Hello,
I am a carer for my mum in law Joyce and have been for the past 8 years since she became a widow. She is in the middle stages of alzheimers and lives alone. She has carers going in 4 times a day for half hour each time. She lives in a little village and has no friends who live close, apart from one neighbour who is getting very stressed over Joyce who knocks on the door late at night, wanders about in the garden and has had over 14 falls in the last two years. She now gets very confused and not able to look after herself without help.
Her eldest son lives in Spain and for the past 8 years has left everything to me and not been involved, hardly visiting. He suddenly started taking an interest when I had to pay out more for care and he is worried about the bank account diminishing. IEvery Christmas my mum in law has been with me and my husband but this year have to look after my own mum as she is having an operation on 12th December and possibly may have cancer. Mum gets lots of phone calls from Joyce sometimes upto 40 a day and wont be able to cope with her ringing at Christmas. Joyce relies on me a lot and I help her with shopping, cheering her up and with her health and well being. I feel she needs to go into respite this year as she will enjoy the festivities and the company. At home she would just be mostly on her own, with meals on wheels for her Christmas dinner which I feel would be very sad. Her eldest son does not want her to go into respite as it would cost too much but is not prepared to look after her over Christmas. I have third party authorithy so able to pay for things for her. She is a lovely lady but won't stop talking and the repetition and confusion always stresses the family. Should I go ahead with the respite against her sons wishes? She says she is lonely and often talks about going into care.##
Please help
I am a carer for my mum in law Joyce and have been for the past 8 years since she became a widow. She is in the middle stages of alzheimers and lives alone. She has carers going in 4 times a day for half hour each time. She lives in a little village and has no friends who live close, apart from one neighbour who is getting very stressed over Joyce who knocks on the door late at night, wanders about in the garden and has had over 14 falls in the last two years. She now gets very confused and not able to look after herself without help.
Her eldest son lives in Spain and for the past 8 years has left everything to me and not been involved, hardly visiting. He suddenly started taking an interest when I had to pay out more for care and he is worried about the bank account diminishing. IEvery Christmas my mum in law has been with me and my husband but this year have to look after my own mum as she is having an operation on 12th December and possibly may have cancer. Mum gets lots of phone calls from Joyce sometimes upto 40 a day and wont be able to cope with her ringing at Christmas. Joyce relies on me a lot and I help her with shopping, cheering her up and with her health and well being. I feel she needs to go into respite this year as she will enjoy the festivities and the company. At home she would just be mostly on her own, with meals on wheels for her Christmas dinner which I feel would be very sad. Her eldest son does not want her to go into respite as it would cost too much but is not prepared to look after her over Christmas. I have third party authorithy so able to pay for things for her. She is a lovely lady but won't stop talking and the repetition and confusion always stresses the family. Should I go ahead with the respite against her sons wishes? She says she is lonely and often talks about going into care.##
Please help