I'm struggling with Mum at the moment. We still don't have a diagnosis but she's going through various tests - just had a 24 hour heart monitor thingy so we don't know if she has dementia yet. Everything seems to be going to pot. She's decided that she can't cope with anything and demands total attention. She's always been a bit controlling but I can't move these days because she won't even try to manage things for herself which leaves me going spare trying to make sure stuff is done. Just this week she had a dental appointment that I booked for her, I put it on on her calendar and mine and arranged to take her but something else came up. I asked her to cancel the appointment - something she's more than capable of doing - but she just didn't bother and when I asked her why I got 'I'm so stupid, what would I do if you weren't here' etc. She won't do a single thing to help herself and it's exhausting. I have to keep an eye on the fridge - she will never check dates on things and uses out of date stuff willy nilly and she then uses that as another excuse as to why she can't cope if I'm not there. I stay over several nights a week which is a nightmare. I can't even go to the loo without her coming to 'find' me if I'm more than two seconds. This is going to sound horribly selfish but I can't give up my entire life to fuss over her can I? The Phantom Sister thinks one phone call a day is duty done but I'm not getting a second to myself. I spend every spare minute at Mum's because she gets in a tizzy if I'm not there but my own house is turning into a dump because I'm not there to attend to it I work too which The Phantom Sister does not so I think she could take some of the responsibility but Mum would hate it as The PS has no tact whatsoever. I had to come home earlier than usual yesterday for a delivery and Mum made such a drama of it you'd have thought it was the end of the world. I feel awful for saying so but it was lovely being at home and doing what I wanted for once. I'm a horrible person. Should I be firmer and tell her she's more than capable of coping? She is, that's the sad thing, she just tells herself she can't. I've tried persuading her to join stuff but she doesn't want to go to things which are full of old people [she's 81 herself] so I'm struggling majorly.