Rock and a hard place?

foxhound

Registered User
Jun 26, 2008
187
Finally threw in the towel and had my mother admitted to p-g ward on Monday. She had been utterly miserable and confused, with hardly any sleep, for the previous 3 days.

On Monday and y'day I had a much better feel about the ward than on the previous admisssion - smiling staff, actually going about nursing, mother less distressed and pretty coherent if a bit sad.

In an effort to show confidence in the nurses I refrained from phoning to see how she was getting on y'day evening or this morning.

Today 3.30pm - bl**dy awful. Nurses all in goldfish bowl, auxiliaries pretty low-grade (one or two smiley it must be said).

Mother wearing pyjama trousers - result of food all over skirt - never happens at home if carefully helped to eat. More seriously, helped her to the loo - found her NOT wearing Tena pants I had delivered, but strapped up variety put on WAY too tight, tights twisted, small cut on hand.

No comment from nurses on how cut happened, but mother said she "had had a fight last night".

I asked for a time to be de-briefed following ward round, told everyone was very busy and I might get a call from a doctor (wow) or even an offer of a real meeting (super-wow) to discuss. I'm afraid I got pretty snappish - just short, no loss of temper, but not very helpful.

The plan was for a short stay, followed by a short respite stay in care home, but the lack of communication makes me so frightened that they will keep her on and on, condition slipping away all the time.

I want her home - but I need some rest first and I'm not going to get that while she is miserable and badly looked after and I am not properly kept in the loop.

Will try to speak to sympathetic SW tomorrow, but I know she has a very busy day.

B****r it all. Advice please.
 

TinaT

Registered User
Sep 27, 2006
7,095
Bolton
Read your post with a familiar twisting in my stomach as I remembered very similar situations I had encountered when my husband was on an assessment ward.

My strong advice is to keep a daily record if you can, then after a few days ask to speak to the PALS service and the Matron or Senior Manager. Neither you, nor anyone else should be made to feel a nuisance/stupid/fussy. The Government are pushing through Carer's rights and these are slowly filterning down through the Mental Health Trusts.

Don't be intimidated (I know this is easy to say and hard to maintain) but stand up for your relative as you would hope someone would stand up for you in a similar situation.

Thinking of you and hoping that you can get some satisfaction.

xxTinaT
 

foxhound

Registered User
Jun 26, 2008
187
Margarita - p-g was short for psycho-geriatric (ie an asessment ward)

No, not expecting SW today (I know she really is busy), but I will have to resist going nuclear if I don't get a proper de-brief from the ward round.
 

foxhound

Registered User
Jun 26, 2008
187
Fast moving or what?

Tunred up on the ward at 3.30. Old mother was utterly dejected - first words "I MUST leave here tomorrow". Wheeled over to nurses station for de-brief, was told they couldn't talk as they had a total bed crisis.

Told them I would solve it by bringing the old girl home. To my amazement, they jumped at the idea.

She's now home, rather brought down in overall condition but calm and very happy to be back. Sure it might be a tough ride but I think I've done the right thing.

Other good news is that she was signed out by a new consultant - very nice indeed - who we MIGHT be able to switch to - also SW appeared, now really revved up for us - let's hope this marks a truning point. All digits crossed!!!
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
70,391
Kent
Well done

I think you`ve done the right thing too. If there is a total bed crisis, yor mother probably would not have been getting the attention she needs.
Good luck with the new consultant.:)
 

Lynne

Registered User
Jun 3, 2005
3,433
Suffolk,England
Hello Foxhound

No wonderful helpful suggestions to offer I'm afraid, but just popping in to say well done, and hope you get the strength from somewhere to make it work (again).

Now your SW is 'revved up' a bit, are you able to get any additional help at home? Even if is just for domestic jobs like washing up, hoovering & laundry (which most people wouldn't get anyone else to do for them) ANYthing which lightens your load is valuable help.

Best wishes
 

TinaT

Registered User
Sep 27, 2006
7,095
Bolton
I'm so very glad for your mum - well done. My very best wishes to you in getting all the help you will need.


xxTinaT
 

foxhound

Registered User
Jun 26, 2008
187
Lynne - you must be psychic! I'm fair at caring, an excellent cook, but totally useless at housework - that's exactly what I'm aiming to use the home carers for (rather cunningly).