Hi
My Dad collapsed with very slow heart rate and low blood pressure, the total opposite to what he's usually like. He's just come out of hospital after a 2 week stay where the staff very quickly realised that he has dementia and were constantly cornering me about it. Dad in the past has aggressively refused all outside help other than me, he's fiercely independent, but after quite a few assessments while in hospital where he scored very low in all of them. a community care worker contacted me and I had to admit that I've been struggling to look after him and said good luck if they were successful in getting him to agree to help.
Well the care worker was absolutely fab and very quickly got the measure of Dad and managed to get him to agree to help in the house. I'm quite sure that he doesn't understand what he's signed up to but I feel as if a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders now that there will be another pair of far more expert eyes keeping an eye on him and I'll have a bit more flexibility with my work and life.
I took Dad home last night, he was so relieved to get back, and I keep telling him that somebody will be in from Monday to check on him every morning then will come back to bring him some lunch every day. He's really puzzled about this and keeps asking why but I'm standing my ground, and will eventually get him a cleaner and a gardener when he's got used to this.
But I also feel really guilty because he doesn't understand what's going on and to him his life will be changing in a way he doesn't want it to because he thinks he can cope easily himself. I know that when I go to see him now it will be quality time I can spend with him rather than running round trying to get him meals, clean and garden for him but I feel a huge sense of betrayal and that I'm abandoning him to his dreaded social services.
Oh, on a really positive note the care worker said he can claim attendance allowance. I was told ages ago it was means tested so wouldn't be able to claim. With Dad's obsession with money, I could maybe use this to soften the blow a little for him and tell him he'll be being paid to be be looked after!
A-Jay
My Dad collapsed with very slow heart rate and low blood pressure, the total opposite to what he's usually like. He's just come out of hospital after a 2 week stay where the staff very quickly realised that he has dementia and were constantly cornering me about it. Dad in the past has aggressively refused all outside help other than me, he's fiercely independent, but after quite a few assessments while in hospital where he scored very low in all of them. a community care worker contacted me and I had to admit that I've been struggling to look after him and said good luck if they were successful in getting him to agree to help.
Well the care worker was absolutely fab and very quickly got the measure of Dad and managed to get him to agree to help in the house. I'm quite sure that he doesn't understand what he's signed up to but I feel as if a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders now that there will be another pair of far more expert eyes keeping an eye on him and I'll have a bit more flexibility with my work and life.
I took Dad home last night, he was so relieved to get back, and I keep telling him that somebody will be in from Monday to check on him every morning then will come back to bring him some lunch every day. He's really puzzled about this and keeps asking why but I'm standing my ground, and will eventually get him a cleaner and a gardener when he's got used to this.
But I also feel really guilty because he doesn't understand what's going on and to him his life will be changing in a way he doesn't want it to because he thinks he can cope easily himself. I know that when I go to see him now it will be quality time I can spend with him rather than running round trying to get him meals, clean and garden for him but I feel a huge sense of betrayal and that I'm abandoning him to his dreaded social services.
Oh, on a really positive note the care worker said he can claim attendance allowance. I was told ages ago it was means tested so wouldn't be able to claim. With Dad's obsession with money, I could maybe use this to soften the blow a little for him and tell him he'll be being paid to be be looked after!
A-Jay