Restlessness during night

angelhugs

Registered User
Jan 12, 2019
53
0
My husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in April 2020 and was prescribed Aricept and is now taking 10mg in the morning. He was already on Mirtazapine so we can’t try them to help him sleep. It’s only the last few weeks he has started getting out of bed and wandering. Sometimes he needs the toilet and I have to jump out the bed quickly and guide him to the bathroom to stop him urinating in the corner of the room. He talks as if he’s awake and constantly looks at the clock. He doesn’t remember any of it and I am exhausted in the morning. Is it another stage of the illness? He accused me of lying and messing with his head because he doesn’t remember any of it. At his last appointment he was stable but the doctor thought this was because of the lockdown as he didn’t have any responsibilities. He has his own business which he still thinks he is running ?‍♀️ He doesn’t really do anything but does get constantly harassed and is running around stressed. Nobody knows of his diagnosis other than me so I am on my own. It’s obviously the added pressure causing his decline but he won’t listen to me. He got so angry with me this morning he had me by the neck against the wall. I feel in shock and traumatised. I didn’t realise how bad it was and I ended up vomiting all afternoon. I have been lying down and just don’t know what to do. I don’t know what mood he is going to come home in.
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
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Dundee
I’m so sorry that things are so bad @angelhugs.

It sounds as if it is time that others knew about your husband’s diagnosis. You can’t cope with all of this by yourself. It might help to discuss things with either someone on the Dementia Connect Support line or perhaps a call to the Admiral Nurses. You’ll find contact details here -


 

angelhugs

Registered User
Jan 12, 2019
53
0
I’m so sorry that things are so bad @angelhugs.

It sounds as if it is time that others knew about your husband’s diagnosis. You can’t cope with all of this by yourself. It might help to discuss things with either someone on the Dementia Connect Support line or perhaps a call to the Admiral Nurses. You’ll find contact details here -


Thank you for that information. I just don’t know where to turn. My husband was diagnosed on a zoom call and we haven’t had any support whatsoever. I can’t tell anyone about his diagnosis my life wouldn’t be worth living.
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
7,195
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Nottinghamshire
Please make sure you have a charged mobile phone on you and a lockable room to go to if your husband becomes violent again. I know it sound extreme, but the police are very good at dealing with that sort of situation.
I think you do need to tell at least one person you can trust. Carrying the burden of your husband's diagnosis all by yourself is too much for anyone.
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
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Dundee
I agree with @Sarasa. There’s a chance you will hit a big crisis if you don’t let someone known what’s going on. Please do phone the police if you have to. As Sarasa says they are really good at dealing with this kind of situation.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
23,142
0
Southampton
i did reply on different thread. dont keep it a secret as that will give him power. you shouldnt
keep it a secret, its not your fault and you didnt ask for it. you need support and you can only be supported if you tell someone. i told my GP, SS, and was referred to domestic abuse. charged mobile and a safe room. if you get hurt, who will look after your husband? you are important
 

Thethirdmrsc

Registered User
Apr 4, 2018
744
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Hi @angelhugs it’s a shame that you don’t seem to be getting the help that you should, and maybe you should contact his GP or consultant again? I told everyone when my OH was diagnosed in 2017, but boy was I naive about his behaviour. But he still gets up for a wee in the night, anywhere from 2-10 times, and it’s exhausting and I’m permanently tired. But when mine gets aggressive, I walk out and do something else, and just don’t engage him.
 

angelhugs

Registered User
Jan 12, 2019
53
0
Thank you for all your replies it really means a lot that I am not alone. It’s so frustrating because nobody sees this nasty person, to everyone else he’s the friendly joker making everyone laugh. He’s like Jekyll and Hyde. People wouldn’t believe what he turns into. He came home in a different mood but I have left him be. I feel drained. You can’t help someone who won’t help themselves. He probably doesn’t remember what he did to me this morning. Thing is it’s all on our security camera as it was just outside the front door so he can’t say I’m making it up like he says I do about everything else. I’m going to tell him if he gets aggressive again I will ring the police or his brother. Thank you all again so much for your support xxx
 

DazeyDoris

Registered User
Jul 9, 2020
44
0
Does your husband need to know if you tell others @angelhugs ? I've told all my friends and family and them knowing is a huge support, but my husband doesn't know. He also doesn't recognise he has Alzheimer's even though he's been told face to face by the consultant. I haven't told his family yet as we don't have much to do with them, and sadly he doesn't really have any friends. It's very tough and you really do need to share this, if only to help yourself.