Respite care

[lu]

My husband is in a day care three afternoons a week which is wonderful for him and me. They have about ten people there with two attendants who organize games, etc or leave them to watch tv. My concern is, if I leave him in respite care, say, for a week, will he think I would leave him there every time I take him to daycare? He may refuse to go to daycare anymore? Should I take the chance? He has moderate Alzheimer's and is progressing slowly. Diagnosed about five years ago. Many problems with th "sundowners" addition to this terrible illness. I'll appreciate any ones experience on this.

 

[FifiMo]

I would talk to the care home staff and come up with a plan to deal with this. Your husband could, for example, still get up and go to day care whilst he is in respite so the majority of his daily routine stays the same. Then the staff could invite him to stay for tea and then to stay overnight or something like that.

It will also depend on the extent of his ability to remember things too. Would he remember after a few days that he had stayed there? Would he just remember/accept that day care is part of his routine? How is he with regards to time? Is he able to process information with regards to how long he has been somewhere? How many hours? Differentiate between night and day? Days of the week? With my mum, one of the bonuses (if ever there is such a thing with this disease) was that she had no concept of time. If you left the room to go to the bathroom she would welcome you back in the same way as if she hadn't seen you for weeks. Even when she was at this stage however it was us who still struggled with timings and ensuring that someone was with her regularly etc.

I hope you find an approach that is suitable for both you and your husband and I hope he enjoys his respite and you enjoy your break.

Fiona