Have been visiting this site for a week or so, and I am in awe of most of you. I just visit my mum, don't directly care for her - but I'm just horrified, immobilised by what's happened to her. I can't help her and if anything I'm just repelled from the whole situation, but I keep going back. Its as if she's not there anymore, and if I don't visit, I feel better, but I can't not visit, I have to go. I can't move on, and I can't bear it here.