Respite Care

[janew]

Shortly, I am putting my mum into Respite Care for the 1st time.

I have been telling her that she is going for 3 nights but I don't really know whether to keep on about it or just let her go with the flow, as she usually goes to this nursing home while I am at work.

Also friends have asked me whether I think they should visit while she is there. In one way she would love to see her friends but I think it would unsettle her and she will want to come home with them - so wonder if anyone could give me some advice.

I am really looking forward to the break, I do feel guilty but I am going away to visit friends so feel better as I won't be at home to wonder how she is - although I know it won't be that easy.

Thank you for all you help, I don't post very often on the site but I am often reading how other people are dealing with this awful disease.

Best Wishes to you
Jane

 

[daughter]

Hi Jane,

I'd definitely advise not 'go on about it' and treat your Mum's respite very matter-a-fact, as if it's the most normal thing in the world, especially as your Mum is familiar with the nursing home. If you try to paint a too-rosy picture, your Mum may think there's something to worry about!

If your Mum's friends want to visit, you could ask them to make sure it's around a meal time and that way they can leave your Mum with the distraction of eating. The plus side for you would be that, when you're wondering how she's getting on, then a quick phone call to one of her friends might set your mind at rest. I hope it goes well and you enjoy your deserved break,

Best wishes,

 

[janew]

Thank you Hazel, for you help its made me feel better about it all. I know everyone is different but as it puts them out of routine does it make them more confused when they get home or do they soon forget it.

I remember from Christmas when mum wasn't doing her usual activites it was quite hard to get her back to her usual routine and at the moment she seems to be going along quite well and I don't really want to upset it - but I am not going to cancel it as I need the break. (1st time I've been away from mum in 3 years).

Thank you for listening

Jane

 

[Angela]

Hi
I would agree with the advice given by "daughter", and indeed if you read back through your own posting, you too have answered your questions with the best course of action!
I hope if youve had your break, all was well?