Well something else the care home visits have brought up is if mum collapsed would we want her resuscitated? How the heck do you make that decision? Mum has always said she wont be here long after 70!!...she is now 77 and off to a care home soon. she's not my mum any more and is hardly eating......she really looks like she doesn't want to be in this world any more. Would I be able to live with the the decision if i said don't resuscitate her .I have no idea??? Or hopefully if she flourishes in the home will I feel we must carry on for as long as possible....I dont know that either =[ have any of you found it hard to make the decision? which way have you all gone?? ....had a difficult relationship with my mum all my life and as the dementia makes her worse I wonder what it would be like if I wasn't sorting her out? Is that a bad thing to say?