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Discussion in 'After dementia — dealing with loss' started by Aisling, Jun 13, 2017.
Thinking of you Aisling x
Molly and Hilly Billy,
As always thank you. Yes my friend is still around TG. Getting a bit complicated cos I don't think I am being fair to the friendship. Have totally stopped calling casually to people. Too upsetting for me. I asked a relation for help today re reviving flowers on Ts grave. He is in cemetery every day and is good with displays. He told me to buy new flowers. Am not making sense but I was hurt. I am ashamed at how I feel.
We have a cemetery Mass on Sunday and am dreading it. I just hope all invisibles will just stay away from me. I don't trust myself around them anymore and T wouldn't want me to let myself down. Imagine standing near relations who have absolutely no time for me anymore?
A male supportive friend cannot visit me anymore because his wife doesn't think it is appropriate. Apparently I am vulnerable.
Tomorrow is Ts birthday. Help me get through it please. Tears falling.....
Oh Aisling I'm so sorry that things are so hard for you. T's birthday will be difficult for ypu. Wishing you strength.
Thank you Izzy. I get lonely and approach the odd relation / invisible only to come away hurt and miserable. When will I learn?? People are so good on TP
Thinking of you on T`s birthday Aisling.
I light a candle at home when it`s Dhiren`s birthday . Would that help you?
Definitely a good idea Grainne. Am a great believer in candles.
On friends now, sprained my ankle last night!!! Not the end of the world.
Aisling the first year will always be the hardest, birthday's, anniversary's etc. Just spend the day remember all the good birthday's you and T shared and be easy on yourself.
Rest that ankle, how did you manage to do that.
Extra warm hugs sent xxx
I also love candles, Aisling, but don't keep them for occasions. There's something very comforting about candles. It's almost like company that doesn't talk back to you! In Winter, I often have five or six lighting in the living room. Makes it very cozy too, you'd be surprised how much heat they throw out!
Special occasions will always be hard. Especially, I've found, as others have moved on, and no longer think of it. Or they might, but it doesn't mean as much to them. I always take my mum out for coffee or lunch on my dad's birthday and their wedding anniversary, and take flowers to his grave for her as she's not very mobile. I take myself out for William's special days, and buy myself some flowers. So, treat yourself, if you can, Aisling, in honour of T's birthday.
Thinking of you today, Aisling.
Happy Birthday, dear Tim.
The candle idea is beautiful.
Imagine each of us, in a circle, holding a candle in honour of Tim and surrounding you with love and support.
Another tough day for you, so remember we are here.
Ankle? Slipped on pile of books in middle of night!! Couldn't figure if bone broken or sprain!! Didn't want to have a holiday in casualty for a day. Put up with pain till 6.30am and then drove carefully to a friend who was a firefighter / paramedic and he sorted me out. Bad sprain!! Might have to get a sling for it!!
Look after yourself.
What a beautiful image. I can see it, feel the warmth and support. Friend became my doctor today!! Both of us minding one ankle!!! Mine! Arrived this evening after work with more stuff for ankle and fish and chips for me.
Got an unsigned note In letterbox today telling me cemetery Mass is on Sunday!! Sure I know that!!
Hold on to the idea that strength creeps up on us when we least expect it. I believe that the universe will look after us. Moments of peace will come to all of us PG.
Thanks for all your support. Good news. I managed the birthday, wedding anniversary and the Cemetary Mass without cracking up!! Latter was today. A friend cooked me lunch today.
Sending support to everyone,
Well done Aisling.
Very well done indeed! Good for you!
Well done Aisling.
That's good, it's small steps Aisling and you are making them. Well done.
Really pleased to read this, Aisling. Keep doing what you're doing.
Hope you enjoyed the lunch too ☺.
Warm hugs xxx
Thank you Grainne.
Thank you. Lashing rain so Mass was held in church. Packed to the rafters and crowd outside. My sister was there and we couldn't find each other. We forgot to switch fones on after service. No song of invisibles TG. At least I didn't see any of them so my nerves were spared from standing up!!
Izzy and Jarmor, thank you very much.