Rollercoaster time

[CWR]

What I find really difficult is the rollercoaster of emotions, not even day to day but hour to hour. I wake up fine, then in the afternoon I get teary, then I'm ok, or vice versa. There's no logic to it.
Which makes it really hard to know what to do about work. I won't know if I'm ready or not till I go back, but I dont want to go back and find myself teary. Conversely, I don't want to keep postponing it. I find it really confusing; at one stage I can feel that I'm doing ok, then I remember something mum said and that's me. I have had 2 close family bereavements before, but although both were close in terms of their relationship to me ( father, aunt), I was not emotionally close to either, so this is new to me. I don't know if it would be a good idea to see about counselling at this stage or if it's too early.
Also, as well as the emotional rollercoaster, I find myself in a limbo as regards my future. Having been mum's carer for several years, I miss that role, even tho' I found it stressful. To be honest, part of me is quite at a loss. I have lost one role, and not really settled into any other one yet.
Sorry for rambling on, but I find this whole scenario very unsettling. I am not as distraught as I thought I would be, but I do feel adrift. What advice would anyone give? Thanks in advance. I know that people here will understand the mixed emotions that I have now, relief that I dont have to worry about mum, missing her at the same time,and those emotions jumbling around in my head at the same time.

 

[Moose1966]

What I find really difficult is the rollercoaster of emotions, not even day to day but hour to hour. I wake up fine, then in the afternoon I get teary, then I'm ok, or vice versa. There's no logic to it.
Which makes it really hard to know what to do about work. I won't know if I'm ready or not till I go back, but I dont want to go back and find myself teary. Conversely, I don't want to keep postponing it. I find it really confusing; at one stage I can feel that I'm doing ok, then I remember something mum said and that's me. I have had 2 close family bereavements before, but although both were close in terms of their relationship to me ( father, aunt), I was not emotionally close to either, so this is new to me. I don't know if it would be a good idea to see about counselling at this stage or if it's too early.
Also, as well as the emotional rollercoaster, I find myself in a limbo as regards my future. Having been mum's carer for several years, I miss that role, even tho' I found it stressful. To be honest, part of me is quite at a loss. I have lost one role, and not really settled into any other one yet.
Sorry for rambling on, but I find this whole scenario very unsettling. I am not as distraught as I thought I would be, but I do feel adrift. What advice would anyone give? Thanks in advance. I know that people here will understand the mixed emotions that I have now, relief that I dont have to worry about mum, missing her at the same time,and those emotions jumbling around in my head at the same time.

Hello , I’m a stage behind you my mum is still battling this journey has been EOL for months and in NH bedridden and totally dependent on 24 hour care . I visit daily as there are no other relatives and mum and I are / were close . My days and nights are sometimes consumed with worry , guilt and what ifs , I also jump ahead and imagine my life without her . I admit the relief for her to be at peace is one I look forward to but like you I know I will be totally lost , my kids 24 and 21 are looking to move out with partners and I’m so happy for them but being mum to them is my escape . I plan to take on a challenge and learn something very new ! What it will be I don’t know maybe you could look into doing something that will give you a goal and purpose . It’s easy for me to advise I’m not there yet who knows how I will cope . Keep being positive and look forward.

 

[Splashing About]

My advice would be speak to someone at work about a phased return. I suspect the normality of work could anchor you but the phased bit will give you space

 

[DesperateofDevon]

I am one month in the bereavement process, I’m numb then hyper- emotional!
as I’m self employed in going to ease myself back into work 3 mornings a week & build up
I’m lucky that I’m able to do that I know, but I’m lost as to how I can start working again. Creating & designing process seems to be alien at the moment but I’ve had a month out - funeral etc &Christmas & new year. I’m still exhausted & the thought of normal daily life seems alien.

My inner bear just wants to hibernate!
I do sympathise

it’s my birthday next weekend & my husband & daughter keep asking me what I’d like to do?
Hibernation isn’t an option - so I’m off to sort Aged Mother out ; at least I can rely on Mother to forget.

I find that I don’t know who I am anymore - it’s been years of slowly losing my identity & confidence. Maybe I need to reinvent myself a la Madonna; without the conical bra!!!!

 

[CWR]

My advice would be speak to someone at work about a phased return. I suspect the normality of work could anchor you but the phased bit will give you space

Actually I am fortunate insofar as I work part-time. I am hoping to return on a half day to give me a better idea how I will get on.

My advice would be speak to someone at work about a phased return. I suspect the normality of work could anchor you but the phased bit will give you space

 

[CWR]

My advice would be speak to someone at work about a phased return. I suspect the normality of work could anchor you but the phased bit will give you space

I went back, still a bit wobbly, especially since I work with the public, and some know that I was looking after mum, so they ask. I am seeing about counselling, tho', and everyone has been very supportive.

 

[canary]

Im glad to hear that you are doing OK.
It will take a while, though, so be gentle with yourself and dont expect too much.