1. Jane.B

    Jane.B Registered User

    Dec 7, 2007
    164
    Hampshire
    I have just left my husband at the local nursing home for two weeks respite care, but although I know that he's well looked after there, (when we arrived he was greeted with "how lovely to see you, your looking younger than ever") I always feel a bit guilty, because I've got so much arranged that I'm going to do, away for a week and lots of family visits.
    I'm not supoposed to visit him there, because it's my time of rest, but his daughters will visit. Even though he doesn't know who they are, he loves it when they give him a cuddle.
    This is the third time he's been this year, and he's booked in about every 7 or 8 weeks until the end of the year.
     
  2. helen.tomlinson

    helen.tomlinson Registered User

    Mar 27, 2008
    541
    Hello Jane B

    I think feeling guilty is par for the course but at least you don't let the feeling of guilt dominate what you do.

    Your husband is being well looked after and I hope you have a good time and a well earned rest.

    Love Helen
     
  3. blue sea

    blue sea Registered User

    Aug 24, 2005
    270
    England
    Dear Jane
    Enjoy your time, knowing you will be refreshed and better able to continue your caring in a way that benefits you and your husband. Nice for your daughters to have special time with their dad too; even if he doesn't recognize them, his response to them is very positive and I'm sure they will feel good that they can help you have a break too.
    Blue sea
     
  4. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Dear Jane

    Hope you have a lovely break. Try not to feel guilty, the rest will do you good, and your husband is obviously not unhappy in the NH.

    Have a great time.

    Love,
     
  5. ROSEANN

    ROSEANN Registered User

    Oct 1, 2006
    909
    staffordshire
    Dear Jane
    Hope you have a good break.
    I am waiting at the moment for my husband to go into respite as I am desperate for a break but at the same time I am worried to death about leaving him as he has been very depressed and clingy just lately.
    Like you my girls will visit so I will put my trust in them.
    Take care Roseann
     
  6. Nutty Nan

    Nutty Nan Registered User

    Nov 2, 2003
    787
    Buckinghamshire
    My heart goes out to you, Jane - the only way I have ever been able to conquer the guilt is by using my 'respite time' to visit my father abroad. If I was within reach of the care home, I'd want to be there morning, noon and night......
    Having said that, please do take everyone's advice, make the most of it and cram whatever you can into your two weeks: that way, the time will pass quickly and you can pick up where you left off with hubby.
    Enjoy your 'me' time!!
     
  7. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,863
    Kent
    Enjoy the respite Jane and don`t feel guilty. Guilt will waste it.
    Enjoy the peace, enjoy the freedom, enjoy no demands, enjoy time for yourself.
    And feel the benefit, and be ready to return to caring, refreshed and well.
    Love xx
     
  8. Jane.B

    Jane.B Registered User

    Dec 7, 2007
    164
    Hampshire
    I was really hoping to be able to get out in the garden to do a little bit of this and that, or just sit in the sun with a good book, but the weather foul at the moment, not garden weather, so today I'm slobbing about at home, tomorrow I'm visiting our eldest daughter, and the day after I'm being taken out for the day by our youngest, next week I'm staying with my two sister's one in Norfolk & one in London, so I'm keeping busy. I don't really feel guilty because I know he's in good hands, it just feels strange not to have him around especially at night.
     
  9. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,863
    Kent
    I understand the `strangeness` I keep expecting to hear my husband`s footsteps padding up the hall, bringing me a cup of tea.
    It`s as well you have things planned Jane. Shame about the weather. :rolleyes:
    Love xx
     
  10. christine_batch

    christine_batch Registered User

    Jul 31, 2007
    3,388
    Buckinghamshire
    Dear Jane,
    When my husband first went into E.M.I. Unit, I was lost & feeling guilty.
    My son & DIL took me on holiday for two weeks. I came up with every excuse I could think of not to go but when my son said he would like some quality time with me, I gave in.
    During the two weeks holiday I found ME.
    I came back so relaxed and refreshed after 5 years of Caring.
    So enjoy your break.
    Best wishes
    Christine
     

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