1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. hvml

    hvml Registered User

    Oct 10, 2015
    300
    North Cornwall
    Morning everyone.

    I got back from my respite late last night after a long day on the road. My brother and his partner picked up my Dad from the CH earlier in the evening.

    I have had a fairly idealized picture of CHs and have voiced this to some degree on here, so I feel knocked sideways to learn that Dad has really gone downhill in the week that I have been away.

    His mobility is the main thing to be affected, as it seems that he has been stuck in the wheelchair all the time and not encouraged to exercise. He has not been given the medication as I instructed, so the double incontinence problems are again escalated and as for having had stimulation and activities.......... I'm shocked and disappointed

    We now have experienced 3 different CHs for respite and know which was the least worst, but......my opinions on permanent residential care have changed and I wonder how we can proceed in a situation where it looks like a future option. Is there any organization that continues to campaign for the rights of CH patients that is ongoing?

    Thanks

    Heidi x
     
  2. 2jays

    2jays Registered User

    Jun 4, 2010
    11,477
    West Midlands
    Hi

    First thing - did you enjoy your respite? I'm hoping it charged your batteries as it sounds like you need re charged batteries

    It's such a kick in the teeth when things seem to have gone wrong during time in a care home :(

    As to your last question, the only organisation I can think of is CQC that monitor care homes

    I'm thinking about your comment re his medication. Care homes are not allowed to give medication unless it's authorised and on the GP's list of medications to give him. If it was on the list, then you have cause for complaint to the care home and I guess the CQC

    The down turn could be that he wasn't there long enough to "settle in" for the carers to understand his needs and therefore if he objected to anything, they might have not encouraged him as much as they would have if he was long term. No excuse, but getting to know someone with dementia isn't a speedy process.

    After giving you advice in possibly "seeing the other side of the situation", just know, I too would be annoyed and upset as you are and would be asking the care home why it was like this.

    Hugs xx




    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  3. hvml

    hvml Registered User

    Oct 10, 2015
    300
    North Cornwall
    Thanks so much 2jays. I had a great respite break thanks. I go from rural Cornwall to Brixton, so the change couldn't be greater!! Did lots of cooking for me and OH, spent lots of time with the cats, went out amongst people.......
    Since getting Dad up, things are worse than I thought. No use of his legs whatsoever. My brother and his partner had to help me manhandle him out of bed and in the wheelchair.

    I can see the problems involved in short stays but.......I'm shocked by the deterioration and will call the CH to find out how many paracetamol he was given and how often. Depending on their answer, I may make a complaint.

    The only other thing that I have got to hold on to is that the Community Nurse is due to visit today to change Dad's dressing. I have asked for a hoist to use with my brother and his partner.

    Xx
     
  4. 2jays

    2jays Registered User

    Jun 4, 2010
    11,477
    West Midlands
    Hmmmm have him checked out for uti. Maybe he got a bit dehydrated in the care home, not having as much fluid intake as he usually does....

    Such a worry xxxxx


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  5. hvml

    hvml Registered User

    Oct 10, 2015
    300
    North Cornwall
    I'll do that when the nurses come. Good idea. He seems reasonable in his thinking, just impossible to move from the chair to the loo now that I am on my own for the day.

    I have requested the nurses to bring a hoist, so we shall see how they can help.

    Xx xx
     
  6. jojop

    jojop Registered User

    Nov 9, 2013
    66
    SE London
    Hi,

    Glad you had a good week's respite.

    Sorry to hear about your dad, such a worry. Hope the nurse is able to help you both.
    Jo xx
     
  7. sleepless

    sleepless Registered User

    Feb 19, 2010
    3,232
    Female
    The Sweet North
    Heidi, I am sorry to hear about your Dad's deterioration.
    I would also suspect a possible UTI and / or dehydration, so get as much fluid into him as you can.

    When things have settled down and you have time, look at The Residents and Relatives Association website (easily found on Google) -- it may be of help.

    I hope you see some improvement with your dad soon. Try not to worry.
     
  8. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,740
    sorry to hear that your Dad has deteriorated so much
    The medication is a safeguarding issue and needs to be reported to your local adult care services safeguarding team. Not giving medication is both unacceptable and dangerous.

    The mobility issue is totally unacceptable in my opinion and should be reported to the CQC

    Both of these are serious and will be affecting permanent residents in the home.

    If you have the energy when you have done that!! so sorry you have all this on your plate, then a letter to the manager of the Care Home as a Formal Complaint will have to be replied to and then kept as a matter of record.

    It is only by doing these things that we stand any chance of making things better - if we don't nothing will happen. There is another organisation called Compassion in Care who are definitely interested in what happens in care homes - you could copy them the complaints letter if you do decide to write.

    Please keep us posted. Pleased to hear you had a decent break but so sorry you have come back to such sadness xxx
     
  9. hvml

    hvml Registered User

    Oct 10, 2015
    300
    North Cornwall
    The nurse came and said she didn't recognise any signs of uti, but she also recommended pushing the fluids. Since this morning, ( when I restarted the pain relief) he has managed to cross the sitting room and make his way into the loo, although it took a lot of chivvying to get him up again. But......he has done it once. Is now fast asleep with the efforts, but I will try again in a bit. While he is sleeping, I'm going to start making plans for phone calls and letters, starting with the CH. I have got lots to be going on with. Just what I was looking for. Xx xx

    Hi Jo
    Thanks for your good wishes. I had a lovely break and have to say that I would recommend broccoli and stilton soup!
     
  10. hvml

    hvml Registered User

    Oct 10, 2015
    300
    North Cornwall

    Xx xx
     
  11. hvml

    hvml Registered User

    Oct 10, 2015
    300
    North Cornwall
    Just to update at the end of a long, but productive day. After a heavy morning's sleep, Dad managed to stand up and from there, took first time a few steps, then a few more until by the end of the day, he made his own way to his bedroom. I think given practice, he should get back to his level of mobility, which is sufficient for me to be able to manage largely on my own with his needs.

    I couldn't get the nurse in charge of the CH today, but will call again tomorrow.

    Xx
     
  12. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,740
    Well done you and your Dad, that is fantastic progress. Fingers crossed xxx
     
  13. jojop

    jojop Registered User

    Nov 9, 2013
    66
    SE London
    That is good to hear, hopefully after a good night's sleep he will be more mobile tomorrow.

    Glad the soup was good too!
    Xx
     
  14. hvml

    hvml Registered User

    Oct 10, 2015
    300
    North Cornwall
    Thanks guys. Fingers crossed, feeling better about things. Every day brings something new! We had a nice chill with Frank Sinatra this afternoon, to get Dad feeling as relaxed and at home as possible! Xx
     
  15. hvml

    hvml Registered User

    Oct 10, 2015
    300
    North Cornwall
    Another day, another set of situations.

    This morning was bad again, with Dad being unable to get to his feet unaided, which meant that the cavalry heaved him into his wheelchair and left for work. We will have to deal with this for a few more days, but a hoist is being delivered on Monday A relief for all concerned.

    Once Dad and I are on our own for the day and done in the bathroom, he has gradually warmed up to the point where he has been able to walk to his bedroom on both days since he came home from respite.

    Today I have been encouraging him to practice standing up and sitting down a couple of times, to try and regain the strength in his arms and legs. Tomorrow, I plan to restart regular toileting to build up his walking again. He is so unsteady that I have been walking behind him with the wheelchair in case he falls backwards. Heart in mouth every time.

    The nurse in charge has not been available when I have phoned, but we have to go to pick up some stuff that was left and I will make an appointment to see her in person then. Although I am happy that Dad's wound was dressed well, there are other questions that I would like answers to. My secret weapon is my brother's partner, who makes 'Assertive' seem like an understatement.

    The walking is my main concern.

    Xx
     
  16. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,740
  17. hvml

    hvml Registered User

    Oct 10, 2015
    300
    North Cornwall
    Those look great fizzie. Thanks very much Will add them in with the rest today. Xx
     
  18. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    9,336
    Female
    South coast
    I may have missed it, but does he have a zimmer/rollator frame? If not perhaps a rollator frame may help his balance. Mum got hers from a physio.
     
  19. jojop

    jojop Registered User

    Nov 9, 2013
    66
    SE London
    Hi Heidi,

    Sorry to hear this, your poor dad (and you). Hope the hoist arrives on Monday that'll be a great help and make things easier. Least the weekend you have brother there to help. I like the sound of your secret weapon, use her!
    Well done you with the exercises, hope you are okay.
    Jo xxx
     
  20. hvml

    hvml Registered User

    Oct 10, 2015
    300
    North Cornwall
    Hi jojo and canary.
    Yes, he does have a frame, but I have been so worried, that I have been trying to cover all options. Again, things have improved by the end of the day and the weekend will be less time restricted. I'm planning to lie in till 6.30am.

    Yes - I have had confirmation that the hoist will be delivered Monday and the nurses are going to time their visit so that they can show me how to use it. Things are coming together. I'm also hoping that as Dad regains strength and confidence, he may be able to start getting to his feet in the mornings. Fingers crossed we don't end up having to use the hoist long term.

    Have got a growing list of concerns to raise with the home, so SIL and I have got a day planned. Visit neighbour in his CH, mooch in town a bit, do big supermarket shop, have lunch, then go and have words.

    Thanks for your kind words as always Jo. I'm ok thanks. Feeling calmer now. Dad and I are having our usual relaxing days, just the mornings from bed to wheelchair to toilet back to chair, with washing and dressing at the same time......and all the time, diarrhea is in the back of my mind ( so to speak) coz that really would be a disastrous complication. This problem was sorted with judicious use of loperamide, but they didn't follow my notes in respite, so we are back to square one.

    How are things with you jojo? Xx
     

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