1. HillyBilly

    HillyBilly Registered User

    Dec 21, 2015
    1,948
    Ireland
    Thinking of you Aisling x
     
  2. Aisling

    Aisling Registered User

    Dec 5, 2015
    1,807
    Ireland

    Molly and Hilly Billy,

    As always thank you. Yes my friend is still around TG. Getting a bit complicated cos I don't think I am being fair to the friendship. Have totally stopped calling casually to people. Too upsetting for me. I asked a relation for help today re reviving flowers on Ts grave. He is in cemetery every day and is good with displays. He told me to buy new flowers. Am not making sense but I was hurt. I am ashamed at how I feel.

    We have a cemetery Mass on Sunday and am dreading it. I just hope all invisibles will just stay away from me. I don't trust myself around them anymore and T wouldn't want me to let myself down. Imagine standing near relations who have absolutely no time for me anymore?

    A male supportive friend cannot visit me anymore because his wife doesn't think it is appropriate. Apparently I am vulnerable.

    Tomorrow is Ts birthday. Help me get through it please. Tears falling.....

    Aisling
     
  3. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,212
    Female
    Dundee
    Oh Aisling I'm so sorry that things are so hard for you. T's birthday will be difficult for ypu. Wishing you strength.
     
  4. Aisling

    Aisling Registered User

    Dec 5, 2015
    1,807
    Ireland

    Thank you Izzy. I get lonely and approach the odd relation / invisible only to come away hurt and miserable. When will I learn?? People are so good on TP

    Aisling xx
     
  5. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,098
    Kent
    Thinking of you on T`s birthday Aisling.

    I light a candle at home when it`s Dhiren`s birthday . Would that help you?
     
  6. Aisling

    Aisling Registered User

    Dec 5, 2015
    1,807
    Ireland
    Definitely a good idea Grainne. Am a great believer in candles.

    On friends now, sprained my ankle last night!!! Not the end of the world.

    Aisling xx
     
  7. jorgieporgie

    jorgieporgie Registered User

    Mar 2, 2016
    1,985
    YORKSHIRE
    Aisling the first year will always be the hardest, birthday's, anniversary's etc. Just spend the day remember all the good birthday's you and T shared and be easy on yourself.
    Rest that ankle, how did you manage to do that.
    Extra warm hugs sent xxx
     
  8. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    13,478
    Ireland
    I also love candles, Aisling, but don't keep them for occasions. There's something very comforting about candles. It's almost like company that doesn't talk back to you! :D In Winter, I often have five or six lighting in the living room. Makes it very cozy too, you'd be surprised how much heat they throw out!

    Special occasions will always be hard. Especially, I've found, as others have moved on, and no longer think of it. Or they might, but it doesn't mean as much to them. I always take my mum out for coffee or lunch on my dad's birthday and their wedding anniversary, and take flowers to his grave for her as she's not very mobile. I take myself out for William's special days, and buy myself some flowers. So, treat yourself, if you can, Aisling, in honour of T's birthday.
     
  9. MollyD

    MollyD Registered User

    Mar 27, 2016
    1,696
    Ireland
    Thinking of you today, Aisling.

    Happy Birthday, dear Tim.

    The candle idea is beautiful.

    Imagine each of us, in a circle, holding a candle in honour of Tim and surrounding you with love and support.

    Another tough day for you, so remember we are here.

    Hugs xx
     
  10. Aisling

    Aisling Registered User

    Dec 5, 2015
    1,807
    Ireland

    Ankle? Slipped on pile of books in middle of night!! Couldn't figure if bone broken or sprain!! Didn't want to have a holiday in casualty for a day. Put up with pain till 6.30am and then drove carefully to a friend who was a firefighter / paramedic and he sorted me out. Bad sprain!! Might have to get a sling for it!!

    Look after yourself.

    Aisling xx
     
  11. Aisling

    Aisling Registered User

    Dec 5, 2015
    1,807
    Ireland
    What a beautiful image. I can see it, feel the warmth and support. Friend became my doctor today!! Both of us minding one ankle!!! Mine! Arrived this evening after work with more stuff for ankle and fish and chips for me.

    Got an unsigned note In letterbox today telling me cemetery Mass is on Sunday!! Sure I know that!!

    Hold on to the idea that strength creeps up on us when we least expect it. I believe that the universe will look after us. Moments of peace will come to all of us PG.

    Aisling xx
     
  12. Aisling

    Aisling Registered User

    Dec 5, 2015
    1,807
    Ireland
    Hi everyone,

    Thanks for all your support. Good news. I managed the birthday, wedding anniversary and the Cemetary Mass without cracking up!! Latter was today. A friend cooked me lunch today.

    Sending support to everyone,

    Aisling xx
     
  13. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,098
    Kent
    Well done Aisling. :)
     
  14. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    13,478
    Ireland
    Very well done indeed! Good for you!
     
  15. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,212
    Female
    Dundee
    Well done Aisling.
     
  16. jaymor

    jaymor Volunteer Moderator

    Jul 14, 2006
    12,403
    Female
    England
    That's good, it's small steps Aisling and you are making them. Well done.
     
  17. MollyD

    MollyD Registered User

    Mar 27, 2016
    1,696
    Ireland
    Really pleased to read this, Aisling. Keep doing what you're doing.

    Hope you enjoyed the lunch too ☺.

    Warm hugs xxx
     
  18. Aisling

    Aisling Registered User

    Dec 5, 2015
    1,807
    Ireland

    Thank you Grainne.

    Xx
     
  19. Aisling

    Aisling Registered User

    Dec 5, 2015
    1,807
    Ireland
    Thank you. Lashing rain so Mass was held in church. Packed to the rafters and crowd outside. My sister was there and we couldn't find each other. We forgot to switch fones on after service. No song of invisibles TG. At least I didn't see any of them so my nerves were spared from standing up!!

    Aisling xx
     
  20. Aisling

    Aisling Registered User

    Dec 5, 2015
    1,807
    Ireland
    Izzy and Jarmor, thank you very much.

    Aisling xx
     

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