Residential care

[Misty]

I was hoping somebody may be able to offer me some advice concerning my Grandma. She has been in a home since July '04, and her dementia has deterioated rapidly since November. Literally over night, she went from being slightly confused and forgetful, to a paranoid and very frightened lady. We have never had a definate diagnosis as such concerning her dementia as she will not allow any tests to be done on her, getting quite agressive and angry if we approach her about it.
Well in the last week or so, she has refused to be given any care by the carers or family. This including washing, changing her clothes, and more importantly she refuses to take her medication.
The situation is as such now that the carers cannot force her to wash or change her clothes (she has been in them now day and night for over a week), because that is classed as abuse, and likewise if they leave her it is classed as neglect. Also they cannot force her to take her medication. So what is likely to happen now?? Is she likely to end up in an EMI home?
Grandma has been under a specialist, who ordered a scan to be taken, however she refused to go to the hospital to have it done, and now the specialist is claiming to have lost her records, so the whole process apparently has to start again.
I feel that the whole situation is out of my hands, and that I have no control over what happens to her anymore.
I would gratefully appreciate any advice. Thanks.

 

[Sheila]

Dear Misty, sounds like your Nan does need to be seen by her GP or a specialist to assess her. Perhaps they could come out to see her rather than her go to them. If they did, they could pass themselves off as just a visitor maybe. It's probably a long shot, the home has probably already checked, but sometimes a urine infection, constipation or the start of a virus or cold can make people worse, ask if they have checked these things. You will need professional help there too if it is, as she may need medication. All in all, that is the route I would take how ever you can wangle it. The situation has to be addressed and sorted as soon as possible for your Nans own well being. Love She. XX

 

[Misty]

Hi Sheila

My Grandma has supposedly got the specialist visiting her next week, although we have heard all this before. I think I am going to have to take a more direct approach with the doctor because I really feel that my Grandma is getting the brush off. Files on her have been 'lost' twice now, and quite frankly such incompetence worries me. How can they look after my Grandma if they cant look after their paperwork.

I have also heard that if she does get moved to an EMI home, that they force the residents to take their medication using restraints. Is this true? I just couldn't bear it. Thanks for listening.

Misty

 

[Sheila]

Dear Misty, try not to listen to the scaremongering, there are an awful lot of good caring homes out there. Sadly it is only the bad that feature as news items to sell papers! Start keeping your own notes and make it known why you feel you need to, - as they are losing them, that should put a fly in the ointment and get them found pronto. If you need to comment on anything, take your notes with you and quote back on dates, events etc and get them to verify them. Hope things soon improve for you. Love She. XX

 

[Brucie]

Hi Misty

Jan is in what would have been termed an EMI home.

They are not allowed even to pat the residents on the shoulder to comfort them as that is taken to be 'abuse', so I'd think it most unlikely that any properly run home would do anything to distress her.

Don't forget, 'EMI' doesn't mean 'Extra Martial Interventions", but 'Elderly, Mentally Infirm".