1. kimg

    kimg Registered User

    Feb 24, 2015
    5
    Hertfordshire
    My mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in January. She lives alone, with care from 8am to 5pm. She makes multiple phone calls, usually repetitive ones, all day but mainly in the evenings. Are there any ideas that we can use to help her to reduce these phone calls please? They drive the recipients crazy.

    it isn’t loneliness, as she receives many phone calls and some visitors in the evenings and is in bed by 9pm.
     
  2. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,829
    UK
    Does she use her telephone book when making these calls? if so, what about removing it and replacing with one that only contains important numbers like close family members and people that don't mind being phoned repeatedly. I suppose in time you'll have to look at 'blocking' numbers.
     
  3. kimg

    kimg Registered User

    Feb 24, 2015
    5
    Hertfordshire
    Phone calls.

    These are good ideas and will help.Thank you. The main sufferer though is my sister, who may get 10-12 calls per evening. She has to answer the phone as she is concerned that there may have been an accident. Mum is more wary of me and Im very far away. I call her every evening anyway. I wanted to help my sister really. This will help with the optician, doctors, neighbours, paper shop, etc!. Thanks again.
     
  4. Witzend

    Witzend Registered User

    Aug 29, 2007
    4,289
    SW London
    It is almost certainly the case tht your mother can't remember that she has already phoned the person several times. We had the sme problem with my mother phoning my brother - at its worst it was 30 times in one hour. She simply could not remember phoning a few minutes previously. For your sister's sanity she may have to steel herself not to answer for certain periods. I know it is not esy, though. What some people do is have a dedicated number on a separate phone for 'mum' and only answer at certain times, but record a message to say e.g., 'Sorry, mum, I can't talk now, but we'll have a chat later.' So that at least she would hear her voice.
     
  5. kimg

    kimg Registered User

    Feb 24, 2015
    5
    Hertfordshire
    Thank you Witzend. My sister is so worried that a call may be really important at some point. But we will talk about your valuable suggestions. Thank you x
     
  6. Amy in the US

    Amy in the US Registered User

    Feb 28, 2015
    4,624
    USA
    I just wanted to say that we had the same problem with my mother, and if you do a search here on TP, you will see many others have as well.

    We had the same pattern as your mum, with repetitive phone calls, mainly in the evenings. It got to the point where I would cry every time the phone rang.

    My advice for your sister is going to sound unkind, and I want you to know I do not mean to be unkind! I understand that your sister is, understandably, concerned about your mother. We all know that feeling of dreading the "emergency" phone call. But it really comes down to this: your sister does not have to answer the phone, but can choose to answer the phone every time it rings, or not. I recommend, for her sanity, not answering more than once an evening. If the phone calls come after your sister's bedtime, she can turn off the ringer.

    The separate phone lines, with a dedicated message, are a good solution for some people, as is blocking certain phone numbers. My mother's memory is to the point where she cannot remember phone numbers, and we have given her (many copies) a phone list with just the numbers she needs.

    Best of luck!
     
  7. kimg

    kimg Registered User

    Feb 24, 2015
    5
    Hertfordshire
    Thank you

    Im really grateful for this. I don't think it sounds unkind at all. Sometimes I worry that I have upset my mum when I moan about the phone calls, but she has forgotten in a few minutes. I will discuss this with my sister. Very helpful (but sad) to know other people have this problem. Thanks again.

     
  8. sheelz

    sheelz Registered User

    Sep 1, 2014
    35
    Hi Kimg we have the same with my mum(diagnosed vascular dementia 3years ago). She can't remember one phone to the next to me or my sister. Also 7 days ago I got back from 3weeks in the states, while I was away I rang my mum every other day and each call she would ask me if I was 'on the bus going home', now I'm back home (we have caller display and she had rang my landline numerous times while I was away)she is now remembering I'm back home so the calls are getting more 'back to normal' but my sister is still getting up to 30 calls !!! Sorry I've not got any answers, but just letting you know your not on your own.
     
  9. kimg

    kimg Registered User

    Feb 24, 2015
    5
    Hertfordshire
    Thank you Sheelz. It is sad to know that this is one of the common experiences. I appreciate you answering x

     
  10. Mollygoose

    Mollygoose Registered User

    Dec 19, 2014
    52
    Lincolnshire
    Phone calls

    Hi there my mum was ringing at least 20times through the night and all day long ! As I was up at 4.30 am in the morning for work you can imagine how worn out I was ! We tried sleeping tablets but they was too strong ! But she has tinitus and the doctor gave her some tablets to try and calm her ear noises down and low and behold they relaxed her so she had a good nights sleep ! So after 2yrs of none stop calls through the night we don't get them now ! Only all day long ! But I can cope with that ! Ask you doctor if he can prescribe a calm me down tablet ! X if not get a answerphone machine !
     
  11. Mollygoose

    Mollygoose Registered User

    Dec 19, 2014
    52
    Lincolnshire
    Phone calls

    Hi there my mum was ringing at least 20times through the night and all day long ! As I was up at 4.30 am in the morning for work you can imagine how worn out I was ! We tried sleeping tablets but they was too strong ! But she has tinitus and the doctor gave her some tablets to try and calm her ear noises down and low and behold they relaxed her so she had a good nights sleep ! So after 2yrs of none stop calls through the night we don't get them now ! Only all day long ! But I can cope with that ! Ask you doctor if he can prescribe a calm me down tablet ! X if not get a answerphone machine !
     
  12. Notechy

    Notechy Registered User

    Dec 4, 2015
    1
    #12 Notechy, Dec 4, 2015
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2015
    Mum mother entered residential care with mild to moderate dementia in August 2014. Due to poor reception, mobile phone useless and we got a landline installed. On the advice of the care team, this was set up to be incoming calls only. We were reluctant to have this restriction, but were advised that if we did not have it from the outset, it would cause worse problems to go for a restriction later.

    In view of the experiences reported in this thread, I am please with our decision. But, of course, it is not such a viable option outside a care home setting.
     
  13. Amy in the US

    Amy in the US Registered User

    Feb 28, 2015
    4,624
    USA
    Hi Notechy, and welcome to TP. Thank you for posting about your situation with the phone. I actually wasn't aware that was an option and it's good to put the idea out there, where others may benefit from it. I think the phone calls are something a LOT of people experience, sadly.
     

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