Restbite

[Davie1967]

Hi there
I'm new to this so please help. My mother is 79 with Alzheimer's and can't talk or move. We have to feed her and change her and anything else. I've been trying to get her into rest bite for almost 2 weeks now and only managed managed to get a care home out to assess her today. They told me that she is too old to move here into care and that she may die with the move. She has been the same way now for about 2-3 years now and just keeps fighting on. We go on holiday in about 5 days. What can I do to get care for her when I'm away. I'm at my wits end. Help

 

[Penmon79]

Oh dear, I really feel for you; we have trouble finding respite care too and my M-in-L is nowhere near as bad as your mother. All I can suggest is that you ask Social Services if they can help and for you to ring around every care / nursing home you can find.
I do hope that you manage go get your break.

 

[SnowWhite]

Hello Davie. Sorry to hear about your Mum. You sound like you need a holiday too but you may be cutting it a bit fine.

Just to help you with googling, can I point out that it's "respite" ..... check out respite providers in your area. I guess the only other alternative is getting in 24/7 carers.

I do hope you get your holiday. Let us know! Xx

 

[Davie1967]

Resbite

Thank you for your reply. We have been phoning around all local care homes. But I've managed to get only one to come out and see my mum and they said she's to frail to move here. But my doctor said that she is not unwell so she can't be admitted to hospital. So it's catch 22?

 

[Mich09]

Thank you for your reply. We have been phoning around all local care homes. But I've managed to get only one to come out and see my mum and they said she's to frail to move here. But my doctor said that she is not unwell so she can't be admitted to hospital. So it's catch 22?

Hi Davie
When we were in the same situation, we arranged for carers to come and stay in our home so that we could go on holiday. Is that a possibility?

 

[Davie1967]

Respite

Hi Davie
When we were in the same situation, we arranged for carers to come and stay in our home so that we could go on holiday. Is that a possibility?

Yes that would be possible but the problem is that time is getting short and the social work could not get that in position in time I would think.

 

[Mich09]

Yes that would be possible but the problem is that time is getting short and the social work could not get that in position in time I would think.

SS didn't help us at all. Even though MIL was not self funding. If you do an internet search for emergency home live in care for your area, you may hit lucky and find someone who can help. SS will do anything to get out of helping you

 

[Rodelinda]

It's seriously tough and I do feel for you. Not sure I can add much but a couple of thoughts. Do you have a specialist dementia support team in your local mental health trust or hospital trust? If so, contact them to help you. Or contact the Alzheimer's Society helpline - click through the links on the page to find details. They might be able to help. Or if you have a local Admiral Nurses team - phone them. And follow up with the other suggestions. All the best. Sue

 

[SnowWhite]

Davie .... have you looked in local magazines, shop windows, doctors surgeries etc for a live in carer to cover your holiday?

My friend who sadly passed away not long ago used to do this. She worked two weeks on and two weeks off and gave 24 HR care to very elderly people, often bedridden. She was a lovely person .... totally reliable, caring and trustworthy.

What about contacting social services and they might put you in touch with agencies.

We all need a holiday. Hubby and I had a week in Majorca in early October and I can't tell you how relaxed it made me. I booked mum in a local home for a weeks respite care and she enjoyed it and I just chilled out knowing she was getting 24/7 care.

Let us know how you get on.