respite care how will I cope


Registered User
Apr 19, 2007
why do I feel so upset that that Jack is going into respite care for 2 weeks.
I think that I would not be so worried if he could see, I have been to the home and was not impressed by the sitting and telivision as jack cannot see very much. asked if they had games or any other entertainment and was told they do, I worry that he will be left on his own and get very frightened. I do need the rest but I feel as if I am abandoning him. If you have any experiences of respite care please put my mind at rest.


Registered User
Jan 5, 2007
You're certinly not abandoning Jack...we had to put my Dad into restbite care for three weeks while my Mum went into hospital. You have to go into these care homes with an open mind and a friendly attitude to the staff I have found...that way things get done the way you want when you ask...Dad didn't like it for the first few days and evertime I visited him he would curse my Mum for putting him in the end he was telling everyone it was his home now and he wanted to stay....please don't feel much as we don't like putting our relatives into these places, it is better that you get rest..what use will you be to Jack if you get so tired that you become ill? Believe me, you are doing the right Dads sight isn't so good and he spent most of his time in care, sleeping in the chair in front of the TV....hope this helps:)


Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
I read in your other post that Jack has settle , in day-center.

I was wondering along the line if you could perceive it as his going to day- center , but your not picking him for a week or to , One long rest for you

So you don't feel like you are abandoning him , I know that feeling , that how I first felt when I first left Mum at respite but we are not are we ( abandoning them ) because they always back come home to us.

I know it may sound easy for me , because I having only been looking after mum for 5 years , while you have been married for years . Its just a rest form the caring so we can carry on caring in the future
Last edited:

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
Dear June,

Although My husband hasn`t yet been in respite care, there is a first time for everything and I do understand how you feel.

It is obvious from your post, how much you need this break, so could you forget about thoughts of abandoning your husband, and think instead that you will be having a well earned break to recoup from the strain of caring.

I do hope he will be well looked after, and then you will not be so worried the second time.

Please let us know how it goes.


Registered User
Feb 26, 2006
Dear June

When Mary went into respite care for the first time I worried the whole week about whether she was being well cared for and if she was happy. When I arrived to take her home she said "I won't be long I am just going to my friends room for a chat"! I was reminded of spare parts at a wedding.

There are no garantees in this world but let's hope your fears are unfounded. Try to relax and enjoy your 2 weeks, you deserve them.



Registered User
Apr 15, 2007
Dear June
I have not had experience with respite care in a care home, but, do know of some others from the dementia support group who use respite. They see it as a godsend. I think it will be harder on you then Jack first time up. It's only natural that you will be concerned, but, your not abandoning him. It is important that you look after yourself. June, I do hope that you benefit from the respite and that everything works out well. Take Care. Taffy.:)