Respite before care home
Margarita said:
I could not look after my mother if I did not have respite , one year ago on my mother first respite my mother look around first at her respite was very negative worried that I was leavening her there no matter how much reassurance would convince her that I was not leavening her there , but on the day I still took her there she was very worried and keep phoning me , but settle down after a day .
Now a year on mum say she going on holiday to anyone when I need a rest and she go in to respite
I hope you don't mind me saying but suptowngirl
I don’t think you pick the right care home as that manger should not of said to you
He should have had more understanding for you in leavening your mother in respite, maybe they did not want the hassle of trying to cram your mother down when you left her there, because it does pass the upset and they should understand that.
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If I was you I would phone SW book another respite? Don’t show her the respite home she going to
Why did she have to Mix with people when viewing it or eat with them
It make me think no wonder she thought you where
You where giving her too much information in one day scaring her . who told you to do it like that in the 1st place? (as in you mum speanding the day there mixing with people and eating ).
If you don't mind me asking
Thank you all for your replies.
I haven't been on for a while. It was the social worker who told us to take mum to the home so she could get the feel of the place. We told her she was going on holiday for a week's rest. She had no idea it was a care home. It seems it is how things are run here.
Since all that happened mum has deteriorated and we have had to take her back to the hospital to see her doctor. He has now said she has to be admitted into a secure hospital for assessment and then into an EMI unit in a care home. This was a week ago, he said either last week or this week. We haven't had the call yet and it's as if we are treading on hot coals, every time the phone rings our hearts miss a beat.
I have just come home from my mum's after putting her to bed. I love her so dearly but she hasn't got a clue. She knows my face but she doesn't know I'm her daughter.
She is now " my daughter " and the love and care she gave me unconditionally is now given to her. I bath her , I dress her, I cook for her but I can't give her the 24 hr care she needs now.
My heart is breaking, seeing my mum who has always been such a strong healthy lady turn into such a deffencless victim of this desease.
So no, no information was given to my mum at all and perhaps the manager of the home was wrong to say it was the wrong time for her to go in for respite, I don't know but I wish she was well enough for a week's respite care. She seems to be jumping stages of this AD and deteriorating rapidly.
I have to go now as I am having trouble trying to type through the tears.
I was told that " they don't give us anything we can't handle " but this IS hard, this is MY MUM.