Roses Have Thorns

Louise

Registered User
Dec 19, 2004
22
PEMBROKESHIRE
__ ROSE HAVE THORNS__

AGE> SIMPLY A WAY OF MEASURING TIME
FIRE> IT KEEPS US WARM,BUT, IF YOU GET TO CLOSE IT BURNS
NETTLES> BOIL THEM UP, YOU CAN EAT THEM, THEY'RE GOOD FOR YOU FULL OF VITS, TOUCH A NETTLE GENTLY AND IT WILL STING YOU
TWO SIDES TO EVERY COIN
DIFFERENT MEANINGS TO EVERY WORD
BEHIND THE WALL IS SOMETHING ELSE
I LIKE CHOCOLATE> TOO MUCH MAKES YOU FAT
TIME TICKS ON> YOU CAN'T TURN IT BACK
I'M GOING BLIND> YET MY HEARING IS GETTING BETTER
I'M GETTING OLD> NOW I KNOW MORE
I LOVE LIFE> I'M AFRAID OF DYING
I'M CONFUSED> WHY?

I'm 75 yrs of age and i'm ready to go home to see my mother- she's waiting for me, with my dinner ready and i'm going to see her.
I'm going to see her. I'm taking a photo of myself when i was about 5yrs old, she'll be so pleased to see me.
I need to get there now, so don't try and stop me, because if you do i'll get really cross.
You think i'm mad and i've lost my marbles.
But, i know why i'm going! Because i can't come back
I CAN'T BE ALL THAT I'VE BEEN BEFORE and I CAN'T BE ALL THAT YOU WANT ME TO BE.
I'M going, i'm on a mission, and when i get out of the door i'm on my way. I'm running now , i need to get there quickly, because i'm frightened. I don't understand why people are trying to stop me, but, i wish somebody could.
If only i could get back to where i started from, maybe, i could remember where i belong. My reasoning has gone and i don't know where i want to go or where i'm coming from.
I can't get dressed in the morning because i don't know what to wear. I don't know where i'm going or for what reason,so, why should i bother.
Are my clothes alright? I don't know. Somebody tell me what to wear! Somebody dress me! I can't do this anymore.
What are these things in my mouth, they feel like aliens, i think i'll get rid of these > SO I DO!!!
I don't want to eat, why are people feeding me all the time.
'****** off!!' i say 'What are you doing?'
'Leave me alone, who the hell do you think you are?!!!'

Nobody is listening to me now, i just can't tell them what i want and if i try to, nobody understands. They won't take me home, and that is all i want, to go home.
Thay tell me what to do, but they don't hear me. No one understands why i need to see my mother. I do, i think they're scared now. Scared i might get lost or hurt myself, so thay don't know what to do.

I am lost and so are they. WE HAVE A PROBLEM!!!!!

I am getting worse. I can't remember my husbands name or why i'm married to him. I can't remember my childrens names or my grandchildren, who all mean't so much to me.
I was proud, and took great care of my appearance, but now, that means so little to me. I can't remember what matches or looks good. In fact i can't remember much at all about anything.

People say things to me, i can't understand what they say. I listen but it won't go in, so than i can't reply.
I can smile, i know their faces, they seem familiar, but i'm not sure who they are.
I know i know them, because they're affectionate towards me and they say nice things that make me smile and even laugh. Sometimes i even sing to them. But i wish i could find something, someone, anything, but i can't. I'm incapable of relating to anything or anyone.

I don't want a bath. I don't want my hair done. I don't want to be dressed or undressed. I don't want food or drink. But i still want to go home.

The others they just want me to stay where i am> SO I DO
The others just want me to be safe where i am> SO I DO
The others don't really know me anymore because
i've changed> SO I DO

Do you know what i am ?????????????

I AM A PERSON WITH ALZHEIMER'S, WHO CANNOT MAKE DECISIONS, WHO CANNOT THINK, WHO CANNOT REMEMBER OR REASON, BUT, I CAN STILL RECOGNISE!!!!
SO, DON'T FEEL BAD ABOUT ME GOING INTO A NURSING HOME, BECAUSE, IF I COULD THINK, REMEMBER, AND MAKE DECISIONS I WOULD HAVE DONE EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID, AND FELT EXACTLY THE SAME WAY. WE ARE HUMAN, ALL OF US, IF YOU CAN'T GET BACK TO WHERE YOU CAME FROM BECAUSE YOU CAN'T GO BACK, THEN ALL YOU CAN DO IS GO FORTH,
JUST LIKE ME!!!!!!!!!

Written by Louise Dec 2004
 

Louise

Registered User
Dec 19, 2004
22
PEMBROKESHIRE
Brucie,
thankyou, i've been very hesitant about posting this thread, i really don't want to upset anyone. But when we are in the woods and can't see anything but the trees, its really difficult to step outside and look in. Just lately i feel like i've been on a voyage of discovery
Quote' When we walk to the edge of all the light we have
and take the step into the darkness of the unknown,
we must believe that one of two things must happen:
there will be something solid for us to stand on, or we
will be taught to fly.' by Patrick Overton.
 

Sheila

Registered User
Oct 23, 2003
2,259
West Sussex
Dear Louise, your powers of observation and your ability to write it down are wonderful. You said so much about how the sufferer feels in the way they would say it if they could. Well done, I am sure it will help us all to see through their eyes a little more. Love She. XX
 

barraf

Registered User
Mar 27, 2004
308
Huddersfield
Dear Louise

What a beautiful piece, a true observance of an Alzheimer's sufferer.

Do you mind if I print it and take it to my support group, where I am sure it would be well received.

Barraf
 

Louise

Registered User
Dec 19, 2004
22
PEMBROKESHIRE
Barraf,
By all means, if you think it will help with the support group, use it. To take a moment and see through eyes of the one who cannot say, may just give some answers and understanding
Let me know how it goes
Take care love Louise xxx