We are going to have to make the decision for Dad to go into residential care. There, I said it (or rather wrote it!) It is such a difficult decision. Mum says she feels a failure but she knows she cannot cope any longer. She is struggling and not getting any sleep.
He now has a "helper" (carer) who goes twice a week for a few hours, but Dad doesn't really like it and tries to get out of the house so the doors have to be locked. He would wander off and get hurt. They live on a fell side, with a steep drive on a country lane with a river at the bottom of the drive!! Mum says they should have moved about 5 years ago but they didn't want to and of course it is too late now. However, she will move closer to us at some point.
He would be safer in care, he would have more to do more activities, he does nothing at home feeling cooped up because the doors are locked, making him more anxious and then aggressive. He spends his time pacing from room to room or just sitting in a chair, his speech is unclear and jumbled. Ive told Mum that she has done well to look after him this long. He is 85 in March, she is 83 and walks with sticks! he has Vascular dementia and was diagnosed about 2 and a half years ago.
We are visiting various secure care homes because he will open doors and wander off. But how do we tell him thats where he will be living?
How to we take him? what do we tell him?
Anyone got any ideas?
thank you
He now has a "helper" (carer) who goes twice a week for a few hours, but Dad doesn't really like it and tries to get out of the house so the doors have to be locked. He would wander off and get hurt. They live on a fell side, with a steep drive on a country lane with a river at the bottom of the drive!! Mum says they should have moved about 5 years ago but they didn't want to and of course it is too late now. However, she will move closer to us at some point.
He would be safer in care, he would have more to do more activities, he does nothing at home feeling cooped up because the doors are locked, making him more anxious and then aggressive. He spends his time pacing from room to room or just sitting in a chair, his speech is unclear and jumbled. Ive told Mum that she has done well to look after him this long. He is 85 in March, she is 83 and walks with sticks! he has Vascular dementia and was diagnosed about 2 and a half years ago.
We are visiting various secure care homes because he will open doors and wander off. But how do we tell him thats where he will be living?
How to we take him? what do we tell him?
Anyone got any ideas?
thank you