Respite part 2

sue h

Registered User
Jan 2, 2004
Maidstone, Kent
Well not sure where to start really. Its been quite a traumatic week to say the least. Dad was due to go in a week ago last Monday but Mum didn't get the paperwork through until the Saturday before and his admission date had been changed to last Tuesday (5th). The list of things for him to take was pretty long, basically a set of clothes for everyday (I noticed someone else said that on this site) which had Mum in a bit of a panic and I had to do some last minute shopping for her. Took Dad in on Tuesday which probably was the hardest thing I've ever done. It wasn't made any easier by the fact that we were left and ignored for an hour and a half (found out later that it was because the doctors were in a meeting, could have told us) and Mum was very close to walking out and taking Dad back home. It wasn't the most pleasant place in the world. After seeing the doctor we went home without even saying goodbye (their advice not to). We managed to get through the last week, kept Mum busy (went shopping, out for the evening at the pub for a singalong evening and a day at Howletts Zoo). Mum phoned the unit every day. Dad thought he was in the army, kept asking when they were going back to camp and when were they going to Nairobi! (he was stationed in Africa). On Sunday they said he'd had a fall on Friday and knocked his nose, hadn't phoned because they couldn't find a contact number. What!!! Not only that but Mum had spoken to them on Saturday and they hadn't said anything.
Anyway went to collect him yesterday morning, walked in couldn't find any staff but found Dad trying to find a way out of the window. Finally found a nurse who went and got his suitcase and let us out. No info whatsoever. By the way the bruised nose ended up to be a big gash on his forehead as well which was a bit of a shock. Got home opened his case, found half his clothes were missing and a load that weren't his, and no medication. I went back in the afternoon and saw the staff nurse who sorted everything out. Dad has come home a lot worse than when he went in, he's lost weight and is finding stairs difficult (obviously none in the unit). Mum's adament that he's never going to go back there. So we are back to square one, Mum had a bad night with him last night. Up at 1.30 (wet bed), and restless for the rest of the night. This morning he took until 11.00 to eat his breakfast then fell over (not hurt but Mum had trouble getting him up) wet trousers (more washing) then Mum rang me and said she can't cope with this all the time. I keep suggesting some home nursing care which Mum has always resisted but I can't think of any alternatives. I know a lot of you have been in similar situations so any advice would be appreciated. I'm not sure how any help would be funded either. The next meeting we have with the CPN and psychiatrist isn't until the first week in August so I suppose we'll have to wait until then for their assessment and advice. (part of the reason for Dad going in for respite).
Life can be very cruel. Love to all


Registered User
Dec 11, 2003
Tully, Qld, Australia
Dear Sue,

Sounds like a week from Hell and a Nursing Home from a similar location. Oh dear!

Do contact your CPN and SS to find out what assistance they can offer in the way of finding some home nursing. That will give you a breathing space in which to sus out decent respite accommodation for the future.

Good luck.