• Expert Q&A: Rare dementias - Tues 3 March, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of rare dementias. It will be hosted by Nikki and Seb from Rare Dementia Support. If you have any questions about rare dementias, they will be here to answer them on Tuesday 3 March between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

right place?

connieonny

Registered User
Feb 9, 2010
77
uk
After well over a year of MiL's admission into an EMI Nursing Home, none of us have settled - least of all, her. She is up at night, agitated and distressed (on the whole) and by day, exhausted,, and there is mention of her moving on to a challenging behaviour unit. She seldom looks 'cared for', due to her behaviour, and care tasks are missed or delayed as she can be unapproachable. We managed more with her when she lived at home, and the question is 'what is going wrong'? Should we accept this as 'normal progression', or is it my MiL struggling to tell us that really, she needs more? She will still to this day accept more from us.

Staff in the Home are wonderful, but how would we know if MiL was not getting what she really needs - more 1-1 perhaps.. My wife was willing to accept, finally, that care was needed, but we both now struggle with what is happening. The other residents, who we have grown to love, we cannot find anyone who is similar in needs. Most are beyond this level, needing true nursing care, and those more like MiL wander and become agitated but are more 'content' shall we say. Others, perhaps better, just sit and accept.

At what point does EMI become a need for ever more specialised care? Should we be asking for it? She really hasn't settled.
 

Patricia Alice

Registered User
Mar 2, 2015
179
After well over a year of MiL's admission into an EMI Nursing Home, none of us have settled - least of all, her. She is up at night, agitated and distressed (on the whole) and by day, exhausted,, and there is mention of her moving on to a challenging behaviour unit. She seldom looks 'cared for', due to her behaviour, and care tasks are missed or delayed as she can be unapproachable. We managed more with her when she lived at home, and the question is 'what is going wrong'? Should we accept this as 'normal progression', or is it my MiL struggling to tell us that really, she needs more? She will still to this day accept more from us.

Staff in the Home are wonderful, but how would we know if MiL was not getting what she really needs - more 1-1 perhaps.. My wife was willing to accept, finally, that care was needed, but we both now struggle with what is happening. The other residents, who we have grown to love, we cannot find anyone who is similar in needs. Most are beyond this level, needing true nursing care, and those more like MiL wander and become agitated but are more 'content' shall we say. Others, perhaps better, just sit and accept.
At what point does EMI become a need for ever more specialised care? Should we be asking for it? She really hasn't settled.
Hi Connie,

My mum has not settled in the care home to well, but we could not cope anymore. We are emotionally blackmailed every time we go. My mom walks up and down constantly (or walking with purpose) as it is known in dementia homes.

We went to see an EMI for a person with higher needs and they did seem to have more staff as it is required with challenging behaviour. Our mum is not at this stage yet, but would have no hesitation in moving her to this other place should the time arrive. They seem to have more interaction/activities.

I can only advise you to do your homework and go look around and ask lots of questions, only then can you decide whether she needs the next level.

Hope you find the answers you need.
 

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