1. MollyD

    MollyD Registered User

    Mar 27, 2016
    1,696
    Ireland
    Morning Aisling ☺.

    Lovely to read your post. Sorting out an appt for your NCT is impressive!

    All the best on your trip to buy that delicious cake and I do hope your two friends understand and listen to where you are at. Hope too that time with them gives you relaxed respite from struggling. I'm delighted to read they're visiting.

    Lol, if your dog cleans the house, let me know his tactics, I'd like to teach my lil dog to do the same. Or to at least pick up after herself, hoover hairs up, put toys away...:rolleyes:

    In reality, I'd be lost without her presence and her little Jack Russell ways.

    The weather is bleak enough here, hope you have a bit of sunshine there.

    Get all the rest you need, and what Saffie suggested is great advice (for everyone... me, you, him, her, anyone), just deal with the minute we are in now.

    Hugs xxx
     
  2. jorgieporgie

    jorgieporgie Registered User

    Mar 2, 2016
    1,985
    YORKSHIRE
    I echo the same Aisling well done! Enjoy the visit from your Friends and the cake.
    Class your self like a new seed that as been planted, waiting to grow and bloom into a beautiful flower. It takes time but it eventually gets there:) Virtual warm hugs sent x
     
  3. HillyBilly

    HillyBilly Registered User

    Dec 21, 2015
    1,948
    Ireland
    I too am just now catching up Aisling.

    I breathed a huge sigh of relief on your behalf when I read about your understanding and compassionate GP. Well done you.

    Lots of love to you x
     
  4. Aisling

    Aisling Registered User

    Dec 5, 2015
    1,807
    Ireland
    R.i.P

    Friends last night were great. Talked till late hours and yes cake was good. Today the exhaustion hit me...... I have done nothing except rest, eat and read. I now feel guilty when I look around at the state of my house!!! Be great if the "shoemakers fairies" could visit me overnight.... Wistful thinking..... Ah well the positive thing is I have a clear path to the fridge.

    No word about psy appointment yet.

    Other posts have talked about forgiving people. In my opinion this is important. I actually pray for people who have hurt me but I am also learning to look after myself. I am not going to put myself in any situation that will stress me out. I will be busy or can't go. Will potitely refuse and then " let the chips fall wherever"

    I was so angry with the 2 people who started to text etc minutes after T died. Now I realise they meant well and wanted to tell other family members so they could arrive in hospital for prayers!! I still think they could have left the room while doing so but I suppose everyone is not as sensitive as I am . Still " water under the bridge now"

    Does anyone know when is the appropriate time to start thinking about memorial cards? I know it is what suits the individual but any general ideas?

    I still have more legal stuff to complete. The sitting room floor is sinking! Yes sinking! I think I posted that the " juices" were rotting!! It is the wooden beams underneath floor!! I can't think of the word

    A huge thanks to all of you who are supporting me.

    Aisling xxx
     
  5. Lavender45

    Lavender45 Registered User

    Jun 7, 2015
    1,598
    Liverpool
    Sorry Aisling I don't know about memorial cards so cannot help there. Sinking floor joists sounds pretty scary and not what you need. Do as much each day as you want to or do nothing, there's no right or wrong. One poster pointed out that dust for example is merely protecting what's underneath. That was brilliant news for me! Such luck, I was adding protection to everything in the house
    and not even knowing it.

    I'm glad the time spent with your friends was enjoyable and wish you many more of the same. I suspect you are right about forgiving, I'm appallingly bad at it. I'm a little ashamed to say I bare a grudge like there is no tomorrow, a trait I definitely get from my mum. Oh dear! Xxx
     
  6. Aisling

    Aisling Registered User

    Dec 5, 2015
    1,807
    Ireland

    Hi Lavender,

    That's the word..joists. I can't imagine you bearing a grudge, you remember things. I remember things too

    My house is over a hundred years old so anything could be happening!!

    Aisling xx
     
  7. 2jays

    2jays Registered User

    Jun 4, 2010
    11,598
    West Midlands
    Having been down that deep dark hole.... a few times.... knowing that whilst I'm down there, I'm still trying to come across as understanding my situation, and be upbeat.... but not really...

    I hear you - or I assume I do

    I would like to share with you my ladder

    It's not easy climbing.... if it helps to know if you get stuck, there is always someone holding your hand tight, sharing biscuits, wine, a hug....
     

    Attached Files:

  8. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    13,509
    Ireland
    I got William's memory cards done straight away, Aisling, because his family needed to take a lot back to the US with them, as they were having a Memorial Service for him there. I went to a printer he had always a couple of days after he died, and they did them for me within a few days. I think traditionally, here, most people get them done shortly before the first anniversary, and send a memory card with an acknowledgment card for any cards/condolence letters received and to any relatives/friends you think would like one. To be honest with you, though, in your situation, that would be around Christmas, and Christmas is going to be hard enough. If I were you, I'd get them done maybe around September/October. Or, leave them until after Christmas, closer to the anniversary. xx
     
  9. Aisling

    Aisling Registered User

    Dec 5, 2015
    1,807
    Ireland

    Thank you 2jays. The ladder is a great idea. At present there is no
    light at the top of my ladder! Virtual hugs are great.

    Aisling xx
     
  10. rosy18

    rosy18 Registered User

    Jul 23, 2016
    1,279
    Female
    Blackpool
    I've just caught up with your post Aisling so firstly I want to say how sorry I am to have read about the loss of your beloved husband.
    When you lose a soul mate the pain is just so awful. When I lost my husband 20 yrs ago I thought I would never get over it. I haven't I've just learned how to cope and I'm convinced the only way is to talk to let it all out so I am so pleased you talked to the GP who sounded wonderful and recognised your need for help.To go to your GP showed great strength and now your feet are on the first rung of the ladder, and your TP family are right there behind you offering you support.
    Sending you warm (((hugs)))xx
     
  11. 2jays

    2jays Registered User

    Jun 4, 2010
    11,598
    West Midlands
    That light is there I promise

    The ladder is steep, some of the rungs are so hard to get to, but I promise they are not impossible to climb.... it just takes as long as it needs to take, which can seem to take for ever, but at times, a glint of light will flash, and that will help you to the next step.

    There will/may be times the lower rungs rush up to smother you, that's ok, not great, but it's ok to take a step back. You will see the top of the ladder eventually.

    It's not easy. It's not impossible.

    Holding your hand tight every step of the way xxxxx
     
  12. MollyD

    MollyD Registered User

    Mar 27, 2016
    1,696
    Ireland
    Lovely to read your friends' visit was good, Aisling. And the cake .

    Thinking of you, whichever rung you're on, sending a hug x
     
  13. jorgieporgie

    jorgieporgie Registered User

    Mar 2, 2016
    1,985
    YORKSHIRE
    Oh glad you had a nice time with friends Aisling, another big step. Don't worry about the cleaning as long have you have a clear walk way to the fridge:D
     
  14. nannylondon

    nannylondon Registered User

    Apr 7, 2014
    2,478
    London
    Hi Aisling, think 2 Jays ladder just about sums it up, I find I nearly get to the top then slip down a few rungs I lost my husband on the 18th of January, I have found talking to friends a great comfort and I do try and remember the good times.
    So pleased that you have an understanding doctor sending hugs. Xx
     
  15. MollyD

    MollyD Registered User

    Mar 27, 2016
    1,696
    Ireland
    Morning Aisling.

    I hope it's going to be sunny in your neck of the woods. It's nice here today which helps.

    And I hope you are as ok as can be, are getting rest and have food in your fridge and cupboards. Thinking of you. X
     
  16. jorgieporgie

    jorgieporgie Registered User

    Mar 2, 2016
    1,985
    YORKSHIRE
    Morning Aisling,
    Hope today is a positive one for you. Hugs sent xxxx
     
  17. rosy18

    rosy18 Registered User

    Jul 23, 2016
    1,279
    Female
    Blackpool
    Good afternoon Aisling hoping today's been a positive one for you also.
    Thinking of you xx
     
  18. MollyD

    MollyD Registered User

    Mar 27, 2016
    1,696
    Ireland
    Morning Aisling, thinking of you and hope you get word of an appointment soon.

    Warm hug x
     
  19. 2jays

    2jays Registered User

    Jun 4, 2010
    11,598
    West Midlands
    Squishy hug xxx
     
  20. MollyD

    MollyD Registered User

    Mar 27, 2016
    1,696
    Ireland
    Morning, Aisling. Sending warm thoughts. Hope you are hanging in. Hug xxx
     

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