Respite care

Eunomi

Registered User
Apr 2, 2018
14
0
My husband is going into respite care for the first time. How and what do I say to handle both our feelings.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
25,018
0
South coast
When OH went into respite I "sold" it to him as a holiday and fortunately the manager went along with this. I wouldnt say anything about it until the day as otherwise he is likely to get agitated because he will only half remember that there is something important and then might decide that he is not going.

OH really enjoyed himself and I think he relished the attention. Im hoping to book him back in again soon.
 

Batsue

Registered User
Nov 4, 2014
4,893
0
Scotland
When mum went into respite in January I took the cowards way out and did not tell her, the nurses distracted her and helped me to escape. Mum was fine during her week in respite and settled really well.
 

Ruth1974

Registered User
Dec 26, 2018
128
0
My husband is going into respite care for the first time. How and what do I say to handle both our feelings.
Mine is supposed to be but i put it on hold because of the covid restrictions (am in scotland) he would have had to self isolate in a room for 14 days!
I was going to say nothing til he arrived then introduce him to someone and tell him they wete going to look after him til i got back. He has no concept of time or location so would be no lessbok than at home
 

AgilityGirl

New member
Sep 2, 2020
2
0
When OH went into respite I "sold" it to him as a holiday and fortunately the manager went along with this. I wouldnt say anything about it until the day as otherwise he is likely to get agitated because he will only half remember that there is something important and then might decide that he is not going.

OH really enjoyed himself and I think he relished the attention. I'm hoping to book him back in again soon.

Really glad to hear it went well. I have been asking about Respite Care locally for my Dad who has dementia to give my mum a break. they are all saying he will need to be isolated for 2 weeks when he goes in, even if we get a Covid Test done. we were then put off the idea as were worried that he wouldn't cope with being by himself so much, although the caring staff would of course be in contact with him. any insights? my mum is at the end of her tether (she is 87 and he is 92). Thanks in advance.
 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
7,342
0
Nottinghamshire
Welcome to Dementia Talking Point @AgilityGirl .

I think the 14 quarantine is standard in all carehomes and I understand how reluctant it makes you to do that to your dad. Is there any other way of your mum getting a break for a while? A family member who could stay with them for a week or two or who could have your dad stay with them? Even a day or two would make a difference to your poor mum.

Perhaps your dad needs extra care visits? If you could tell us a little more about the situation perhaps others will have suggestions.
 

Shedrech

Registered User
Dec 15, 2012
12,649
0
UK
hi @AgilityGirl
I'm afraid I'd be organising the respite .... for me, your mum deserves as much consideration as your dad and if she's at the end of her tether she needs a break or she will break ... I appreciate that yours is a rock /hard place situation, but although not ideal for your dad, he will be looked out for and looked after, your mum mum needs that too
 

Sirena

Registered User
Feb 27, 2018
2,324
0
@AgilityGirl I agree with Shedrech, I'd go ahead with the respite. Your dad will get the care he needs, and he may not be that keen to socialise in the main areas anyway - it is a bit of a culture shock to go from living in a private home to a care home with multiple individuals.

It is far from ideal of course, but if you are happy you have chosen a good care home I would give it a try for your mother's sake.