Mum (who has Alzheimer’s) is in residential care after her third serious fall in a year and it is clear to me that it is not safe for her to come home. The dilemma I have is my dad. He also has Alzheimer’s and struggles to consistently remember where mum is. He doesn’t accept that she needs residential care and is constantly asking when she is coming home. I do not live nearby but in the last year have spent most of my time staying with my dad while my mum has been in hospital or a care home. I have lost a job because of it and am just about hanging on to another part time job which I can do some of from a distance. I have organised carers who do his medication and lunch and another carer who takes him to see my mum every day and then out to do a bit of shopping. He doesn’t accept that he needs these carers. I hoped that would be enough but am getting numerous phone calls every day (often five minutes apart) asking where I am and when I am ‘coming home’. I visit and stay overnight very regularly but have a family and can’t live with him (which is pretty much what he seems to want). My dad will not consider residential care and does not accept that he needs support even though he wants me at his beck and call. When is it time to say enough is enough and insist he goes into residential care. Or do I just leave him as he is and unplug my phone ? My worry is that if he goes to the same place as my mum he will unsettle her by insisting they both go home. I don’t think he is unsafe but he isn’t happy either and very disoriented at times. But maybe would be much worse in residential care if it is against his wishes. I feel that in the writing of this I’ve almost answered my own question but would welcome advice and thoughts from others. Thank you.