1. MollyD

    MollyD Registered User

    Mar 27, 2016
    1,696
    Ireland
    Morning Aisling. Did you sleep? It's sunny here today, I hope some of it is shining on your plot of the Island too. Hug x
     
  2. Casbow

    Casbow Registered User

    Sep 3, 2013
    989
    Colchester
    Hello Aisling. I have been so wrapped up in my own problems that this is the first time I have read your posts. So sorry to hear the news about your husband and wish I had been there to send some support. I really hope you are seeing the light at the top of the ladder now. And that you are feeling more able to cope. It will take a lot of time but hopefully you will be able to treat each day as it comes ,as a new day, that may be better than those before. Hope you get appointment soon and it goes well for you. A big hug to you.xxxx
     
  3. rosy18

    rosy18 Registered User

    Jul 23, 2016
    1,279
    Female
    Blackpool
    That was a brilliant newsflash Aisling Phone calls not easy to make but give yourself a pat on the back.
    I hope today is at least an ok day for you and the sun is shining like it is here.xxxx
     
  4. Aisling

    Aisling Registered User

    Dec 5, 2015
    1,807
    Ireland
    Hi everyone. My doctor contacted two different areas searching for a psychriatrist for me. One group got back to me and to my horror they were the group of psychriasts who death with Tim. I was told they know me and could help me. It is a team effort working in communities. With T I got nothing but aggravation from them . They were useless. I have no intention of going anywhere near them.

    I want a one to one appointment with a psycHriast over a few sessions. Am going back to my GP next week to discus this issue with him.

    Aisling
     
  5. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    13,508
    Ireland
    Oh gosh! How insensitive! I hope your doctor can get you someone else.
     
  6. Lavender45

    Lavender45 Registered User

    Jun 7, 2015
    1,598
    Liverpool
    I second Lady A, that's incredibly insensitive. My fingers are crossed that your GP can find one to one alternative support ASAP. X
     
  7. jorgieporgie

    jorgieporgie Registered User

    Mar 2, 2016
    1,985
    YORKSHIRE
    Keep fighting Aisling for what you want, I agree how insensitive. Can you not ask for a call of your Gp today so you don't have to wait another week. Extra warm hugs sent your way x
     
  8. MollyD

    MollyD Registered User

    Mar 27, 2016
    1,696
    Ireland
    Sending hugs, Aisling. Xxx
     
  9. Aisling

    Aisling Registered User

    Dec 5, 2015
    1,807
    Ireland
    Wow I wish you all lived near me. You are incredible. Strange things happen sometimes. I found an article I wrote on bereavement years ago. I had forgotten about it. It was published in a magazine! Found it when looking for tax book.

    Will go back to my own GP this week PG and he will get me on track. The locum was brilliant and he tried his best. He wasn't to know about the " cowboy" outfit who were involved with T. Just ticking boxes and useless. Doctors trying to contact them when T was in hospital with no success. Now I know that psy care in my area is useless. I would not take a sick mouse near them!!

    Am now rambling. I have pondered and pondered............ I know I have been upset about people who are not there for me anymore. Calling an odd time to some but no joy.i can sense atmosphere like a magnet!! Tough. Wishing that nice things would happen.

    Have decided that I need to face my reality. My lifelong partner has died. I just know that he is happy now and wouldn't want me to be so devastated so here goes with my plan of action........ Comments, advice welcome.

    App with GP. Acceptance of my anxiety and depression. Discuss wit doc on what meds will help me. Am not scared of taking meds. I take them for a psysical reason so will take them for my mind too.

    Accept that I am now on my own and stop tormenting myself wishing for the impossible. For whatever reason people have hurt me. Not intentially I am sure but flip it I am tired making excuses, allowances for other people. Rant, rant.....

    Listen to my own body and mind and take my time.

    I have two good friends who visit every so often. Another one who takes good care of me too. It's just that I am a stubborn mule who finds if difficult to shout help. I can't be tormenting people every day. Yes stupid I know cos if anyone needed my help I would be there in a heartbeat. Then you, my TP friends, what can I say?

    Sending you all blessing, love and most of all hope.

    Aisling xx
     
  10. jorgieporgie

    jorgieporgie Registered User

    Mar 2, 2016
    1,985
    YORKSHIRE
    Oh Aisling what a positive post from you, it was so nice to read. We are all on the same path and there is nothing that we can do but try and make our time here as pleasant or as miserable as possible and I have decided its going to be latter.
    Lets do this together, we are fortunate that we have made so many new friends on TP and I think I will always be posting as these people have got me through and I do feel like its a little family or as good as one.
    Onwards and upwards Aisling xxxx
     
  11. MollyD

    MollyD Registered User

    Mar 27, 2016
    1,696
    Ireland
    Sending hugs, Aisling. Xx
     
  12. Aisling

    Aisling Registered User

    Dec 5, 2015
    1,807
    Ireland
    Thank you Jorgie and Molly. Am feeling better and more objective at present. It may not last but it is fine for now. I am angry but anger is good too. In my opinion there will come a time when in order to get justice and proper care for people with Dementia, carers will have to demand proper care for them. It is not right that vulnerable people are ignored by health boards/ departments. It appears to be easy to leave the caring to families who will become stressed out and in many cases burned out. In the latter scenario, carers will continue to struggle. Is this fair?

    In my country we have " Fair Deal" a nursing home loan....... Am dealing with it at present and I have no idea what the word " fair" means in this context!!

    I won't ramble on and on...... But am determined to raise awareness on this terrible disease. I will work on it!!

    My grandchildren are coming to see me this week. They want to bring something to Grandad's grave. Another difficult step for them and me but we will manage it.

    Am really hoping for more sunshine.

    Aisling xxx
     
  13. MollyD

    MollyD Registered User

    Mar 27, 2016
    1,696
    Ireland
    Oh Aisling, another difficult step having your grandchildren visit T's grave. I do hope it helps you all in the long run.

    Great to hear you feel more positive, as you say, take each day as it comes.

    It'll be as high as 27° on the Island today. 'They' say. It's lovely here so far, hope it is there too.

    Sending sunny hugs xxx
     
  14. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    13,508
    Ireland
    You are sounding more determined, Aisling. Good to hear. Yes, it will be hard to visit your husband's grave with the grandchlidren. But it's another step along the way forward. Well done you.

    I hope too you will give some thought to joining us in Kilkenny for the meet up in September, even for a short while? And you Molly?
     
  15. caqqufa

    caqqufa Registered User

    Jun 4, 2016
    142
    Dear Aisling -just been going through this thread and it seems our lives are almost running to a parallel. My husband died a month before, on the 28th January. It seems we are going through very similar emotions too and I can identify with a lot of what you have expressed.
    Yes my head was all over the place especially having to deal with the unpleasant form filling etc, which I did on 'autopilot'. Then reality starts to sink in but we are still in denial + the accumulated anger at the system or lack of it. My sleep pattern was erratic but then, it had been so for sooo looong it was not likely to fall into place overnight! In truth there was no sleeping pattern at all. First few days kept the same pattern practically and even slept during the day when I felt the need. I would sit down for a cup of tea/coffee at 11 in the morning and just fall asleep. I realised it was needed and did not fight it. Slept when sleep came. Gradually the pattern is falling into place and though I cannot sleep early I am managing a good six hour stretch. I am not rushing myself to get back to 'normal'. We were so busy looking after everything that it feels unreal not having to rush to do whatever. It takes time. Everyone deals with his/her own grief in his/her own way. As it was pointed out to me on TP grief does not go away. I still cry when the wave hits and probably will be crying for much longer too. I loved him a lot so I will be crying a lot too.
    In my humble opinion, you don't strike me as needing psychiatric care, you are making a lot of sense. A psychologist may be able to help you with the roller coaster of emotions you are going through and s/he would suggest a psychiatrist if needed. But then I always tried to avoid falling in the vicious circle of medication.
    I too would like to do something about the inadequate system of care for persons with dementia . But I feel it would be better to wait until I feel stronger, meantime am creating a file with all relevant points.
    I am writing this in the kindest of tones and hope you take it in the right meaning too.
    xxxx
     
  16. Aisling

    Aisling Registered User

    Dec 5, 2015
    1,807
    Ireland
    I don't know. Am just going from day to day now and can be knocked sideways with migraine when least expected.
    Aisling xx
     
  17. Aisling

    Aisling Registered User

    Dec 5, 2015
    1,807
    Ireland
    Thank you so much Caqqufa. I agree with you, we need time to get stronger. Your story echoes mine. Thank you for taking time to contact me. I have episodes of depression during my life and meds have helped me. Lately it seemed to have devoured me... hence my panic. Getting a handle on it now and going to work with my GP. I would really like you to stay in touch with me please.

    Aisling xxx
     
  18. Aisling

    Aisling Registered User

    Dec 5, 2015
    1,807
    Ireland
    Lady A, when and where are you meeting in Kilkenny in September please?

    Aisling
     
  19. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,439
    Female
    Dundee
  20. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    13,508
    Ireland
    Thanks Izzy. I've been rushing around all day, and working outside.
    Briefly, it's the 26/27 September, the hotel is the River court Hotel, which is right in the town centre, behind Kilkenny Castle, lots of cafes, shops etc within walking distance from there.
     

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