Three weeks ago my Dad (who is carer to my Mum who has mixed dementia) was admitted to hospital for an emergency operation and we had to find emergency respite care for my Mum. Dad is now out of hospital, but very weak and unable to cope with looking after Mum - in the short and the longer term. Stress was a factor in his admission and Mum has become increasingly violent and difficult to care for (refusing to wash, change clothes, wandering, doubly incontinent). Dad cannot cope any more and as a family we have decided to investigate the possibility of Mum staying in the Care Home as she seems to have adapted well to the change in environment and although unwilling to accept care from the staff she will, at least, accept it in the end, which she wouldn't do from us. I have arranged for the Social Worker to do an assessment of both Mum and Dad (as a carer) on Friday.
In the meantime Dad has received a form from the Social Worker asking if he is prepared to pay £102 per week for the respite care. Neither Mum nor Dad have much money and are well below the limits over which contributions must be made for permanent residential care. Does anyone know whether, if he signs the form saying that he is willing to pay this contribution for the period she has received respite care that will count against him in the financial needs assessment? Clearly, if Mum were in permanent care her pension, attendance allowance etc would form a contribution to her costs and it seems only right and proper that this money should be paid for the period she has been in respite care - so we feel morally it should be paid. BUT, in saying that he is willing to make £102 contribution is Dad commiting himself to anything in the long term do you think? Without Mum's pension and allowances he will find it hard enough to cope financially without having to find £400 a month in addition.
Has anyone else been presented with such a request and are there any consequences of agreeing to it that have caused later problems?
Thanks for any advice or experiences you can share.
Sue
In the meantime Dad has received a form from the Social Worker asking if he is prepared to pay £102 per week for the respite care. Neither Mum nor Dad have much money and are well below the limits over which contributions must be made for permanent residential care. Does anyone know whether, if he signs the form saying that he is willing to pay this contribution for the period she has received respite care that will count against him in the financial needs assessment? Clearly, if Mum were in permanent care her pension, attendance allowance etc would form a contribution to her costs and it seems only right and proper that this money should be paid for the period she has been in respite care - so we feel morally it should be paid. BUT, in saying that he is willing to make £102 contribution is Dad commiting himself to anything in the long term do you think? Without Mum's pension and allowances he will find it hard enough to cope financially without having to find £400 a month in addition.
Has anyone else been presented with such a request and are there any consequences of agreeing to it that have caused later problems?
Thanks for any advice or experiences you can share.
Sue