1. huntsu1

    huntsu1 Registered User

    Jan 2, 2008
    27
    Blackwater
    My MiL has been in her care home for 11 days now, visiting on Saturday she was in her room and postively did not want to come out, she has always been in the lounge with the other residents when I have visited before. she was as usual very distressed and continued to ask when she was going home, could I take her now and how did the furniture get here. I am finding the extremely hard going, I cannot seem to be able to take here mind off the subject of home, she seems to have lost all of her memory and cannot remember her childhood or recent (2 mins ago) events.

    Because her memory is no-existent she cannot remeber visitors, what she has eaten or done, when she was at home we would rely on the book completed by the carers at each visit so thought I would ask the staff at the home.

    They were not forthcoming on giving me access to MiL notes and have suggested I buy a diary which can be filed in and kept in her room. I have done this and will be taking it in tonight.

    Is it too much to expect to have access to MiL notes? I have mentioned this to a collegue at work, (his daughter has worked in the care home environment locally) he has said that a neighbour of his is going to try the assisted living accomodation at the same home (MiL 'reminiscence') but his daughter has said that although this company spend a lot of time and money on the accomodtion there reputation for care is not soo good.
     
  2. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    I can only speak in the context of being a spouse, but I have access to Jan's notes any time I wish.

    Last week I was asked to sign off her latest care plan, which is reviewed regularly.

    I have access to information about every aspect of her care.

    Since she moved to the care home I have made it a conscious thing to build a relationship with the care home manager, her regional manager,and staff and indeed other relatives at the home.

    For reasons of confidentiality, the home needs to know the people and their relationship before making anything known. Some homes may also need to be assured that the information is only wanted for reasons of worry about the loved one.

    If they don't make the information available, then three things spring to mind:

    1. they don't keep that level of paperwork - which I find strange

    2. there is something they don't want people to know

    3. they are being over zealous in privacy of information

    Most likely it is 3.

    ... just my thoughts
     
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,661
    Kent
    11 days is a very short time for your MIL to be expected to adapt to a new environment. I know how upsetting it is, and how impossible it is to divert this disorientation, but it really is par for the course.

    But I do not understand why you are being denied access to your MIL`s notes. I would question their reasons.

    If it`s any consolation to you, my husband is still at home with me, but he still has a great deal of confusion, very similar to your MIL`s. He doesn`t remember visitors, even when our son comes to watch football with him. It`s a two hour visit and he forgets the visit and the match within minutes. He sometimes forgets he has eaten a main meal and asks when it will be ready.

    I doubt the carers book would have been a memory aid for much longer.

    I do wish you strength to see this through. Give the CH a chance but be prepared to complain if there`s anything you are unhappy about.

    Take care xx
     
  4. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    At my husband's home, each resident has a lever-arch file for the care plan, and this is updated regularly. The plans are in full view in the ofice, and I can ask to see John's at any time.

    I'd ask to talk to the head of unit and ask if there is any reason why you can't see your MIL's. I'd suspect Bruce is right, and it may be patient confidentiality, in which case your husband could confirm your right to see it. If there's any other reason, then it should be investigated.

    The diary is a good idea, you could ask visitors to 'sign in', so that ypu could see who has been. You could also note in it any special events, or anything you have noted about your MIL's condition, and ask the carers to check it.

    But I suspect Sylvia's right, as an aide for your MIL its use is going to be limited.
     
  5. CraigC

    CraigC Registered User

    Mar 21, 2003
    6,630
    London
    I agree with everything that has been said.
    If you asked them directly and they are not giving you access to the care plan then they need to give a reason. This care plan / file will contain a lot of useful information for all members of staff in involved in care.

    It may be that they do not have something to hide, just be that the home feel people will interfer - this was my experience in one particular home.

    You may be pleasantly surprised at the response if you put your foot down. A good home should be pleased that a relative is getting more involved in care.

    So my advice would be to catch the manager and explain your concerns.

    Good luck
    Craig
     
  6. huntsu1

    huntsu1 Registered User

    Jan 2, 2008
    27
    Blackwater
    Thank you all for your quick response, I am going to ring this morning to make an appointment to see the Care Manager, I will use my time this morning (whilst at work) to make a list of things I want to discuss. I am sure she is being well looked after, her skin is looking much better as she is being encouraged to drink more.

    I am just a bit of a control freak :eek: and not knowing what is going on makes me really uncomfortable and because mum has no recognition of what happended five miniutes ago it would be good to be reassured she is not being left alone in her room in the dark for long periods of time. (she was in her room with the tv and all lights off just sitting in the chair in the dark when we visited her on Saturday)

    I have also got permission to use some flexi time at work to enable me to visit at different times of the day as my visits have been upto now at the same time.
     
  7. CraigC

    CraigC Registered User

    Mar 21, 2003
    6,630
    London
    That's great and will hopefully make things a little easier for you. Good luck with the meeting and hope you get any issues addressed. Nothing wrong with trying to be in control BTW :) there are a lot of people in a care home and you only want what is best.

    If you found your mum alone and in the dark I'd ask how often they do room checks, water checks etc, but it sounds like you are on top of that list ;)

    Kind Regards
    Craig
     
  8. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,661
    Kent
    Unexpected visits are the best, especially when there are some doubts.
     
  9. elaineo2

    elaineo2 Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    945
    leigh lancashire
    As a carer and now care team leader.i know that you have access to care plans whenever you like.you have the power to have input to them also.have your say hun
     

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