1. twinklestar

    twinklestar Registered User

    Sep 14, 2014
    I would be interested to hear from carers who have returned to work following the loss of a parent.

    Fortunately, I managed to stay working full time as mum became a resident in a care home 12 months before she died. I returned to work two weeks after mum died at the end of April.

    Being the carer for someone with dementia has a profound impact upon you and you will never look at life in the same way again.

    I would love to hear about your thoughts, experiences and how you cope with the specific aspect of trying to get your life back to normal and move foward.
  2. Motherof3

    Motherof3 Registered User

    Mar 9, 2015
    Working very part time

    Hello Twinklestar. My situation isn't quite the same as yours as I was never my mum's main carer; my sister, later helped by one of my brothers, fulfilled that role before mum went into a nursing home.

    We all kept working throughout. My sister and one brother work for the family firm, the other brother has his own company, and I work part time for a charity from home, so we all have a degree of flexibility to our working lives which has been generally useful. Sometimes I wish I had a regular office to go to as I think that would distract me from what has been happening - it can be difficult to switch off from family goings on when you work from home.
  3. Pacucho

    Pacucho Registered User

    Dec 20, 2009
    Wembley, Middlesex
    Hello Twinklestar,

    I have just read you post about returning to work.

    I lost my mum about 5 years ago now, and when she passed away I have to say I found it really difficult to contemplate going back to work. Like you caring for my mum had a deeply profound effect on my view of life.

    One important lesson I learnt is that whatever experiences (and regrets) I had about the past, I had to try and park them to one side and move on. My experience changed me as a person because I also realised that whatever tasks and challenges I had to face it would be nothing compared to what both my mum and I experienced, and so in a strange way it made me stronger as a person.

    For me I decided quite early on that I did not want to go back to the same job I had before. Fortunately I was in a position whereby I had options about the direction in which I would like to continue with my life. But at the same time these were little steps, and my life has evolved over the past 5 years.

    I am not sure whether I will really get over what I experienced in caring for mum, but so long as I am able to pursue my interests and any opportunities that arise then this will keep me moving forward.

    Finally, fortunately I am lucky in that I have had a supporting family and friends as well.
    Hope this helps,

  4. jude50

    jude50 Registered User

    Dec 28, 2011
    Hi Twinklestar

    I was the full time carer for my Mum and I also somehow managed to still work full time with the aid of a wonderful supportive social worker, a brilliant day centre and good regular carers who came in to get Mum up, to the day centre, pick her up and stay with her till I got home. The downside was I had no social life and felt like my life was on hold. Work was a refuge for me for normal like and adult conversation.

    Mum died 4 years ago and it took sometime to adjust. Unfortunately 9 months later I fell and broke my ankle and was laid up for a couple of months but I think it made me it sit and just recuperate myself. I made plans to change the living room which I redecorated when I was recovered.

    Now 4 years later I have become a different person. things don't stress me like they used to. I think if I could deal with the dementia I can deal with anything. I've also met someone and I'm engaged. I never dreamt I would be as happy as I am. It was a long journey but it has made me a stronger more patient person

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