Roll on 2021

[Andreabr]

This is my wife's account so hope you don't mind me posting
My mother in-law passed away after having an accident in the hospital in February after being given a section 3 . My wife and i both have LPA and we are hoping that her bungalow will eventually be sold before the end of the year (still trying to finish sorting out her belongings).
The reason for this posting is now my mother.
She got married 20 years again (4th marriage) and moved to the other side of the country. Anyway long story short , had a call in April 2019 to say that she was getting a divorce (police were called and he was removed from the property for his own safety). Sold their family home and informed me that she was coming back to my area. Found her a rental property last November. The first day she arrived back the police were called as she was out in the street accusing my family of stealing money (forgot to add she is profoundly deaf with a speech impediment) Anyway managed to calm her down and took her home. I also found the money in a sandwich box inside a carrier bag (over12k)
Then the odd behavior started, which we took as an issue caused by her hearing and not being able to make a cohesive sentence. After that the police calls started with my mother walking the streets in the early hours knocking on doors. Then she got aggressive at the GP's which ended with me getting a call and taking her to hospital on a medical assessment ward. After 7 days. She was given a section 2 and moved to the same ward that my mother in-law was in when she had her accident. They have now given her a section 3 since she has been in there. Due to the fact that she has tried to commit suicide three times, by trying to climb out of a 2nd floor window, smashed a mirror and cut her wrists and swallowed her hearing aids (which she had to have a procedure to remove them). Then to top it all had a call to say that she had been sexually inappropriate with two males, along with walking into other patients rooms late at night. All this at 81 years of age
On to my question
I also have an LPA for my mother. What should i do with her rented property and possessions. There is no way i can take her possessions into my own home, due to the sheer volume that she has. She moved from a 5 bed detached house into a 2 bedroom bungalow. The spare room is stacked floor to ceiling with boxes along with the attic (as this was only supposed to be temporary situation). Some of her possessions have been willed to my sons and my wife (i have got an African grey parrot left to me, which she gave away to friends of the family within a month of moving back here )
So don't know what i can/should do.
Sorry its so long
Steve

 

[Louise7]

@Andreabr It's good to hear that your mother is now in a safe place, you must be relieved. As she is on a section 3 is the likely outcome that she will not be able to return home now? Based on her background I would assume so but has that been communicated to you yet? I think realistically, if your mother will not be returning home then the best thing to do is to give notice on her rental property as otherwise she will continue to be liable for paying rent, utility bills etc and as attorney you need to act in her best interests with regards to financial matters (assuming you have financial LPA).

In terms of her belongings, it sounds like you will need to be a bit ruthless with the clearing out, although you will obviously want to keep the items that have been willed to the family. When mum went into a home and her house was sold it was a big job emptying it so we did it in stages, one room at a time, and it was a case of sorting everything out into charity shop, rubbish or keep. My sister and I only kept what we could fit in our own homes, so things like photos, some ornaments that had been in the family for years, and a couple of small pieces of furniture. Everything else had to go. It somehow felt wrong getting rid of someone's possessions when they are still alive but it needed to be done so we just had to bite the bullet. Hopefully other family members will be able to give you a hand, or you could just go through everything to identify what you want to keep and then call in a house clearance firm to take the rest away, and some charities offer this service too.

 

[Andreabr]

Thank you for answering.
Asked the question about the chances of her returning home and the reply was that she will possibly not be returning within the next 6 months.
To be honest i cant see her returning home in my opinion because of her actions. I am also aware to the fact that if i let the bungalow go she would not have a home to come home to
A question for you and others when your mum went into a home did she go in with any of her personal belongings?

 

[Louise7]

A question for you and others when your mum went into a home did she go in with any of her personal belongings?

Not many. Things can tend to go missing/get broken in care homes so we just took in some family photos (in plastic, not glass frames) and also made the room look 'homely' with a throw and some strings of bunting and some lovely 'fake' flowers to brighten it up. Some homes are fine with small items of furniture being taken in but the room was already nicely furnished and there wasn't a lot of room for more furniture so we didn't bother.

 

[Andreabr]

Not many. Things can tend to go missing/get broken in care homes so we just took in some family photos (in plastic, not glass frames) and also made the room look 'homely' with a throw and some strings of bunting and some lovely 'fake' flowers to brighten it up. Some homes are fine with small items of furniture being taken in but the room was already nicely furnished and there wasn't a lot of room for more furniture so we didn't bother.

thank you

 

[canary]

If you dont want to get rid of everything because you are unsure about whether she will come home (although, TBH I think it unlikely from what you have written), then you could go through everything, get rid of broken stuff and things that are obviously rubbish and then put the rest into storage. Im sure it will be cheaper than the rent etc on the bungalow and you can then go through it all once the situation is clearer.

 

[Sarasa]

Hi @Andreabr , I agree with @Louise7 that it is extremely unlikely that your mother will return home. It sounds as though she needed to be in a care home for at least a year, therefore giving notice on it sounds a sensible thing to do. As @canary says maybe do a preliminary sort through her things, getting rid of things that you know she will no longer need. I moved mum to a care home and got charities to take some of the furniture and took ornaments, crockery etc to charity shops. With the pandemic that might be tricky. I work in a charity bookshop and when we were open we were awash with donations, and I guess when things open up again the same thing will happen. I also got rid of stuff via freecycle, but again not sure what restrictions are with using that at the moment. I think storage is a useful stop gap while you decide what to do. We had some of my son's stuff in storage after he moved out. You can always go and pick up a box at a time to go through.
When mum went into care I just took in enough clothes, a few photos etc to ensure her room looked homely and she had enough to wear. I gradually added more as I cleared her flat for sale and saw what she needed. For instance her linen basket was useful to encourage her not to put dirty clothes back in her drawers!

 

[Andreabr]

Thank you all
Having a family meeting tonight with our sons to discuss. (going to have a meal out, as we live in Wales so not in lockdown. So we can meet up there but not in our homes)