Mum has been on her own for 11 years. Up to January, she went out happily on her own, helped in a community cafe once a week, organised the social programme for a retired people's club, went ballroom dancing once or twice a week .... It was obvious that she was beginning to lose her memory, but it as only a minor inconvenience. Just after Christmas, she did something to her back that meant she could hardly walk. Since then, her memory's really deteriorated. She can't remember how to use a PIN number, is having a problem with money, doesn't remember to take her painkillers - and I'm not sure how much she's eating, as she's lost a lot of weight lately. I live 200 miles away and am the head teacher of a language school (just the standard 4 weeks off per year), so can only visit for a weekend every 6 weeks or so (it's hard to get time off, I need the job to keep my own family afloat and my husband isn't well enough to do the journey with me - heart condition and Chron's Disease). My brother lives 8 miles from Mum, and he does what he is able, but he leaves the house for work at 7 in the morning and doesn't get home till 7 at night. His own wife has osteoarthritis, so needs his help at home. He phones regularly, but only sees her once every couple of weeks. Mum's neighbours are great and keep an eye on her, but we know that we shouldn't put on them too much. Mum has friends in the area and has lived in her current house for 55 years. I would love to bring her to our town, although our house is rather too small for her to live here. If we rented somewhere nearby, though, she would be unlikely to see my brother or his kids as much as she sees me now - and her friends wouldn't come this far. I was wondering what thoughts people have on this situation. Does anybody else out there have the distance problem we have? What do you do? There will be a way forward, I know ... I just can't see it yet!