stage be less frightened of the water.

Thank you all once again.