• Expert Q&A: Rare dementias - Tues 3 March, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of rare dementias. It will be hosted by Nikki and Seb from Rare Dementia Support. If you have any questions about rare dementias, they will be here to answer them on Tuesday 3 March between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

Respite??

Britvic

Registered User
Jul 11, 2015
6
Well my dad is living in denial of having Alzheimer's , and he has a constant argumentative relationship with my mum who is his main carer she tries to stay calm but she often doesn't handle things ideally and I know it's hard as she is with him all the time . I try to take dad out and help with things and always find him amenable and calm . The con has today suggested a social worker sees them and we consider respite ! I am a nurse and know what this involves , my dad still drives his retest due in 3 weeks and goes out independently and has a 16 year old dog he idolises and know he won't want to go in a home , so how will this work ?? It's not that easy to just put him in respite and think he'll stay ! Is there no other way to support them both ? Feel so anxious
 

Beate

Registered User
May 21, 2014
11,846
London
Have you considered day care? He'd still be home in the evenings, nights and weekends but it would get him out of your Mum's way for a few hours a day.
 

Britvic

Registered User
Jul 11, 2015
6
Respite

Have you considered day care? He'd still be home in the evenings, nights and weekends but it would get him out of your Mum's way for a few hours a day.
Yes it's just trying to convince my dad as he insists nothing wrong with him !
 

Beate

Registered User
May 21, 2014
11,846
London
There is nothing wrong with a lot of people in day care, they are just elderly. There are centres that are specialised in dementia and some that take "normal" people and some with mild to moderate dementia. You could sell it to him as some kind of socialising or lunch club? Or tell him they look for volunteers? My OH helps out at his day centre at meal times, they stick him in a pinny and let him serve food and drinks. He loves it.

As with regards to your mother, she needs support in her own right. She could do with maybe going to coffee mornings at the Alzheimer's Society, meeting other carers etc. AS do a brilliant 5 week course called CRISP that could help her with her caring role. This link might also help her communicate better with your Dad: http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/showthread.php?30801-Compassionate-Communication-with-the-Memory-Impaired
We're not all born to care and learn as we go along.

Would he go on walks with someone from a befriending/sitting service? The dog could come along!